DH insisted I come shopping and then basically chinned me off..

[Emyem]

DH announced a couple of days ago that we're all getting the train to nearby shopping district today with his eldest two to go shopping for birthday presents.

He said he wanted himself, me and our two to go, collect the older kids then gets the train.

Yesterday he then asks If my DM would mind minding our two for a couple of hours so we can go without the pram.

DM jumped at the chance as she hasn't seen much of the babies since lockdown.

We collect his eldest and get the train to the shopping district and within 5 minutes of arriving he tells me to go off and do my own thing for a bit, bare in mind I didn't need anything and only came because he insisted.

If he wanted to spend some time with the eldest alone then why insist we, and then I, come in the first place.

He wanted me to wander round aimlessly until they had finished shopping then to meet back up.

I think it was rude and I'm pissed off at having wasted my day when in all honesty I would've rather stayed home in the first place and only came because he asked me to.

I'm having a sulk coffee now and feel like getting the train home and leaving him to it. I don't want to meet back up with him because I'm in a foul mood and don't want his kids to pick up on it.

AIBU?

[justasking111]

Well I would enjoy solo time, shopping with DH is hell.

[Disfordarkchocolate]

I'd go and see your Mum and leave him to it.

[MitziK]

Maybe it was a hamfisted attempt at giving you some time on your own?

[Immigrantsong]

OP go home and leave him there. Life is too small to do things that you don't enjoy.

[Laiste]

Is this out of character for him?

I mean if this were DH i would be happily having a coffee knowing they were doing something or buying something as a surprise before coming to find me.

If this is not the case for you. This is no way to be treated.

[Treacletoots]

My exH used to do this, he couldn't stand shopping for anything that didn't interest him and ditched me as soon as we went anywhere.

He's the ex for a reason the selfish twunt

[Notcontent]

To me it sounds like he was trying to create a “happy families” type scenario but then for some reason decided you would just be in the way... That’s really poor behaviour. Imagine if it was the other way around. I hope this is just a one off and he is not always like that.

[LouiseTrees]

Text him and tell him you actually don’t need anything and to say why did he ask you to come if he doesn’t want you around and that you are having your coffee but then you are headed home. Tell him there’s no rush and you are totally fine with him spending alone time with the eldest but you don’t just want to be plodding about alone.

[Cornishclio]

I would go home if you don't want to wander round on your own. Yes he was rude and I would be having words with him later to ask him what the point of him asking you was.

[Crinkle77]

WTF? I would have refused or just told him you were going home. There must be a back story here.

[Mummyshark2019]

Go home. What a dick.

[tara66]

One can buy everything on line anyway.

[vanillandhoney]

Christ, just go home. He's a dick.

[Teacher12345]

God I would love to go shopping on my own right now!
Obviously OP this is not what you wanted so I'd text him and say you have stuff to do at home and will see him there.

[OfTheNight]

Maybe they’re getting you a surprise gift or something? What did you say when he asked you to go off on your own?

[draughtycatflap]

Have a nice slice of cake then treat yourself to a big ‘fuck off twat I am worth it prezzie’. Then flaunt it in the ignorant git’s face when you meet up.

[diddl]

So it went from you & him, 2 of his & your 2, to you, him & 1 of his?

Sounds as if the 2 of them might as well have gone together-when did he know that it would just be the 3 of you?

Hope you're on your way home!

[atomicblonde30]

I’d go home and let him pick up the younger two later. Cheeky twat.

[FizzyGreenWater]

Bloody hell yes I'd go home.

And I'd text him in a totally blase manner when I was on the train. 'Oh by the way...'

That's really rude and very odd.

[Emyem]

I bet he's spending hugely on his dc and doesn't want you to know.

Ahh I think this is what it is. It just clicked when I read that.

The thing is I wouldn't bat an eye so he has been needlessly rude.

We are saving to move but still, spending for DSS birthday doesn't factor into that and he's free to treat them to whatever he likes

[BeautifulCrazy]

I’d just go home.

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

I hope you are going to ask him to explain himself later.

Why ask you along at all to then send you away? What a waste of a babysitter.

[Topseyt]

If it bothers you then just go home. Spend some time with your mother without him.

I’ll be honest, it really wouldn’t bother me in the slightest because I am very much a lone shopper. On the odd occasion I do end up in a town or shopping area with DH or our DDs we all split up and go off to do our own thing. I don’t like being tied to other people when out browsing and just want to do it on my own and at my own pace. So for me it would have been bliss, and a chance to have some child free browsing time.

I guess not everyone sees it that way though. Some people see shopping as a social event. I don’t.

[BrandyandBabycham]

Definitely talk to him

[Lollypop4]

Has he made a poor communication error But is encouraging you to have time to yourself?
I had to go food shopping last week, we have 4DC , Im a SAHM and with lockdown, obviously little time on my own. DH works ft, varying shift work amd when is home is a good support, but as I left to food shop, He did say "do Not rush back, go for a leisurely shop/walk/coffee"
Maybe Your DH has this intention?