To feel so fed up people feel sorry for me I only have boys?

[Isit2021yetplease]

Just that really - I’ve got two DS. They are amazing - and completely chalk and cheese from each other. Whether I wanted girls or not is irrelevant- the fact is I have 2 amazing boys and you get what you get!
I’ve had so many passing comments from people with things like “I’d be so dissapointed not to Have a daughter” “so you’re going for number 3 to finally get a girl?” “How did you feel when the second was a boy?”
I don’t know what they hope to gain from it - that I’ll say - yes I’m gutted I don’t have a girl? Thanks for bringing it up?
If I was hoping for a girl all they do is reenforce the disappointment, and it I wasn’t hoping for a girl I don’t see why I have to constantly justify why I’m perfectly happy with my two happy healthy children.

Just needed a rant after a conversation with a friend today (when musing on a 3rd said - oh but would it be worth the risk, what if you got another boy?)
Does anyone else get this?

[Kaykay066]

I have 4 boys I haven’t had this except for the odd person asking me if I wanted a girl, I did at one point but I’m quite happy with my lovely boys it’s full on and great fun and challenging but I’m very lucky to have them.
Sad the other people are making folk feel bad, Boys are wonderful and so are girls you get what you get making someone else feel like crap because of that is pathetic

[Mypathtriedtokillme]

My mil and her sister said to me DH must be so disappointed that our 2nd was a girl (She was about 4 days old)
I was raging hormonal mother and asked her what the hell was wrong with them and have they seen actually him.

Dh was on the couch cuddling & cooing over his new DD with her big sister totally madly in love, all dewy eyed and proud (He never looked at me with the same amount of tenderness or love. He was the human equivalent of how a Labrador longing looks at food)

[SandMason]

3 boys here, and what worked for me was pre-empting with a (genuinely) joyous answer ‘yes I got my 3rd boy!! So lucky!!’ And then ending the conversation sharpish as you really don’t need attitudes like that around your precious sons. Imagine the 2nd or 3rd grew up with even an inkling they were a disappointment. People don’t think what they’re saying half the time and would make the comments in front of my kids. Baby is too young to understand obvs but older siblings pick up on that stuff and it could affect the way they see/treat each other. Try to nip it in the bud ASAP with some quick comebacks for your kids’ sake.

[Neverbeensocross]

I have boy girl girl, and frequently get comments, in the face of my second girl, declaring she must be a mistake, afterall, there was no need for a third. I think people truly say horrrid things regardless of how many or what gender children you have. Only children are pitied and branded spoilt brats, two the same gender, disappointing, additional children " unnecessary accidents, 4 or more, as a parent you are branded as sex obbsessed or stupid. We are all hurt by thoughtless comments, which say more about the person who made them, than the person they are directed at.

[Temp123999]

I have boy girl twins and people told me they need another sibling.
I just smiled and ignored them.

[Boredbumhead]

I have 2 boys and no one has ever said this to me. I think the people in the circles you are moving in must be very rude and misinformed.

[Justjoshin22]

@SandMason agree with this.And just think how sad it is when mums say it themselves! I often think about how shit it is for my BIL who is the second DS when my MIL says how much she wanted a Dd but never got one

[puffinrocks]

My mother had 3 daughters. The amount of times people told her what a shame that was that she never got the boy she "must have wanted" in fact no, she didn't want boys and actually prayed for my youngest sister to be a girl! Fast forward to my first pregnancy... the comments of "you'll finally get a little boy in your life now!" Ramped up. It made her absolutely murderous and she used to say to me at every opportunity she hoped I had a girl! The "disappointment" people projected on her when I delivered my daughter annoyed her and me!

I then got pregnant again... with a second daughter!! We were both overjoyed but the comments continued!!

People are insensitive, judgmental and projecting their own desires onto others... in short, fuck them! Be happy with your boys!

[SandMason]

@Justjoshin22 that’s so sad. That kind of stuff can hang over someone their whole life. It often amazes me what some people say about their own kids, often in front of them(!) while making casual conversation. We’re supposed to be our kids’ champions. If we don’t have their backs, who will?

