So embarrassed by friends. AIBU to ask them to leave tomorrow morning?

[Rebecca980]

Our friends - a gay couple - who we have been close with for the last 15 years came over to stay. They have had one set of parents, a sister, her baby and their two dogs staying with them for two weeks whilst they wait to move into their new place. They needed a break so we said they could come and stay with us for a few days. They are in our ‘bubble’. We’ve both recently moved from London to the south coast close by - which was a decision we made together really.

DH and I have been friends with them for years. Before DD came along and we were married. We’ve had wild times - but we’ve all grown up....or so I thought.

They arrived with bottle of vodka in tow. It lasted them about an hour until they pulled out another and it went.

We have made friends with our neighbours since we Moved here and have made an active effort to try and integrate ourselves in our new area and street.

I am SO EMBARRASSED by their behaviour this evening. It’s like they regressed to us being 20 again.

By the time DD went to bed, they were screaming in the garden, swearing (C word at the end of almost every sentence), trying to talk to neighbours over the fences. They also love ‘shock values - which was funny when we were kids but really isn’t now and they reverted straight back to it.

I’m embarrassed our neighbours have heard them and worried how it reflects on us. I’m sure they could also hear us trying to sort them out.

I’m also annoyed at DH a little as I was trying to get them inside but was getting no support in that.

Some of the things they were shouting have left me unable to sleep and worried about how it reflects.

They have hearts of gold, and DD adores themes Bhave always been terrible drunks. I don’t actually like being drunk so maybe this has been exasperated because I wasn’t drinking....

I get they were excited as they had a much needed little break from a stressful time, but I really am thinking of asking them to go back tomorrow rather than staying any more days. AIBU? And how should I approach this with the neighbours? Just a quick sorry next time I see them?

They’ve also broken a few bits in the house by falling into them.

Both DH and I are pretty mortified. But also know they’ve been stressed and want to give them an opportunity to unwind.

[Localocal]

"Guys. We love you but you can't get drunk here tonight. We are trying to make a decent impression on the neighbours because DD will be at school with their kids soon. So either be chill tonight, or go somewhere else to get drunk." They don't sound like they would be that precious.

Then apologise to the neighbours and blame their shouting on too many months in lockdown.

[EQTONYEQ]

@Rebecca980

Our friends - a gay couple - who we have been close with for the last 15 years came over to stay. They have had one set of parents, a sister, her baby and their two dogs staying with them for two weeks whilst they wait to move into their new place. They needed a break so we said they could come and stay with us for a few days. They are in our ‘bubble’. We’ve both recently moved from London to the south coast close by - which was a decision we made together really.

DH and I have been friends with them for years. Before DD came along and we were married. We’ve had wild times - but we’ve all grown up....or so I thought.

They arrived with bottle of vodka in tow. It lasted them about an hour until they pulled out another and it went.

We have made friends with our neighbours since we Moved here and have made an active effort to try and integrate ourselves in our new area and street.

I am SO EMBARRASSED by their behaviour this evening. It’s like they regressed to us being 20 again.

By the time DD went to bed, they were screaming in the garden, swearing (C word at the end of almost every sentence), trying to talk to neighbours over the fences. They also love ‘shock values - which was funny when we were kids but really isn’t now and they reverted straight back to it.

I’m embarrassed our neighbours have heard them and worried how it reflects on us. I’m sure they could also hear us trying to sort them out.

I’m also annoyed at DH a little as I was trying to get them inside but was getting no support in that.

Some of the things they were shouting have left me unable to sleep and worried about how it reflects.

They have hearts of gold, and DD adores themes Bhave always been terrible drunks. I don’t actually like being drunk so maybe this has been exasperated because I wasn’t drinking....

I get they were excited as they had a much needed little break from a stressful time, but I really am thinking of asking them to go back tomorrow rather than staying any more days. AIBU? And how should I approach this with the neighbours? Just a quick sorry next time I see them?

They’ve also broken a few bits in the house by falling into them.

Both DH and I are pretty mortified. But also know they’ve been stressed and want to give them an opportunity to unwind.

Your not being unreasonable, in the long run, you are the one who has to see your neighbors every day, so better safe than sorry.

[ToBBQorNotToBBQ]

They sound joyous. Your neighbours will get over it, don't make it a regular thing.

[Babyroobs]

They don't sound sweet just embarrassing and immature. I'd just ask them to go tomorrow.

[Skysblue]

Your friends sound like total wankers who need to grow up.

Apologise to your neighbours and post the friends back to their home.

[FelicisNox]

They're your friends, they don't have the same lifestyle as you and as such they won't "move on" simply because they don't need to.

It's not ideal the way they behaved but they were drunk and over excited to see you so all that is needed is a strong word about how your lifestyle has changed now you live in suburbia and they can't go around antagonising your neighbours as you're the ones who have to live with them.

