I had mine in Australia, so, like many on here in the UK would be able to, in Oz, could afford private; thus all my antenatal care was in a private clinic with a consultant obstetrician. A patriarchal Irish bloke 😊
I was an older mum, so opted for amniocentesis for Downs, in order to prepare for the outcome, with both. Was told with DC1, no chromosomal issues, and yes, a boy.
DS1 was born, then, apart from an early MC, pregnant with DC2. Again, amino.
I went to my next appt; and this obstretrician told me no to Downs, so I asked- 'and sex?'... he said, 'Mrs Miljea, you have to demand that I tell you the sex!'... 🧐 To which I said (um)..'Yes, I demand you tell me the sex!'.
He then turned around his family phots, facing him on his desk, of him, his wife, and two sturdy late teenage boys, and said 'You're as blessed as I have been'...'it's another boy'.
I went 'Oh, great!'
Why in gods name would I have had a problem with that?
But I now know how much projection happens, how many people lay their hopes and dreams on how their relationship with their children will be, based on their own experience, and gender stereotypes, and discovered women in my post-natal mums groups still grieving the lack of a girl.
I wouldn't want to had to have parent a girl like me! .... tho, as an aside, I know I would have done a better job than my mum did, RIP. Because I, like I do with my now very young adult sons, recognise there isn't one size, that fits all. That those stereotypes are not chains.
So I didn't fit many girl gender stereotypes, but I was far from wild or confrontational, far from it.
But if my mum had 'wanted a girl' (to merge into those stereotypes), I may have disappointed 😂
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