To feel so fed up people feel sorry for me I only have boys?

[Isit2021yetplease]

Just that really - I’ve got two DS. They are amazing - and completely chalk and cheese from each other. Whether I wanted girls or not is irrelevant- the fact is I have 2 amazing boys and you get what you get!
I’ve had so many passing comments from people with things like “I’d be so dissapointed not to Have a daughter” “so you’re going for number 3 to finally get a girl?” “How did you feel when the second was a boy?”
I don’t know what they hope to gain from it - that I’ll say - yes I’m gutted I don’t have a girl? Thanks for bringing it up?
If I was hoping for a girl all they do is reenforce the disappointment, and it I wasn’t hoping for a girl I don’t see why I have to constantly justify why I’m perfectly happy with my two happy healthy children.

Just needed a rant after a conversation with a friend today (when musing on a 3rd said - oh but would it be worth the risk, what if you got another boy?)
Does anyone else get this?

[m0therofdragons]

Dh gets a huge amount of sympathy for having 3 girls. It really annoys him. He loves our girls and our family is perfect. I’ve no doubt it would have felt perfect if we had boys or a combination. I’ve never understood the preconceived idea of perfect.

[phoenixrosehere]

Just out of interest, has anyone ever had a man make these sort of comments or is it always women?

FIL mentioned how lucky we were to have all boys because girls are hard work and his dream was to have three sons. My SIL is his second child.

My dad said they would have tried for a boy but due to my mother having pre-eclampsia again, they didn’t want to risk it, but my sister is close enough to a boy in mannerism so he can’t complain. He was over the moon when we told him our first was a boy and said he finally got his son.

As a mom of boys, I’ve only received the “you have your hands full” comment, but it doesn’t offend me in the slightest because it’s true in their case. I love them but they have done quite a bit of damage despite being only 5 and 2.5. They are well-behaved in public though and save their boisterousness for home which is good.

[JoysOfString]

When I had DS, my first child, I was imagining having a girl as that was what I was most familiar with (all girls in my family), and was a bit dumbfounded to have a boy. I confided in a midwife that I felt out of my depth with a boy and she said "I have four boys, boys are FABULOUS!" and so he was and is! He was an only for several years and I often experienced a kind of patronising pity from mums of girls that I didn't have their special bond.

Then when I got pg again I hoped for a girl, but only because I didn't want a boy who might feel compared to my wonderful DS :o I wanted a child who was as different as possible so I wouldn't compare them. I got a girl and then there was a weird sense of being "allowed" into the "special bond mums of girls" club. It's all ridiculous.

[Haplap]

It's just sexism, call it out and challenge it. It's tiring, but important. I've heard so many parents come out with this crap. It starts when you're pregnant with the casual atrocious question "are you hoping for a boy or a girl?". My standard reply was, "I'm hoping for a healthy baby, I'm not too concerned about their genitals".

[Jemma2907]

I lost my firstborn, a girl at 21weeks and then went on to have 2 beautiful boys. Comments about whether I want a girl can cut me to the core. People just don't think. I am incredibly lucky to have two healthy children!

[Justaboy]

Of two marridges had three DD's all loved ot bits as is the GDD and now a Grandson:)

Yippee! got someone to go trainspotting with now:)

Girls arent too fond of hanging around on windswept platfoms I'll have yer know!

[CostaCosta]

I think it's just a conversation filler. I'm sure i've said it before. I'm hopeless at small talk

[gumball37]

People say shit no matter what. Before I had a third I was told "oh... You have one of each now you can be done" Umm... Yeah... I still want a third.

[Greydrapex]

It’s crazy, boys are lovely as are girls. I’ve got two boys and a girl . I’d have been quite happy with 3 boys! I think women especially have this idea that they’ll do lots of girly things and mum/daughter shopping trips etc. In reality it’s not always like that. My daughter has never been interested in doing anything like that!

[Peasbewithyou]

Well how ridiculous OP! But not uncommon. Everyone has an opinion don’t they!?

