DH insisted I come shopping and then basically chinned me off..

[Emyem]

DH announced a couple of days ago that we're all getting the train to nearby shopping district today with his eldest two to go shopping for birthday presents.

He said he wanted himself, me and our two to go, collect the older kids then gets the train.

Yesterday he then asks If my DM would mind minding our two for a couple of hours so we can go without the pram.

DM jumped at the chance as she hasn't seen much of the babies since lockdown.

We collect his eldest and get the train to the shopping district and within 5 minutes of arriving he tells me to go off and do my own thing for a bit, bare in mind I didn't need anything and only came because he insisted.

If he wanted to spend some time with the eldest alone then why insist we, and then I, come in the first place.

He wanted me to wander round aimlessly until they had finished shopping then to meet back up.

I think it was rude and I'm pissed off at having wasted my day when in all honesty I would've rather stayed home in the first place and only came because he asked me to.

I'm having a sulk coffee now and feel like getting the train home and leaving him to it. I don't want to meet back up with him because I'm in a foul mood and don't want his kids to pick up on it.

AIBU?

[PlanDeRaccordement]

I don’t know. To me this would be a nice favour if my DH did this. I think I’d prefer to walk around the shops on my own without a man in tow plus his two older children. No hurrying through the shops I want to go in. No lingering and trying not to look bored in the shops they want to go in. No guilt if I need a toilet and have to trek back the way I came or just want to sit in a coffee shop and people watch.

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

I’ll be honest, it really wouldn’t bother me in the slightest because I am very much a lone shopper

I prefer lone shopping. It's crystal clear to me here though that he sold it to the OP as them both shoppi g together. Lots of "we", getting the dc minded so "we" can go without the buggy etc.

[Roasties89]

Why didn't you say no it's ok I'll come with you two?

[GCAcademic]

Go and buy fuck loads of stuff. Have a massive blow out (you can always return it at a later date). Meet up with him later, beaming, tell him it was a brilliant idea to leave you to it, up you managed to get much more shopping done on your own.

[DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou]

Fuck that.
I'd be going home.

[Quarantimespringclean]

Just go home.

[ECBC]

Home, glass of wine, feet up. DH can pick up DCs on his way. Sorted 👍

[Charleyhorses]

May be he has just misread the situation? Thought you would appreciate some time alone /browsing rather than watch his kids choose presents? Why not just message him and arrange to meet now?

[ilikemethewayiam]

I would be very pissed off at this. I’d rather have teeth pulled than go shopping. Getting dragged along to something I hate then get told to sod off while they do their thing would put me in a really foul mood too OP. Wondering aimlessly around a noisy shopping centre when you don’t need anything is tortuous. Text him that you’re off home, then have words with him later. Ask him why he thought wasting hours of your life that you’ll never get back is acceptable. If he knew you well he would know it’s not your thing.

[NailsNeedDoing]

Sod that OP, go home!

[Bluesheep8]

Why would he insist she went with them if he's buying her a surprise?

[Feedingthebirds1]

To me this would be a nice favour if my DH did this.

If he'd said why don't you go and have a mooch round the shops on your own, have a break - before they even set off so she had a choice, fine. But not insisting she goes along, sending the DCs to her mum's, and then telling her to get lost when they get there isn't the same thing.

OP what's he like generally? Does he always issue edicts that you all have to follow or is this a one off?

[Itsjustabitofbanter]

Have you gonna home op?

[RandomMess]

I really don't get why he asked you to do? Is it to put on social media that you both took his DC, something to do with showing off to his ex 🤷🏽‍♀️

I would just go home and tell him to pick up the little ones on his way back.

[gamerchick]

Hope you went home. He can collect the kids when he drops off. Have a bit of to yourself time and have a stern chat when he gets back
Cheeky git.

[rebecca102]

I would love this haha

[fizzpopbang123]

Sounds to me like he just wanted company on the train journey there and back, and/or so he didn't have to parent his kids on his own on public transport.

[MrsMcCarthysFamousScones]

@fizzpopbang123

Sounds to me like he just wanted company on the train journey there and back, and/or so he didn't have to parent his kids on his own on public transport.

That’s what I was thinking.

[diddl]

I'm also not interested in shopping.

Would rather have had a lie in whilst he took the kids to mum's & then got up in own time & done what wanted to!

[NoSquirrels]

Just text him & say you’d like to see your mum, so you’re going to head back early rather than hang about cos you’re not in the mood for shopping.

[Alsohuman]

@fizzpopbang123

Sounds to me like he just wanted company on the train journey there and back, and/or so he didn't have to parent his kids on his own on public transport.

How much “parenting” is needed on a short train journey? I’d be mightily pissed off to be deprived of a childfree afternoon at home with my feet up and a book.

[Emyem]

I finished my coffee had a wander round M&S then left to go home I'll be having words when he gets back.

[Sunnydayshereatlast]

Had he told mil she could have the babies without discussing it with you?

[StoneCold316]

@Emyem

I finished my coffee had a wander round M&S then left to go home I'll be having words when he gets back.

Glad you went home op. Had he given you the choice to go and wonder by yourself, you could have made a decision if you wanted to go or not. Insisting you come, only to ditch you, is out of order. I’m sure he thought it was a nice thing to do but he got it totally wrong this time!

[Devlesko]

YABU for not having a back bon and letting him insist.