Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH insisted I come shopping and then basically chinned me off..

138 replies

Emyem · 04/07/2020 13:56

DH announced a couple of days ago that we're all getting the train to nearby shopping district today with his eldest two to go shopping for birthday presents.

He said he wanted himself, me and our two to go, collect the older kids then gets the train.

Yesterday he then asks If my DM would mind minding our two for a couple of hours so we can go without the pram.

DM jumped at the chance as she hasn't seen much of the babies since lockdown.

We collect his eldest and get the train to the shopping district and within 5 minutes of arriving he tells me to go off and do my own thing for a bit, bare in mind I didn't need anything and only came because he insisted.

If he wanted to spend some time with the eldest alone then why insist we, and then I, come in the first place.

He wanted me to wander round aimlessly until they had finished shopping then to meet back up.

I think it was rude and I'm pissed off at having wasted my day when in all honesty I would've rather stayed home in the first place and only came because he asked me to.

I'm having a sulk coffee now and feel like getting the train home and leaving him to it. I don't want to meet back up with him because I'm in a foul mood and don't want his kids to pick up on it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TinyPigeon · 04/07/2020 13:58

Do you have a birthday coming up?

Justmuddlingalong · 04/07/2020 13:58

I'd bugger off home on the train too. 💐

GinDaddyRedux · 04/07/2020 13:59

wow

Randomness12 · 04/07/2020 13:59

YANBU that’s really shit of him. I’d meet up as planned for the sake of his kids, then when you get home ask him exactly he needed to drag you along to ditch you!

Original poster
Emyem · 04/07/2020 14:00

I don't have a birthday coming up no, one of his other kids have.

Before anybody wonders whether I was intruding I want to reiterate again that me coming was entirely his idea

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 04/07/2020 14:01

Unless he is getting you a surprise of some sort then he is out of order.

FishyMcFishyfingersFace · 04/07/2020 14:02

Go home, send him a text telling him you are going if you want to. Don't let him push you around next time he insists on something like this.

If I were you I'd buy myself something nice to have for yourself while you have the house to yourself, then get dh to pick up your younger dcs on his way home so you don't need to interrupt your relaxing afternoon.

Andahelterskelterroundmylittle · 04/07/2020 14:05

Get shopping or head home.. downright rude

Widdlywoo2u · 04/07/2020 14:09

Maybe he’s getting you something nice as a surprise?

MaeDanvers · 04/07/2020 14:09

Maybe he is buying you a present? Would that be the sort of thing he might do?

romeolovedjulliet · 04/07/2020 14:09

i'd have gone home, what an idiot.

Original poster
Emyem · 04/07/2020 14:09

He's definitely not buying me a present

OP posts:
CuppaZa · 04/07/2020 14:11

I’d go straight home if that was me. Cheeky fucker

3cats · 04/07/2020 14:11

That's really rude. I'd be annoyed as heck too.

StuffThem · 04/07/2020 14:12

I would either go for the nicest lunch/cake/look around a park or museum that i could find that I would really enjoy, or go home if I'd prefer that. I'd definitely be suiting myself not him.

MaltbyMaeve · 04/07/2020 14:13

Why don’t you just go home?

Thatnameistaken · 04/07/2020 14:13

Yup, I'd be on the next train home and enjoy a relaxing afternoon with a book.

Liveandforget · 04/07/2020 14:14

Are there other issues in your marriage? He sounds inconsiderate of your time, patronising (shooing you away), and rude.

I bet he's spending hugely on his dc and doesn't want you to know.

sitckmansladylove · 04/07/2020 14:15

I would go home. Unless he feels you needed to get out of the house (ie a cheering up but then he would spend the day with you??) Very strange

billy1966 · 04/07/2020 14:15

Head off home. Twat.

I hate shopping and I loathe shopping centres.

PinkiOcelot · 04/07/2020 14:15

I’d be away home.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 04/07/2020 14:20

Unless he is getting you a surprise of some sort then he is out of order.

But then why insist OP comes at all? Perfect opportunity to take the elder ones out for the day and buy OP a surprise rather than drag her along and then ditch her!

CanaryFish · 04/07/2020 14:20

Is he trying to subtly get you to buy the kids a surprise?? Was he trying to give you a “day off” because if you were home without the kids you’d end up doing housework? Maybe he genuinely thinks he’s giving you a fun afternoon of looking around the shops with kids in tow or something. I’d be inclined to ring him and say you’re gonna head home now unless there was something specific he needed you to wait for (and then it’s up to you if it’s worth sticking around for )

StoneCold316 · 04/07/2020 14:22

Just go home if you don’t want to be there. I would

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 04/07/2020 14:23

I'd go home and i'd be having words with him about that tonight and then I would never go shopping with him again. How fucking rude!