I have 2 DD and when I was pregnant with DC3 I had so many comments about how we must be hoping for a boy, especially how DH must want a boy! In actual fact DH was totally ambivalent about whether the baby was a boy or a girl. I did have a slight preference for a boy (although I would have been ecstatic with a girl too) because I had always had this feeling that I would have a son but either way DC3 would have been our last baby! We wanted 3 children, no matter what their sex! In the event it was a boy and I had people telling me how lucky I was that we finally had our boy. Well of course we are so lucky because he is absolutely gorgeous and I love him to bits but not because he happens to be male!

[goose1964]

I have 2 boys and a girl. The only person who said I get you're glad to have a girl was my mother in law. I realise that may make her sound awful but she could only have one child . My daughter was much harder than my boys although we're now good friends as well as mother and daughter. She has 3 boys and never wanted a girl. She says she gets comments about having a fourth.

[YoyoRiot]

To those people who sympathise about not having one of each - get real.

In the sybling's case, same sex is best more often that not. One of each is for the parents.

[Winterwoollies]

I’d love a pack of sons, it would be wonderful!

[SerenDippitty]

I can sort of understand when someone without kids says it - they don’t understand that you love and worship your child regardless of anything - what they look like / their character / disabilities / what they like or dislike.... none of this stuff really matters because of your fundamental love for your child. So I can kind of see before you experience this you could think “oh if i had 2 the same Id be a bit gutted”

I couldn't have kids and I would have been over the moon with a healthy child whatever the sex. I wouldn't dream of saying to anyone you must have been disappointed not to have had a boy/girl.

[Purpletigers]

Boys are fab . I have one of each and if I had been lucky enough to have a third I would have liked another boy .
Having said that I’m from a farming background and boys are the desired sex because of old fashioned passing the land onto the eldest son crap . My sil has three girls and a boy and would have had another baby if the 4th had been another girl .

[Purpletigers]

And to get my one of each I’ve suffered miscarriage, premature birth and secondary infertility. I didn’t give their sex a second thought . I just wanted a baby .

[Dinomum2]

I had this a lot, it was so upsetting at the time . I had people tell me they were gutted when I told them I was expecting a second boy. It really contributed to my pre/postnatal depression. I am so happy with my two boys, I don't want a third but if I did it wouldn't be for a girl.

[Mumoflittles]

I have 2 DS and just had my 3rd a DD and all we got before we found out the gender was "what if its another boy" "you need a girl" when in actual fact I really didnt care and would have been equally happy with another boy. I was actually quite shocked at a comment a friend (who has 2 DD's) made to me when we found out it was a girl, "finally, 3rd time lucky" I found that really awful and upsetting actually.

[ProudMarys]

I've always liked the idea of two boys but would of been happy with two girls or one of each as long as they arrive safely that's all that matters. Both my boys are very affectionate and yes typical rough and tumble but very loving. Have actually had people saying I'm glad I've got a daughter because they are the mums best friend for life. I'm fine that my son's won't be my best friend they have their own best friends, I'm their mum. I find it a bit odd some mums expect their daughters to be their best friend. I really enjoy being a boy mum to two lovely sons.

[UnholyStramash]

I have 4 sons, all in their 20s now. I loved it so much when they were little. I’ve never really wanted a daughter (or 4 of them!) but people have talked bollocks to me before like that - I find it strange that people are so interested in what I don’t have. We haven’t missed out on the crises - there have been LOTS with my 4 - but it’s great having 4 sons.

[Lucytwosie]

I have girls and have been told it's more special to have a boy as they love their mother more!!

[Ohwowanother]

I have 3 boys and I got this loads while pregnant. We went for a private gender scan as we wanted to find out as a family. I was hoping to have another boy for many different reasons but would have been just as happy to have a girl. The amount of people who asked if I was disappointed was unreal. I think only my best friend and my sister in law really understood that I was actually elated to have another boy. People still ask me if we will have another to have a girl. NO, I LOVE MY BOYS I DON’T WANT ANOTHER CHILD

[rayoflightboy]

I’d love a pack of sons, it would be wonderful!

You can have 1 of mine,i have 5

Seriously you have to have an answer ready.If they are rude enough to say something,you can be rude back.

I have 2 adult sons and 3 younger sons.

And i have heard it all.

[Claliscool]

I've got a boy and a girl and been pitied because they won't ever get on!!

[jessstan2]

People are so insensitive, pay no attention.