DH insisted I come shopping and then basically chinned me off..

[Emyem]

DH announced a couple of days ago that we're all getting the train to nearby shopping district today with his eldest two to go shopping for birthday presents.

He said he wanted himself, me and our two to go, collect the older kids then gets the train.

Yesterday he then asks If my DM would mind minding our two for a couple of hours so we can go without the pram.

DM jumped at the chance as she hasn't seen much of the babies since lockdown.

We collect his eldest and get the train to the shopping district and within 5 minutes of arriving he tells me to go off and do my own thing for a bit, bare in mind I didn't need anything and only came because he insisted.

If he wanted to spend some time with the eldest alone then why insist we, and then I, come in the first place.

He wanted me to wander round aimlessly until they had finished shopping then to meet back up.

I think it was rude and I'm pissed off at having wasted my day when in all honesty I would've rather stayed home in the first place and only came because he asked me to.

I'm having a sulk coffee now and feel like getting the train home and leaving him to it. I don't want to meet back up with him because I'm in a foul mood and don't want his kids to pick up on it.

AIBU?

[FelicisNox]

So fucking rude.

I hope you went home?

[AdobeWanKenobi]

@Barney60

Go home. Men are arses at times.

I think at this point she may have been home a while...

[Barney60]

Go home. Men are arses at times.

[Nofunkingworriesmate]

Perfect example of how a pre outing chat
And then another communication
during the outing would have avoided all the angst

Just talk ffs

[Strawberry33]

I think his eldest has had a quiet word and moaned about you being there. He has not really been able to keep you both happy and decided the kid comes first. Still annoying for you though

[LannieDuck]

The whole thing is weird.

• Why insist you go with him at all? Why did he need you there?
• Great that he bought a gift you wanted for your birthday, but why not save it ... to give you to on your birthday??
• Why does he get to decide when you need a break? I'm sure you're capable of saying so for yourself.

[Bibijayne]

OP, I feel for you. Glad it was a sweet thing, but understand your frustration.

My lovely DH does this. He decides to do a nice thing, but in an awkward way that it's really unclear what he is doing. Like, yes it is nice you have decided to take DS for a couple of hours in an evening - but perhaps tell me that and I can then do something instead of sitting like a lemon twiddling my thumbs wondering what is up.

I have a suspicion that some men have taken the idea of romantic or sweet surprises from cheesy RomComs and don't realise that lots of women prefer to have some communication beforehand :)

[StoneCold316]

@Lockdownsucks

I think its 'binned' off, not chinned off.....

It’s definitely chinned off where I’m from

[dogloverx]

This has made me really chuckle as It is definitely something I would do, I'd be texting all my friends ranting about him too i suppose men don't think like we do his intentions were good just a misunderstanding jesus some comments defo isn't an issue in your marriage and he said sorry my partner would of probably called me a brat lucky girl with the bag enjoy x

[jessstan2]

I'm glad he bought you a nice bag. Love bags!

[MaeDanvers]

Aw glad it was something nice after all even if the method was a bit off! Enjoy the lovely new bag and the rest of your weekend.

[notthemum]

Tis a very nice bag OP.

[borntohula]

Haha classic Mumsnet... the guy's done something nice and he's still a lying twat, he must be because men, right!?

[Emyem]

No it's definitely chinned off. Perhaps it's a regional thing.

[Lockdownsucks]

I think its 'binned' off, not chinned off.....

[Emyem]

I pointed it out as something I wouldn't mind for my birthday

[BeautifulCrazy]

I suspect it's an excuse to make you feel guilty because he knew he’d treated you badly by fucking off by himself with the kids (he had not intended to give it to you today)

Maybe. I think only OP will be able to judge that. If he’s usually a considerate, nice husband then he’s probably telling the truth. If he’s usually a selfish arse then maybe it’s an excuse.

I like the bag OP.

[ilikemethewayiam]

Awwww, bless him. His heart was in the right place even if he went about it in the wrong way. And he apologised! Nice one! Sorry if I missed it earlier but did you point out the bag to him previously or did he choose it. It’s really nice, I like it!

[gamerchick]

So it isn't my birthday present he took the opportunity to buy it for me now because we were going to the shopping centre and he wanted to treat me to something nic

Aye.

Once I was late for work (again) years ago and new I'd get my arse kicked. So I stopped off and bought her a birthday card because luckily it was her birthday.

Guess who didn't get her arse kicked?

Be firm about your expectations for th future so he doesn't pull the same stunt again.

[Emyem]

Mind the crushed velvet bedding Its my thing

[Alsohuman]

Enjoy your bag and ignore the cynics who insist on seeing the worst in everyone and everything.

[pictish]

Yes we need to know.
I love a good bag.

[AMCoffeePMWine]

Yes, show us the bag, or post a link to it. Inquiring minds need to know.

[back2good]

Enjoy your bag and be glad you didn't tell him off in your text.

[Heidi1976]

@Heidi1976

Why would he invite you along if you weren't providing anything to him (a lift, money, spend quality time with, etc any reason why would you would be required to be there!) Then shoo you off? It just makes no sense? Unless he just gets a kick out of wasting your time and making life difficult for you?

I've just read to the end....ignore this post!! ha