To feel so fed up people feel sorry for me I only have boys?

[Isit2021yetplease]

Just that really - I’ve got two DS. They are amazing - and completely chalk and cheese from each other. Whether I wanted girls or not is irrelevant- the fact is I have 2 amazing boys and you get what you get!
I’ve had so many passing comments from people with things like “I’d be so dissapointed not to Have a daughter” “so you’re going for number 3 to finally get a girl?” “How did you feel when the second was a boy?”
I don’t know what they hope to gain from it - that I’ll say - yes I’m gutted I don’t have a girl? Thanks for bringing it up?
If I was hoping for a girl all they do is reenforce the disappointment, and it I wasn’t hoping for a girl I don’t see why I have to constantly justify why I’m perfectly happy with my two happy healthy children.

Just needed a rant after a conversation with a friend today (when musing on a 3rd said - oh but would it be worth the risk, what if you got another boy?)
Does anyone else get this?

[Hardbackwriter]

Incidentally one of the most satisfying things I have ever seen is a woman at softplay loudly and obnoxiously going on about how lucky she was to have girls because they're so much easier and gentler, who then had to stop her conversation because her daughter had randomly walloped another child

[Willow4987]

People have started saying this to me as I have 2 DS

DS2 is only 4.5 months so no where near thinking of adding another imminently but as soon as we brought him home (and I mean immediately) people asked if we’d have another to try for a girl

Secretly DH and I do want a 3rd and I would love a girl just for a point of difference but I’d equally love another boy. We just feel there is ‘someone’ missing. We’ve not told anyone this and one of the main things that puts me off a 3rd are the comments about wanting a girl from other people. I’d hate for my boys to feel like I only had them to try and get a girl when that’s not the case at all.

[recklessgran]

Five girls here. All different, all precious, all adored. You can't begin to imagine the number of comments we've had over the years. Still getting them now and the youngest is 27! No, we weren't "trying for a boy". We were hoping for a healthy baby of any variety to add to our growing brood and couldn't have cared less about the sex of it. This is probably outing but our eldest was born with a very rare genetic syndrome and for that reason we found the comments particularly upsetting especially when made by people who knew about the risks involved. Some people are SO rude!

[Isit2021yetplease]

God some of these stories are making my blood boil. People can be so bloody insensitive and just total idiots

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

Just ignore them, stupid people.
If it’s any comfort, I had the same with two girls, who both dh and I were very happy with.
‘Oh, you’ll have to try again for a boy,’ etc.
Well, I might have tried again, but that was because for a while I was seriously broody for another baby, didn’t care which. But it wore off.

Dh bought me a lovely ring right after I had dd2 - I’d never had an engagement ring - and a non-Brit neighbour actually said, ‘You got that for a girl?’
To be entirely fair she did come from a very boy-favouring culture, but even so....

[MaMisled]

I'll never forget when a friend gave birth to her third healthy, beautiful daughter and her own Grandmother said "Ooooh! You must be SO disappointed!"

[SunbathingDragon]

When I was pregnant with DD3 someone in DH’s family told us we were hoping for a boy (we weren’t!). When she died and we decided to have another baby, who was a boy, nobody made any comment at all.

[chillandrelax]

You just need to ignore them! People say the first thing that pops into their head. I have 3 boys and use to get this a lot and it use to upset me. My oldest is 12 now and I can't remember the last time it was said to me. I remember a friend saying once that she was glad she had girls (she is a lovely person) and I genuinely thought that is how she feels and she really didn't mean to upset me!

[MacavityTheDentistsCat]

I have never understood this attitude. I have a girl (whom I adore) but I would love to have had a boy. The idea of my female body producing someone of the opposite sex is fascinating to me. Rationally I know there is a 50/50 chance but I am always slightly envious of the mothers of boys - and especially multiple boys. I love it when you see them lying on the floor together building lego or play fighting with one another - like little puppies testing their strength. So cute.

[PumpkinP]

I can imagine this, I had a girl then a boy then another boy then another girl! So have always been told how “lucky” I am. I do know a few people that have had all boys and they are disappointed they never had a girl, it seems girls are definitely more favoured as when I’ve seen gender disappointment threads it’s always someone sad they are having a boy.

