To feel so fed up people feel sorry for me I only have boys?

[Isit2021yetplease]

Just that really - I’ve got two DS. They are amazing - and completely chalk and cheese from each other. Whether I wanted girls or not is irrelevant- the fact is I have 2 amazing boys and you get what you get!
I’ve had so many passing comments from people with things like “I’d be so dissapointed not to Have a daughter” “so you’re going for number 3 to finally get a girl?” “How did you feel when the second was a boy?”
I don’t know what they hope to gain from it - that I’ll say - yes I’m gutted I don’t have a girl? Thanks for bringing it up?
If I was hoping for a girl all they do is reenforce the disappointment, and it I wasn’t hoping for a girl I don’t see why I have to constantly justify why I’m perfectly happy with my two happy healthy children.

Just needed a rant after a conversation with a friend today (when musing on a 3rd said - oh but would it be worth the risk, what if you got another boy?)
Does anyone else get this?

[UnholyStramash]

@Ohwowanother, I too was thrilled with my 3rd and 4th sons. With #4 I actively wanted him to be a boy.

Yes, I agree with @rayoflightboy, you do need a rude answer ready. It was incredible what people thought they could say to me about ‘all those boys’. At some point these rude comments stopped. Some people will be surprised if I say I’ve 4 sons, but the rudeness seems to have stopped.

[Colom]

My granny was on her deathbed and a bit confused. She couldn't remember how many children I had/what sex so she asked me. When I said two girls she looked at me mournfully and said "don't worry, you'll have a boy the next time". There she was in her final days and she was feeling genuinely sad and sorry for me that I "only" had girls. I burst out laughing, it broke the morbid atmosphere for sure

[LettyBriggs]

I’m guilty of thinking it. I’d never verbalise it however. I only ever wanted a girl so it’s just projection on my part. That said, people comment to me all the time, particular the mums of multiple boys, how easy one girl must be. I laugh off but certainly right now, it is very easy. I’m sure the teenage years will be very different.

[FizzFan]

I've got two boys and never really had any of this to be honest. In fact, I can't ever remember anyone commenting on it at all.

This. The only thing that bugged me when they were small was if I was out with my sister and her (then) 2 kids, me 2 boys, her 1 of each, random people would ask me if I was going to have more, no one asked her.

Guess which of us went on to have a third? Clue - it wasn’t me!

People are twats OP who open their mouths and talk shite for the sake of it. Boys and girls are both amazing and as you say can be like chalk and cheese even if they are the same sex, it’s so not a big deal what sex people are. I adore my boys and have never wished one of them was a girl. If I’d had 2 girls I’d adore them and never wished one of them was a boy! We love what we have :)

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Who decided one of each was the perfect result? Or does it come from the old "one to keep (DD) and one to give away (DS)"? Or as my Grandma tol me that my Great Grandma said.... you have have boys to work and girls to love :(

[1forAll74]

Some people do say such rubbish as this,but you have to feel sorry for them,for being stupid and mindless people.

[stopchewingeverything]

A colleague said to me at my baby shower that she 'hoped for my sake it was a girl'. Could not be happier with my DS, he is a delight!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

:o:o:o

Wrong audience there lovey!!

[Topseyt]

I have three DDs and I also got this.

I took to tackling them directly. One woman who actually ran our local parent and toddler group actually said "Oh what a shame!" when I was pregnant with DD3 and had just been told at my 20 week scan that it would be another girl.

My response was to stare directly at her and loudly ask her "Why is it a shame precisely?" I had already worked out that I would do that if I got that sort of response because I would just refuse to put up with it. She went bright red, stuttered, and got rather flustered, and then just subsided into embarrassed silence. I had no sympathy for her at all.

People are so twatty sometimes, and talk through their arses.

[Blursula]

Yep. I had my second DS a week ago. The midwife insisted I wouldn’t stop at two because I had two boys and would try again for a girl. Even when I told people at 20 weeks it was another boy I had people asking if I’d ‘try again for a girl’. Even someone serving me in Sainsbury’s asked what I was having and then rolled her eyes and groaned when I said boy.

