DH insisted I come shopping and then basically chinned me off..

[Emyem]

DH announced a couple of days ago that we're all getting the train to nearby shopping district today with his eldest two to go shopping for birthday presents.

He said he wanted himself, me and our two to go, collect the older kids then gets the train.

Yesterday he then asks If my DM would mind minding our two for a couple of hours so we can go without the pram.

DM jumped at the chance as she hasn't seen much of the babies since lockdown.

We collect his eldest and get the train to the shopping district and within 5 minutes of arriving he tells me to go off and do my own thing for a bit, bare in mind I didn't need anything and only came because he insisted.

If he wanted to spend some time with the eldest alone then why insist we, and then I, come in the first place.

He wanted me to wander round aimlessly until they had finished shopping then to meet back up.

I think it was rude and I'm pissed off at having wasted my day when in all honesty I would've rather stayed home in the first place and only came because he asked me to.

I'm having a sulk coffee now and feel like getting the train home and leaving him to it. I don't want to meet back up with him because I'm in a foul mood and don't want his kids to pick up on it.

AIBU?

[NoSquirrels]

Well, whether he got it today cos he sensed you were annoyed, or whether he was going to do it all along, a) you’ve got the bag you wanted and b) he’s either noticed you were cross & fixed it quickly or was just being thoughtful in the first place.

Win-win-win.

[Emyem]

I've told him I was seriously annoyed at the way he went about it as it spoilt my day, he said he understands that and is sorry

[Emyem]

Yes alls well that ends well. I bloody love the bag

[magicstar1]

It sounds like he was trying to do a nice thing, but went about it arseways. You’re the only one here who knows him OP, none of the people saying he only did it because you caught him out know if he’s like that.
Enjoy the bag!

[pictish]

Make sure you get a present on the day too mind.

[FizzyGreenWater]

Yep bag doesn't change twatty antics.

In fact, it's not beyond realms of possibility that bag was bought precisely to deflect from other spending. Glad OP still had words.

[LillianBland]

Oh, that’s a lovely end to a day that started shity. I’m very happy for you, OP. Now, you have to show the bag or I’ll tell everyone you’re a troll... granted, you wouldn’t be a very good one, but meh. 🤷‍♀️

[Thinkingabout1t]

I'm glad there was a happy ending! But poor DH, trying to give you a nice surprise and it went wrong. Maybe give him some sort of treat tomorrow and you'll both feel good. Enjoy the handbag!

[LegitSnack]

Can we see the bag?

[LegitSnack]

Can we see the bag?

[pictish]

Yes...show us the bag!

[BumbleBeee69]

I call bullshit OP.... he's realised toot sharp that he's fucked up.. and has presented your beautiful birthday gift months early... very calculating... enjoy your bag though

[Heidi1976]

Why would he invite you along if you weren't providing anything to him (a lift, money, spend quality time with, etc any reason why would you would be required to be there!) Then shoo you off? It just makes no sense? Unless he just gets a kick out of wasting your time and making life difficult for you?

[Heidi1976]

@Heidi1976

Why would he invite you along if you weren't providing anything to him (a lift, money, spend quality time with, etc any reason why would you would be required to be there!) Then shoo you off? It just makes no sense? Unless he just gets a kick out of wasting your time and making life difficult for you?

I've just read to the end....ignore this post!! ha

[back2good]

Enjoy your bag and be glad you didn't tell him off in your text.

[AMCoffeePMWine]

Yes, show us the bag, or post a link to it. Inquiring minds need to know.

[pictish]

Yes we need to know.
I love a good bag.

[Alsohuman]

Enjoy your bag and ignore the cynics who insist on seeing the worst in everyone and everything.

[Emyem]

Mind the crushed velvet bedding Its my thing

[gamerchick]

So it isn't my birthday present he took the opportunity to buy it for me now because we were going to the shopping centre and he wanted to treat me to something nic

Aye.

Once I was late for work (again) years ago and new I'd get my arse kicked. So I stopped off and bought her a birthday card because luckily it was her birthday.

Guess who didn't get her arse kicked?

Be firm about your expectations for th future so he doesn't pull the same stunt again.

[ilikemethewayiam]

Awwww, bless him. His heart was in the right place even if he went about it in the wrong way. And he apologised! Nice one! Sorry if I missed it earlier but did you point out the bag to him previously or did he choose it. It’s really nice, I like it!

[BeautifulCrazy]

I suspect it's an excuse to make you feel guilty because he knew he’d treated you badly by fucking off by himself with the kids (he had not intended to give it to you today)

Maybe. I think only OP will be able to judge that. If he’s usually a considerate, nice husband then he’s probably telling the truth. If he’s usually a selfish arse then maybe it’s an excuse.

I like the bag OP.

[Emyem]

I pointed it out as something I wouldn't mind for my birthday

[Lockdownsucks]

I think its 'binned' off, not chinned off.....

[Emyem]

No it's definitely chinned off. Perhaps it's a regional thing.