DH insisted I come shopping and then basically chinned me off..

[Emyem]

DH announced a couple of days ago that we're all getting the train to nearby shopping district today with his eldest two to go shopping for birthday presents.

He said he wanted himself, me and our two to go, collect the older kids then gets the train.

Yesterday he then asks If my DM would mind minding our two for a couple of hours so we can go without the pram.

DM jumped at the chance as she hasn't seen much of the babies since lockdown.

We collect his eldest and get the train to the shopping district and within 5 minutes of arriving he tells me to go off and do my own thing for a bit, bare in mind I didn't need anything and only came because he insisted.

If he wanted to spend some time with the eldest alone then why insist we, and then I, come in the first place.

He wanted me to wander round aimlessly until they had finished shopping then to meet back up.

I think it was rude and I'm pissed off at having wasted my day when in all honesty I would've rather stayed home in the first place and only came because he asked me to.

I'm having a sulk coffee now and feel like getting the train home and leaving him to it. I don't want to meet back up with him because I'm in a foul mood and don't want his kids to pick up on it.

AIBU?

Very rude of him, total waste of your time

@Emyem

I finished my coffee had a wander round M&S then left to go home I'll be having words when he gets back.

Good for you!

Good for you going home OP. Wasting your day like that, why did he even bother asking you to go knowing he was going to bugger off with his child. Its just plain weird and very rude

TBH I'd enjoy a coffee, some lunch and a browse child and husband free. Win win.

Does he have a birthday coming up? Bit of a reach but maybe he expected you to shop for a present for him (or shop for a present for his child?) which is why he sent you off alone? Bloody odd though

Even if it’s a half assed attempt at giving OP some time off from the younger DC it’s really crappy communication.

The fact he insisted though then sacked you off I’d be asking very strong WTF when you’ve calmed down.

Glad you’ve headed home.

Are you ok *@Emyem? I hope it is for a nice reason he has done all this.

Well done op. I’d have fucked off home too, what an absolute tool!!! In actual fact, I’d be going hone, ordering/collecting whatever I fancied, opening a bottle of wine, putting my feet up and watching something good in the tv (extra points for watching something he’s been wanting to watch!!!) and when they come in id tell him to go off into another room and do “his own thing” because you’re having some me time!

Why on earth would be do this?! Absolutely fucking ridiculous and I feel enraged on your behalf!!! Tell him from me he’s a complete prick!

Pp’s - I’m a lone shopper to, but op didn’t want to go fucking shopping and is only there at his insistence - you are missing the point!!

Bet you are the baddie for abandoning them.

Glad you've gone home OP.. he's a Prick

Good on you OP. I agree that on the face of it it seems pretty rude to arrange an outing with someone then ditch them as soon as you get there.

I too think he just wanted company for the journey.

I’d be having words too.

That is really odd- Please let us know his reason when you speak to him!

Well he's home.

He was buying me something after all. He got me a handbag I'd been hinting at wanting for my birthday in a couple of months.

Oh bollocks. I feel bad

He was going to present it to me when we met back up, except I had gone home

Thank fuck I didn't give him a piece of my mind via text as I was going

It was obvious he'd split up to buy you a present but still thought you'd like a day out shopping.

What is 'chinning off'?

I’m still struggling to understand why we wanted you to come though? If he knew he was buying you a present and didn’t want you there, why was you to be there? The present would have still been a surprise if you were sat at home when he gave you it, rather than when you met back up after he’s had a lovely day with his kids and you’ve been Billy no mates all day. The birthday present was nice but doesn’t invalidate leaving you on your own after insisting you come. Imo anyway.

Ahhh right. No idea why you had to go...but still, new bag!

He said he thought I'd enjoy being able to go shopping child free and having some me-time hence suggesting my DM mind our two.

His intentions were good but the deliverance was misguided.

Why would he give your birthday present today if your birthday is a couple of months away? I suspect it's an excuse to make you feel guilty because he knew he’d treated you badly by fucking off by himself with the kids (he had not intended to give it to you today)

Chinning off is another term for leaving the person you're with

I wanted the bag for my birthday but he got it for me today "just because"

So it isn't my birthday present he took the opportunity to buy it for me now because we were going to the shopping centre and he wanted to treat me to something nice

@EatsShootsAndRuns

Why would he give your birthday present today if your birthday is a couple of months away? I suspect it's an excuse to make you feel guilty because he knew he’d treated you badly by fucking off by himself with the kids (he had not intended to give it to you today)

Possibly but I've no way of knowing now

Why on earth did husband insist on you going and then not want to be with you? It makes no sense at all unless he was planning a surprise for you - in which case there was no reason for you to go in the first place.

I don't blame you for being pissed off. Demand an explanation.

Does he understand it was a really shit way to go about it? You either didn't need to be there and he'd present you with it at home or you could have gone to the shop with him and him surprise you buying it