[SleepingStandingUp]

We haven't left the house much since DTwijs arrival in Dec but I'm anticipating this as I now have 3 boys. Yes I'd have liked a girl, I hoped the twisn were non I'd and b/g because I worry about the dynamics of identical twisn and a singleton sibling but I wouldn't swap the and there's no reason they can't come shopping, come to the ballet etc with me

[LEELULUMPKIN]

Not me OP but my Dsis has 4 boys and used to get it all the time. I think as they get older though it's never mentioned.

[MonaLisaDoesntSmile]

Haha I have the same- 2 boys, when I was pregnant second time, and did not know yet what it would be, so many people said "Oh I bet you wish it's a girl" or "Fingers crossed it's a girl" etc etc. I actually wanted another boy!

[Montsti]

My first 2 were 1 of each so everyone was astounded that I had a 3rd...”Why would you as you’ve already got the perfect combination?” type comments...”Was no.3 unplanned?” Etc...

Even worse when I was pregnant with no.4...”Surely this one was unplanned?” I have 1 ds and 3 dds...I know get asked if I’ll have another one as surely I want another ds....no I won’t...

My (long-winded) point is that people always have something to say.

Enjoy your boys!

[Iminaglasscaseofemotion]

I have 2 boys. Didn't think we would have anymore but I'm currently pregnant with the third. So many people have said to me "oh maybe you will get a girl this time". It's pissing me off.

[HavelockVetinari]

@Crownofthorns

This makes me so angry. As someone who struggled to have kids - DD5 was conceived via IVF and I miscarried my ‘miracle’ naturally conceived baby last November - any baby is a blessing. If I was lucky enough to have a second I would be over the moon whether I had another girl or boy.

of solidarity. 8 rounds of IVF here, 5 miscarriages, 1 DS (nearly 3) and shite AMH.

May we both get our miracle 2nd babies.

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

Enjoy your lovely boys OP!

I had a boy first. When preg with second people really could not believe I genuinely gave not two shits what sex the baby was, so many people expected I was hoping for a girl.

Two boys is lovely. Two girls is lovely. One of each is lovely. Healthy happy babies are lovely. People are so bloody weird about it.

[GarlicMonkey]

I'm a lone mother with a house full of teenage boys. I had similar comments when they were small but now, people comment on how lucky I am. You see I'm ruined. I am queen of this castle & I'm adored beyond comprehension. I get coffee in bed every morning, cuddled to within an inch of my life, picked up & spun around & what a laugh we have. We have our problems like any other family but they're so close & the banter between them all makes my day, every day. I used to be disappointed I didn't have a daughter but now I'm so grateful for my adoring boys. I'm lucky beyond belief. When people sympathise with you let it roll off because you're biggest future problem will be the height of your pedestal. We boy mums are the luckiest of them all.

[Twospaniels]

My sister has 3 boys. She wanted 3 children regardless of gender. When she was pregnant with the third, she got “oh are you trying for a girl?”
When the baby was a boy so many oeople instead fo congratulating her on a healthy baby were saying “oh what a shame, another boy, you must be disappointed “
She wasn’t. She was happy to have a healthy baby.
People can be very thoughtless

[Mischance]

PablosHoney - how I do agree with you!

My 3 DDs - now adult - are like a club. They are so loyal to each other, even though they are so different. And one of them is married to the oldest of 3 boys, and they are the same.

OH used to call me and the girls the "Female Mafia" - in fun, of course!

[OverTheRainbow88]

The MW who did my home Visit the day after the birth of my second boy asked if I was disappointed I didn’t have a girl!

[Sugarhouse]

Oh my gosh why do people do this. It actually really quite rude although I’m sure they don’t mean to be. It’s almost like saying a boy is not as good. I was told a few times when I found out my second was a girl oh one of each don’t need to have any more now. I wasn’t bothered either way If I have a child it’s because I want another child not a boy/girl. I would probably find it hard to hide my annoyance if I were you op. GarlicMonkey Your boys sound so lovely

[KangarooIsland]

Someone from my hometown had 2 boys and then a girl, and she posts some awful stuff online about how she “finally got her girl” and I feel so sad for her second son.

The fact that me & DH have one of each makes us “clever”, according to MIL. Not sure how she worked that one out...

[OhioOhioOhio]

GarlicMonkey You are my hero.