So embarrassed by friends. AIBU to ask them to leave tomorrow morning?

[Rebecca980]

Our friends - a gay couple - who we have been close with for the last 15 years came over to stay. They have had one set of parents, a sister, her baby and their two dogs staying with them for two weeks whilst they wait to move into their new place. They needed a break so we said they could come and stay with us for a few days. They are in our ‘bubble’. We’ve both recently moved from London to the south coast close by - which was a decision we made together really.

DH and I have been friends with them for years. Before DD came along and we were married. We’ve had wild times - but we’ve all grown up....or so I thought.

They arrived with bottle of vodka in tow. It lasted them about an hour until they pulled out another and it went.

We have made friends with our neighbours since we Moved here and have made an active effort to try and integrate ourselves in our new area and street.

I am SO EMBARRASSED by their behaviour this evening. It’s like they regressed to us being 20 again.

By the time DD went to bed, they were screaming in the garden, swearing (C word at the end of almost every sentence), trying to talk to neighbours over the fences. They also love ‘shock values - which was funny when we were kids but really isn’t now and they reverted straight back to it.

I’m embarrassed our neighbours have heard them and worried how it reflects on us. I’m sure they could also hear us trying to sort them out.

I’m also annoyed at DH a little as I was trying to get them inside but was getting no support in that.

Some of the things they were shouting have left me unable to sleep and worried about how it reflects.

They have hearts of gold, and DD adores themes Bhave always been terrible drunks. I don’t actually like being drunk so maybe this has been exasperated because I wasn’t drinking....

I get they were excited as they had a much needed little break from a stressful time, but I really am thinking of asking them to go back tomorrow rather than staying any more days. AIBU? And how should I approach this with the neighbours? Just a quick sorry next time I see them?

They’ve also broken a few bits in the house by falling into them.

Both DH and I are pretty mortified. But also know they’ve been stressed and want to give them an opportunity to unwind.

Amibannedorwhat
Of course she should explain that they are gay, gives us some context, if the OP had said 'couple' we would all be asking questions about the dynamics of the relationship between a man and woman and their drinking. Why you would say it's not relevant I am at a loss to understand.

Isthisreallylife
Derogatory comments about Romanians...they work harder than most English people & rarely claim benefits, plus are keen to learn the language. You sound very bigoted. They are the ones getting the food to our supermarkets & looking after our older generation in care homes.

@Jog569

After reading these comments on here, I will never want to ask for advice on this site because most of you are a bunch of judgmental twats! Very bitchy and rude “mums”.

I’m sure your neighbours will be fine, just tell them to calm down. Tell them no more drinking!. Good luck!.

Whereas you sound absolutely delightful obviously

@Isthisreallylife

Thisismytimetoshine. ? I don’t see your point? Please be courteous enough as to explain what you mean?

What don't you understand? I was amused that "not behaving in a loutish manner" was designed to impress the neighbours, since you ask. God love them when you no longer care what they think... And yes, the Romanians you speak so disparagingly of sound a far better option than you do Sounds like you'd be doing your neighbours a big favour, based on your post.

I also love the grand finale to your post and we haven't had any trouble since 🤣
You are the trouble. They're probably keeping well out of your way, for very good reasons.

@Rebecca980 You don't their find "shock value" sense of humour very funny any more, and they lacked the sensitivity to behave acceptably (vodka blindfold) to behave better whilst in somebody else's garden. It sounds like you're going in different directions.

I also loved your grand finale post!! Just as I thought they could not care less and found it quite funny.
You neighbours sound like a nice open minded older couple like myself and DH , and the occasional party or BBQ won’t bother them at all.

Having read some of the replies you got from some people on MN, you should just be pleased you don’t live next door to them!! I think you all know who you all are!!

ilikemethewayiam

I’m in a similar position to you OP. We have just moved to a small private estate with Rules around behaviour, cars, parking, dogs etc. It’s an idyllic place to live and the neighbours are lovely

Golf per chance? Sounds absolutely grim and you all sound like crashing snobs

What's the relevance of them being a gay couple?

Surely this convo has ended now?

Haha I’m actually very delightful thank you very much and I’m sure you are too 😂

I bet you wished you never asked anyone this question now, people are unbelievably quite nasty on site 🙈

@Keepwarminthisroom

ilikemethewayiam

I’m in a similar position to you OP. We have just moved to a small private estate with Rules around behaviour, cars, parking, dogs etc. It’s an idyllic place to live and the neighbours are lovely

Golf per chance? Sounds absolutely grim and you all sound like crashing snobs

Nope, not grim at all! Like I said, it’s idyllic. No crime, no nightmare neighbours, no drunken sweary parties, no Disputes over parking etc. If you think having standards is snobbery that’s fine by me, I’ll take that, you’re entitled to your opinion 🤷‍♀️

You’re allowed over night guests from now without being in a bubble... Jesus so many people on here are so dramatic!

A lot of you actually sound pretty crazy!!

@Jog569

I bet you wished you never asked anyone this question now, people are unbelievably quite nasty on site 🙈

@Jog569 They all come out of the woodwork! Haha.

So they were asleep by 10pm?!

Jesus could you be more of a pearl clutcher!

YABVU

I'd hate to have such a boring person like yourself as a friend

pre covid, next door neighbours had a party that got way out of hand - in their apartment and in communal roof garden.
Council anti social intervention team turned up and insisted music off, some of the guests to leave, even though it wasn't that late.
Huge amount of sucking up, apologies and being very community minded by relatively new NDNs, and forgotten (ish) fairly quickly.

@rwoollsey
I’m sure OP would LOVE to have a friend as charming as you 🙄

Yes you need to lay down some ground rules, explain that behaviour of the past is not appropriate now, and that getting drunk is not fun for the one who wants to stay sober, that you are concerned they may be abusing alcohol, and then talk about how you are feeling, to which you are entitled. Set down a date by which they have to leave and stop making excuses for them, you're not their Mum.

OP I think you have outgrown your friends and the fact that you describe one of them at the end of your bed like a puppy just cringes me.

However - I’m struggling with the fact that you used to be besties with them and now you have turned into some suburban pearl clutcher who is mortified at what the neighbours might think. What happened to you?! This is extreme.

Mytimetoshine

Your name tag says it all! More concerned with yourself than to see the full picture. I am godparent to my Romanian frienads daughter, I love her and her family more than my own and she is all the good things you say. However, I read my bigoted neighbours correctly. They thought they were getting a young neighbour who would run around and look after them and as I was told ‘at least you’re English’! - I knew which buttons to press on the nazis posing as genteel OAP’s !

They do don’t they 🙈😂

They thought they were getting a young neighbour who would run around and look after them
What on earth leads you to believe such a thing? Bizarre.