So embarrassed by friends. AIBU to ask them to leave tomorrow morning?

[Rebecca980]

Our friends - a gay couple - who we have been close with for the last 15 years came over to stay. They have had one set of parents, a sister, her baby and their two dogs staying with them for two weeks whilst they wait to move into their new place. They needed a break so we said they could come and stay with us for a few days. They are in our ‘bubble’. We’ve both recently moved from London to the south coast close by - which was a decision we made together really.

DH and I have been friends with them for years. Before DD came along and we were married. We’ve had wild times - but we’ve all grown up....or so I thought.

They arrived with bottle of vodka in tow. It lasted them about an hour until they pulled out another and it went.

We have made friends with our neighbours since we Moved here and have made an active effort to try and integrate ourselves in our new area and street.

I am SO EMBARRASSED by their behaviour this evening. It’s like they regressed to us being 20 again.

By the time DD went to bed, they were screaming in the garden, swearing (C word at the end of almost every sentence), trying to talk to neighbours over the fences. They also love ‘shock values - which was funny when we were kids but really isn’t now and they reverted straight back to it.

I’m embarrassed our neighbours have heard them and worried how it reflects on us. I’m sure they could also hear us trying to sort them out.

I’m also annoyed at DH a little as I was trying to get them inside but was getting no support in that.

Some of the things they were shouting have left me unable to sleep and worried about how it reflects.

They have hearts of gold, and DD adores themes Bhave always been terrible drunks. I don’t actually like being drunk so maybe this has been exasperated because I wasn’t drinking....

I get they were excited as they had a much needed little break from a stressful time, but I really am thinking of asking them to go back tomorrow rather than staying any more days. AIBU? And how should I approach this with the neighbours? Just a quick sorry next time I see them?

They’ve also broken a few bits in the house by falling into them.

Both DH and I are pretty mortified. But also know they’ve been stressed and want to give them an opportunity to unwind.

[Rebecca980]

@Krazynights34 Thanks. This has put things in perspective.
It was lovely to see them. Me and DH have been friends with them since before we even got together - and I certainly don’t want to start an argument.
Yes - lots of sex talk. Also, particularly worried about something that may have come across as anti-semetic one of them continuously shouted. I’m Jewish and he was being ironic. But other people don’t know that.
Yes - continuously told them to stop, but it’s like holding a rag to a bull to them....it just eggs them on. One one hand I LOVE that they are exactly the same as twenty years ago....but I just wish it wasn’t in the garden when the neighbours were out!
I certainly don’t think being drunk and in appreciate is for younger people. But we’ve just tried really hard since we moved into our new house (in an area where we are the youngest) and very conscious that our neighbours are older....but thanks for stating that as it has put my mind at ease!
The neighbours in our row of houses didn’t get annoyed, I don’t think. The lady next door was laughing earlier - but that was before it got inappropriate.
We have a block of flats behind our house and somebody there did shout to be quiet (at about 7.30 though!) and one of the boys shouted back “No! You c*!” which was embarrassing....(although this is what made our next door neighbour burst out laughing.....).

I don’t want to sound snobby, but we’re a group of old friends that have found themselves in different situations in life as we’ve grown. I think I’m just worried about all the swearing and maybe I just need to get over it...?

[Trees2905]

They are not in your bubble. You are breaking the rules.

[birthdaybelle]

No need to talk about bloody bubbles and lockdown it's completely irrelevant to the thread.

So they were in bed by 10pm?! From what you were saying I thought it was an all nighter.

Sounds like they were badly behaved but if that's what you were all like together in the past I feel a bit sorry for them that they've come to unwind with you and found you've got a bit boring. Sorry. I think you're overreacting.

[LagunaBubbles]

But bubbles are based on households - from my understanding. And they can stay overnight
This was all announced on 23rd June

I suggest you go and look it up OP. And then come back and admit you've blatantly broke the rules. I despair of some people.

[LagunaBubbles]

No need to talk about bloody bubbles and lockdown it's completely irrelevant to the thread

You aren't the thread Police. There is a pandemic still going on despite what some people think and behave like.

[Thisismytimetoshine]

You're not making this pair of twats sound any better, op
You are right to be very embarrassed indeed.
And they shouldn't be staying in your house. How did you not know this?

[Rebecca980]

@Sittingontheveranda Thank you. I think you’ve basically summed up how I feel for me! This has been a really helpful response, thanks xx

[user16386689775]

Well, if op is judging them for being drunk seems fair to point out that op has broken the law. That would bother me more as her neighbour.

[DamnYankee]

I don't think the "bubble" is relevant here.

They passed out by 10pm

Thank your lucky stars! My neighbor had a niece over once and we could hear every other word was fckin (or fekin - she was from Ireland). She liked to take the calls from her friends outside. We live in a neighborhood in the foothills of the Rocky Mtns., so echoes were/are magnificent. I heard every word.

The neighbor came over to apologize after she left. Although I'm sure my DCs heard none of it, I appreciated the gesture.

How long are planning on staying? Would the hangover alone keep them from repeating such behavior?

[DamnYankee]

*every other word was...

[Rebecca980]

@birthdaybelle me and DH were saying that it wouldn’t have mattered if we were out. I think it’s just doing this in our home and also not listening when we’ve asked them to stop - just getting worse - that’s annoyed us.
But thanks - this has made me think about their side of things which is really helpful xx

[Thisismytimetoshine]

Fecking isn't remotely equivalent to fucking. Different league altogether.

[Rebecca980]

@user16386689775 I actually appreciate this. However, I know for a fact my neighbours won’t care about the people staying over....

[SinisterBumFacedCat]

They passed out by 10pm

The lightweights

[ProbablyFault]

OP: / stoically ignores bubble issue

[Rebecca980]

@DamnYankee Thanks Damn Yankee. We often enjoy socially distanced drinks/street parties with our neighbours, so will definitely apologise in person when I see them.

I did do a call to my mother to let her know what was going on once DH got them inside....knowing the neighbours were in the garden. Basically knowing they’d overhear and know we were trying hard to sort them out!

[TheMamaYo]

I wouldn’t worry too much. Your friends won’t be the first or last to let their hair down a bit after a stressful time. A quick apology to your neighbours should be enough, but I honestly don’t think you need to fret about it. It didn’t go on until morning hours, disturbing everyone’s sleep.

Your friends sounds like a whole lot of fun, and as a previous poster said, most of us have a couple of friends/ family who is not always on their best behaviour. That’s life.

[DamnYankee]

@Thisismytimetoshine

Lol. Maybe not, but she came over to apologize for the other word. She's pretty protective of the kids in our neighborhood.

[Rebecca980]

@SinisterBumFacedCat They went through two bottles of vodka together in less than two hours!!! I can’t fathom how they’re still able to even do this hahaha.

[Disquieted1]

Let it go.
They've disrespected you and your home but telling them to leave just ends the relationship you have with them and you say that it's generally a good one.
You have some bridges to mend with your neighbours though.

[Thisismytimetoshine]

[quote Rebecca980]@user16386689775 I actually appreciate this. However, I know for a fact my neighbours won’t care about the people staying over....[/quote]
Who has verified this "fact"?

[Rebecca980]

@TheMamaYo They are fun. It just got a bit much this evening. You’ve made me feel better...thank you!

[PleasantVille]

If I was your neighbour I'd be annoyed by both the rule breaking (how hard is it to understand bubbles) and their behaviour. Ten you're making them sound really awful, getting blind drunk and loudly sweeping, they sound about 15 and it would give me a negative impression of you.