My DH insists that people wrongly assume women want girls and men want boys. Nobody has ever expressed disappointment to him about having two DS.

It also really pisses me off when people have one of each and proudly say how their family is now ‘complete’, as if only having one sex is seen as incomplete.

[PyongyangKipperbang]

I had comments about it not mattering which sex the third baby was because it just meant someone was going to be outnumbered!

I have said this. Not in reference to the baby's sex but just about being outnumbered.....seriously, its a thing! When they catch on that there is more of them than you, you've had it :o

[PyongyangKipperbang]

And I say that as a mother of 6....no I dont learn

[PyongyangKipperbang]

And just realised I misread it, I thought you mean they outnumber you, not each other, which is fucking ridiculous.

[Feellikethegrimreaper]

I have 3 boys and people always say it! More so with number 3. I secretly wanted a girl but never said it out loud so it wasnt as though people knew. But when I found out number 3 was a boy SIL said "oh I'm gutted for you, that's so annoying." And MIL said "oh never mind"

I also always get "are you going to have a 4th to try for a girl?"

[mrsBtheparker]

My daughter was told numerous times when she had a boy after two girls Oh you must be so pleased to have a boy. No, they were pleased to have a healthy baby!

[JellyNo15]

I hear you. I have two amazing adult sons. I came from a family of three daughters and no boys and now I have a granddaughter. I used to get very cross with people who would like at my beautiful DS2 and say, " Oh shame you didn't have a girl, still maybe next time. " They would get a flea in their ear from me. Sex is irrelevant, love and health are what matters, pull them up on their comments is my advice.

[Poetryinaction]

People are so weird. 2 boys is such a likely combination, not unusual at all. There is no real benefit to having a mix of sexes, it's all made up. No real reason why siblings of different sexes should get on better or worse with each other or you, or behave in any certain way.
I would love 2 boys, or 3 boys, just as much as I love having my one boy and 2 girls.

[Justjoshin22]

People are thoughtless and I think it usually comes from a lack of conversation than spite but still annoying!
If you’d asked me pre dc I’d have said one of each would have been nice and ‘neat’ and perhaps the ‘best I’d both worlds’. of course, this is bullshit and plays into silly stereotypes!
I now have 2 dds and it’s lovely, I love that they’re the same sex. Would I feel the same about 2 ds? I hope so!! I did like the thought of a daughter but that was about my own projections / ideas about our relationship as opposed to anything else!
My mil had 2 ds and was always desperate for a girl and she was open about how much she wanted me to have one. I know she didn’t mean any harm but it was bloody annoying.

[GlumyGloomer]

Not read the whole thing so might be repeating, but I think deep down there is a base assumption that people have kids to get a 'mini-me'. So woman must want a girl, men must want a boy, if you have one of each job done and you should both be satisfied. It's ridiculous really, all babies are individuals and the sex does not determine what they will like or how the relationship will be.

[DefConOne]

As a mum of two girls I can assure you this happens with girls as well. Random strangers asking if ‘daddy is disappointed’, my mother clearly was. My brother had B/G twins and my dad told me he got the perfect family on the first attempt. So many comments and sympathy that I have two ‘the same’. And I’ll miss that special love boys have for their mums.

[BerriesAndLeaves]

With girls you get comments about when they are teenagers when apparently they will be nightmares, hog the bathroom and could get pregnant. I once asked someone wouldn't it be just as bad if a teenage son became a dad and they said it would be worse with a girl as the girls' parents would have to look after it. They are teenagers now and are nice not nightmares, they don't hog the bathroom and so far no teenage pregnancies. Fingers crossed!

[NataliaOsipova]

the mums I know who have multiple boys get this ALL the time but those with multiple girls NEVER do.

Not true - I have girls, so speak from experience! There’s possibly a bit of a ridiculous stereotype that mothers want girls and fathers want boys, so it appears that way.

When I was pregnant with DD2, my FIL openly said he wanted her to be a boy. I told him I didn’t - and that was that. (And obviously she wasn’t!). Had a lot of “oh, how are you/your DH feeling about that?” before she was born and had someone ask me the other day “oh, no sons?” in a bizarrely pitying tone!