It's not ideal but neither is you thinking more of your neighbours than you do your friends.

They're adults: treat them like it and talk to them.

[Rebecca980]

@sixthtimelucky it was to explain the Context and dynamic of the situation mainly, be being only female around etc. Nothing harmful meant of it. As mentioned in previous post, I have two gay brothers - I certainly didn’t mean it in a negative way. I should have perhaps said ‘a slightly outrageous and fabulous gay couple’

Blimey, the MN crew certainly do like to pick apart and critisise!

Anyway, this was all a few days ago now and all is fine now.

[Petlover9]

@Thisismytimetoshine. Totally agree with this Post OP - fake a family emergency if you have to but get rid, they are rude arseholes

[Isthisreallylife]

Not that it has anything to do with this subject:
I know - because the daughter of the woman who sold her house to me - told me “how delighted ALL the neighbours were that a younger person was moving in and could AT LEAST run their errands for them - ooh! and she drives!” was the statement!

What would you think?

[sixthtimelucky]

Sorry to be po faced, but it IS dubious to put in the first sentence of your OP that the couple are gay. I'm a bit sensitive about it as one of my kids is gay and I'd be fucked off if someone mentioned it like you did as if it..what? It explains their behaviour? Think about why you felt you had to say that.

Anyway, don't sweat it too much. It wasn't you drunk and C-wording in the garden, it was your visitors, so anyone that holds that against you for more than a day is a twat.

[FancyAnOlive]

If I was your neighbour I'd be unimpressed by the shouting and swearing but I'd be seriously pissed off with your having friends over to stay when you are not supposed to. The rules aren't that mysterious, OP!

[Thisismytimetoshine]

They thought they were getting a young neighbour who would run around and look after them
What on earth leads you to believe such a thing? Bizarre.

[Jog569]

They do don’t they 🙈😂

[Isthisreallylife]

Mytimetoshine

Your name tag says it all! More concerned with yourself than to see the full picture. I am godparent to my Romanian frienads daughter, I love her and her family more than my own and she is all the good things you say. However, I read my bigoted neighbours correctly. They thought they were getting a young neighbour who would run around and look after them and as I was told ‘at least you’re English’! - I knew which buttons to press on the nazis posing as genteel OAP’s !

[Meeeh]

OP I think you have outgrown your friends and the fact that you describe one of them at the end of your bed like a puppy just cringes me.

However - I’m struggling with the fact that you used to be besties with them and now you have turned into some suburban pearl clutcher who is mortified at what the neighbours might think. What happened to you?! This is extreme.

[jillybeanclevertips]

Yes you need to lay down some ground rules, explain that behaviour of the past is not appropriate now, and that getting drunk is not fun for the one who wants to stay sober, that you are concerned they may be abusing alcohol, and then talk about how you are feeling, to which you are entitled. Set down a date by which they have to leave and stop making excuses for them, you're not their Mum.

[OverTheRainbow88]

@rwoollsey
I’m sure OP would LOVE to have a friend as charming as you 🙄

[EveryDayIsADuvetDay]

pre covid, next door neighbours had a party that got way out of hand - in their apartment and in communal roof garden.
Council anti social intervention team turned up and insisted music off, some of the guests to leave, even though it wasn't that late.
Huge amount of sucking up, apologies and being very community minded by relatively new NDNs, and forgotten (ish) fairly quickly.

[rwoollsey]

So they were asleep by 10pm?!

Jesus could you be more of a pearl clutcher!

YABVU

I'd hate to have such a boring person like yourself as a friend

[Rebecca980]

@Jog569

I bet you wished you never asked anyone this question now, people are unbelievably quite nasty on site 🙈

@Jog569 They all come out of the woodwork! Haha.

[OverTheRainbow88]

You’re allowed over night guests from now without being in a bubble... Jesus so many people on here are so dramatic!

A lot of you actually sound pretty crazy!!

[ilikemethewayiam]

@Keepwarminthisroom

ilikemethewayiam

I’m in a similar position to you OP. We have just moved to a small private estate with Rules around behaviour, cars, parking, dogs etc. It’s an idyllic place to live and the neighbours are lovely

Golf per chance? Sounds absolutely grim and you all sound like crashing snobs

Nope, not grim at all! Like I said, it’s idyllic. No crime, no nightmare neighbours, no drunken sweary parties, no Disputes over parking etc. If you think having standards is snobbery that’s fine by me, I’ll take that, you’re entitled to your opinion 🤷‍♀️

[Jog569]

I bet you wished you never asked anyone this question now, people are unbelievably quite nasty on site 🙈

[Jog569]

Haha I’m actually very delightful thank you very much and I’m sure you are too 😂