Pocket money for 20 yr old

[Wigglegiggle0520]

Just seen another thread about pocket money for children.

DSD 20 yr old has just dropped out of uni. she stayed at home and lives with mum and step dad.

We give her £170 a month for living expenses. I doubt her mum asks her for anything but she may do.

DSD has just got her old job back starting in September earning around £12,000 a year.

What would you do regarding the money given to her each month? Keep the same or reduce?

We only found out she had dropped out of uni when she’d had it confirmed she had got her old job back so not entirely sure when the decision was made and when she stopped studying.

We don’t have an opinion either way really. We can afford it but obviously DH is a little disappointed she didn’t speak to him about it and feels like he was the last to know but accepts she’s an adult and doesn’t have to run any of her choices past him!

YABU - keep same for next 2 months
YANBU - reduce amount

Ds 20 dropped out of uni and his 250 a month stopped with immediate effect and he had to get a job. He now gives me 10% of whatever he earns, he's had a well paying job since then and now a not so well paid job, 10% whichever.
I really strongly disagree with the idea of giving a 20 year old free money, feels very strange but each to their own I guess.

...is this for real?

She's 20! An adult! Why is she getting pocket money?

I think my pocket money stopped when I got to 15 and i got my first weekend job.

Thanks @Subeccoo. Yes I know what you mean. I just wasn’t sure if it was a bit mean. Her job isn’t starting for a few months and is unlikely to be able to get any causal work to tide her over. Thanks for your response.

Why are you giving an adult pocket money?

She is an adult with a job. She does not need pocket money.

Surely it's July 1st not April 1st?

I don't understand why you're giving her any money at all? She's an adult, living rent-free and doesn't have to pay bills. She needs to giving you money, not the other way around!
I understand the difficulties when your child goes to university because our ridiculous student finance system expects you to pay thousands of pounds but when she's not studying, her income is in no way related to you. Adults shouldn't be getting "pocket money".

@yankathebear
I called it pocket money because I wasn’t sure what else to refer to it is. It’s around half the recommended parental contribution to uni costs as her mum also gives her money. So it’s for all her living expenses while studying but obviously now she isn’t studying.

Pocket money for a 20 year old? no no no, that's not doing her any favours, my daughter is 20 and in University plus has a part time job for her own pocket money

Adults don't get pocket money. That's why you work. If she needs money she’ll have to go and earn it.

Drop out of uni and be gifted £170 a month? 😳😳😳 I'm not denying 'kids' need help at times but that seems obscene. She needs to stand on her own 2 feet, no, don't continue to give her money. If anything she should be offering to pay you back something!

I'd give her money to tide her over till her job starts. I would tell her that it stops from then and would expect some board contribution but would discuss it all with her.

Some pp have not read she has a job and is waiting to start.

Well she’s a grown up now so she can have ‘big girl’ pocket money - a job!!
Which she already has..
Seriously give her fuck all!

She doesn’t live with us she lives with her mum. I don’t know what their arrangement is regarding board money.

Thanks for all the opinions.

Reduce it to 0
Goodness me ! She's got a job , she's not in education , stop pandering to her

You don’t pay adults pocket money. You financially support adult Dc is no are undergraduates, maybe also postgrads. Other than that, they work, or they sign on (and therefore are nagged by someone else to get of their backsides). Why can she not temp for a couple of months?

She's an adult that doesn't live with you and isn't studying. She needs no money from you. If anything, I'd recommend giving a token amount to her mother to pay for her bills but don't feel obliged to do so because her mother is perfectly capable of charging her rent if she wishes to.

She is an adult not in education. She has now got a job starting soon, no money from you anymore she has to support herself. If you want to buy her something or save the money for a year or so to help later then fine but no no pocket money don't be ridiculous

I understand you were giving her money to help at Uni. My dad gave me £30 a week throughout Uni and it made a huge impact to my life. My student loan just covered rent, my work only just covered a tiny food budget as students are limited in what they can work.

Now she has left uni and has a job I would not give heer anything - my dad stopped as I left uni which makes perfect sense. She is 20!

I think your husband needs to either ask her or her mother whether she has to pay a contribution at home and then decide what to do from there but if she doesn’t have to give her mum anything I’d be reducing the amount considerably straight away .

Isn't £12,000 below the minimum wage? Is she working full time? Is it a job that'll lead anywhere?

@flirtygirl

Some pp have not read she has a job and is waiting to start.

What makes you think we haven’t?

If you have a gap between jobs as an adult, you still need to pay your bills in the meantime. You don’t just sit back and wait for mummy and daddy to cough up. It’s a terrible message for her to get at the outset of her working life, and calling it “pocket money” is even worse somehow. She’s 20.

May be put the money into an account, but dont give it to her.