[redastherose]

Ignore them like all the other tripe people say when you have children. I have two girls, neither is girly, neither is particularly likely to have children (26 & 16). Apparently something I am supposed to be wishing for! As far as I am concerned I had two children both have very different characters I am just very thankful that they are healthy and that I've given both the skills to survive in the world. It is a spectacular short selling of our children to pigeon hole them.

[GrumpyHoonMain]

@wagtailred

My MIL cried in dissapointment at my second boy. My friend said 'its such a shame you wont get to be a proper mum' i was a bit confused and she said that mums of boys are sort of caretakers until they get a wife. And many friends insist i must live in a perpetual state of dissapointment. Its so annoying

Women who say stuff like that tend to be the same women who never get to see their grandkids because all their kids cut them off after uni.

[SamVimesFavouriteDragon]

People are bonkers. My Nan said (the day before I had my scan ) that she was hoping I'd have a girl so my cousin's baby would have someone to play with. Because obviously that's what I was going for!
They play together fine - why wouldn't they?

Obviously that still bothers me more than it should

[Mischance]

Oh doesn't it just make you sick! I had 3 girls and everyone assumed the third pregnancy was to try for a boy - nothing could have been further from the truth.

I knew someone who kept on conceiving in order to try for a boy to inherit their farm - why should the girls not inherit? - why might not the boy want to be an artist? She finished up with 5 girls and was so disappointed that she would not even name the 5th but left it to her OH.

I used to be positively rude to people who commiserated with me at having a third child of the same sex - and I am not usually a rude person. How bloody dare they!!??

[av3nturin3]

Mother of 3 boys! I‘ve heard all of the above comments. I have PCOS and have had a rocky reproductive journey so I’m very thankful for my healthy, happy children.

[MidnightCitrus]

I have 2 boys, and never ever have I been asked if I am disappointed, or if I would / should try for a girl

[WhiteCliffsBeside]

YANBU at all! 2 boys here too and I've heard all the usual crap, from the more light hearted "hands full" to "I feel sorry for mums without daughters". Boys are definitely seen as second best in the UK just now. Some of it is down to stereotyping that girls play quietly and do well at school whilst boys tear about wrecking the place and eating bogies all day. And some is due to stereotyping that men aren't as close to their families as adults as women are, which isn't borne out by what I see of my peers - close families are close families regardless of the sex of their children.

[DarkmilkAddict]

This is a horrible attitude! Though I’m the odd one out as I’m in the 8th year of having 2 boys and only one person has ever hinted at this (and she was a right weirdo, a self-styled ‘happiness addict’, hate to think what she had going on subconsciously)

[zigaziga]

Yes, I have a DS and DD. When I was pregnant with DD everyone kept telling me how happy they were for me and it seemed very much that they were happy I was getting a girl rather than just happy I was having another. It really did my head in as I didn’t care either way and I actually got very upset about it on behalf of my DS as if people felt like he wasn’t enough.

[Monkeynuts18]

There’s an internet acronym about this isn’t there - SMOGs - Smug Mother of Girls?

[feelingfragile]

Oh god yes, sister and niece 'treat' me to days out shopping because it's a shame I don't get to do those things as a mother of boys.

I daren't tell them I hate shopping 😂

[Mumoblue]

I have two older sisters and my mother used to get told "Don't fill your house up with girls trying to get a boy" all the time.
She never actually wanted a boy.

My partner on the other hand is the youngest of three boys and his mother used to get asked if she was trying for a girl, and she wasn't.

Apparently some people think you have to have one of each to be happy!

[Metallicalover]

My grandma asked if I was disappointed that my daughter (who took a long time to conceive) if I was upset that she wasn't a boy. She asked a couple of times.
She says there's lack of boys in the family 🙄
I've also been told that boys are more loving than girls? Wtaf??
People are crazy! X

[LemonadeAndDaisyChains]

Meh. Ignore them.
I have boys, no girls, I've had "aren't you going to try for a girl as well?"
Me "nah, I'm good I'm alright with what I have thanks"

[Metallicalover]

My grandma asked if I was disappointed that my daughter (who took a long time to conceive) if I was upset that she wasn't a boy. She asked a couple of times.
She says there's lack of boys in the family 🙄
I've also been told that boys are more loving than girls? Wtaf??
People are crazy! X