At 39 weeks pregnant would you be happy with this?

[Cigarhands]

My boyfriend has just informed me that 8 days before the due date of our son (first baby) he is going to Manchester to help his elderly Grandma move house. Manchester is around 1.5 hours from our house. I've said this is daft, and someone else needs to help, he argues he will be home within 1.5 hours if I need him, the odds are I won't go into labour at 39 weeks and for me to go from no signs whatsoever giving birth within 1.5 hours would be very unlikely.

I'm ready to tell him he's not welcome in the delivery room at this point, whatever day it may be AIBU????

Wow there’s some really rude comments on here, whatever happened to “Be Kind” 🙄

@Cigarhands I don’t think YABU at all, I completely understand your concerns. However as a lot of people have mentioned, you may very well go overdue (I went 2 weeks!) and it’s likely to not be a quick process. Of course, that’s not always the case but the odds are in your favour.

Personally though I don’t think he is necessarily being unreasonable either, it’s a tricky situation! I would say make a back up plan in terms of a birth partner and getting to hospital if you can, make sure he is able to drop everything and get back to you if need be, and try not to worry too much. I hope it all goes well for you

If you go into labour and call him, will he be able to come straight home? Or will his grandmother be left with a half packed van and her old cock linnet and locked out of her old home?

Would he at that point need to call round 4 cousins and a mate, all of whom would be fishing an hour away or driving a van to the other end of the country?

I’d say the chances of going into labour a week before your due date are quite strong. It’s usual for a larger to need to be 1.5 hours away but you need to know he can drop everything and run if he gets the call.

@comeby yes he can drop everything, after reading comments on here last night about any problems pps had foreseen we devised a plan. He has a car available there and the other 2 movers can carry on and bring the van back and he can hurry home if needs be (and hopefully have no traffic!!!!) and he will keep his phone on VERY LOUD.

If there are two other people helping why is he so essential in the first place?

What about your back up plan for someone near you who could drop everything to be with you until he gets back?

@AnotherEmma one of them is a 13 year old boy, so whilst he can help with some things, he cant lift the heavier items, which there isnt many of and they will start with at the beginning.

Luckily have a couple of people who can drop everything to help me if needs be.

Really I think PPs just like the opportunity to put a pregnant woman in her place and remind her that she should be at the bottom of every priority list.

I think that's exactly what this is.

@cigarhands, I hope it all goes well. It sounds really good you've emergency contacts to call. But please don't feel as if you're being OTT for wanting him to stay around. Mumsnet can be really weird - I am sure that you could have posted the exact same thread on a different day and caught a different group of posters, and got a very different response. For some reason you just happened to hit it wrong.

Good luck with the baby.

All sounds good OP.

It shows the value of talking about your anxieties because now you have the plan to keep his phone on LOUD

Congratulations and good luck

I was still working at 39 weeks with all mine. Very, very unlikely he wouldn't make it. Let him go

Yabu. He can get back reasonably quickly and presumably his Gran would be stuck without the help.

"Luckily have a couple of people who can drop everything to help me if needs be."

👍

Also agree with Sarah's post.

Best of luck!

Sorry yes YABVU. Plenty people need to go far further than 1.5 hours from their pregnant partners daily. I understand him wanting to help his elder relative and he can return at the first signs of labour in the unlikely even it happens to occur in those few hours. Your labour will last significantly longer than that I'm afraid to tell you so he won't be missing anything

I'd say it's 50:50 as to whether you'll go into labour this week. Probably 1:100 that your labour would be 2 hours or less from start to finish ( I know 3 people including me who produced a baby so quickly)..
So very small chance that baby will arrive in his absence, but have a plan b just in case, someone else who could get you to hospital in an emergency.