Pocket money for 20 yr old

[Wigglegiggle0520]

Just seen another thread about pocket money for children.

DSD 20 yr old has just dropped out of uni. she stayed at home and lives with mum and step dad.

We give her £170 a month for living expenses. I doubt her mum asks her for anything but she may do.

DSD has just got her old job back starting in September earning around £12,000 a year.

What would you do regarding the money given to her each month? Keep the same or reduce?

We only found out she had dropped out of uni when she’d had it confirmed she had got her old job back so not entirely sure when the decision was made and when she stopped studying.

We don’t have an opinion either way really. We can afford it but obviously DH is a little disappointed she didn’t speak to him about it and feels like he was the last to know but accepts she’s an adult and doesn’t have to run any of her choices past him!

YABU - keep same for next 2 months
YANBU - reduce amount

I’d keep it the same. When my daughter finished Uni we carried on giving her the same amount while she was job hunting until she got her first pay packet. I wasn’t going to cut my daughter off when she was job hunting. Has she dropped out though I may have felt differently.

Are there any jobs she could do for you in the house or garden so that she's earning her money?

Shes 20, get a bloomin job fgs

Maybe say to her "if there is anything you need let us know". She is stuck in limbo until her job starts so I assume her mum/step dad are providing food etc if she literally has no money.
Really you need to ask her. If mum/stepdad insist she has to buy her own food just ask her if she is doing ok. Maybe doing a food shop for her instead of giving money might be an idea if she does need food (and other essentials like toiletries).

I would save it up for her, as there's bound to be a time when she'll need help.

You're mugs!!!! She can sign on if she's dropped out of uni and is unemployed and needs cash!

I'd reduce it... to zero, no studying, no help towards the costs of studying.

I think her previous situation is completely different to her current situation. I would like to think that any parent who can afford to, would help their child financially through university. But once uni finishes, either because you drop out or graduate, the money then stops and it’s up to you to earn your own way. I think this is even more important as she has dropped out, so presumably had a plan how she would survive before she Did that?

If you feel the need, keep saving the money for her, to give her when she is in a position to buy a house/car/starts a family/lovely big holiday as a massive treat/whatever, but a 20 year old should be standing on her own two feet and making their own living.

She won’t go without! I think her mum spoils her quite a lot. It’s a bit of a difficult situation hence why I’m asking for opinions.

My sibling and I got our "pocket money" until our parents retired, so late 20s, early 30s. We both work full time in good jobs and own our own homes now.

but accepts she’s an adult and doesn’t have to run any of her choices past him!

But not adult enough that he still gives her pocket money.

It's not a difficult situation at all - you supported her while she was at uni. She's now dropped out and can sign on before she starts her job

Going against the grain here.
If you can afford it, pay it until she starts work.
Give her 2 months notice it is going to stop.
He should tell her he is disappointed she did not tell him.

How embarrassing.

Lol I'm only 31 and when I was at uni and living at home I had a part time job and paid rent.

Why not stop the pocket money as she is an adult and if you happy and can afford it tell her you're putting it into a savings account to help her when she buys her first house or something else important

I still had pocket money at that age. If you can afford it, I don't see a problem with continuing to give it to her. It's your family; it doesn't matter what anyone else does about their children's pocket money.

She is an adult. Before her job starts she should apply for any benefits to which she may be entitled. Where is she living? - I presume she is getting free board and lodging already.

If she has definitely dropped out she can claim benefits until her job starts although strictly soeaking she should declare any " unearned income" to the DWP.

But Id say warn her and then stop. If you want to you could put money aside to help with something big - home deposit, driving kessons etcñ

Why are you giving "pocket money" to an adult?

Stop giving her money, tell her to get a job or get to the job centre and claim benefits. She's not a child.

This is crazy. She's 20. Stop giving her money.

I was given an allowance until I finished full time education at 22. About £500 a month to top up student loan. It didn't do me any harm, I'm now earning a few times the national average and have always been responsible with finances. Not sure why so much outrage.

If she had dropped out, I think the SLC can ask for some of the tuition fees and grants/loans back if she’s been overpaid
www.ucas.com/finance/student-finance-england/suspending-or-withdrawing-your-full-time-studies

I was given an allowance until I finished full time education at 22 Not sure why so much outrage.

Because she has finished FT education....

Why is everyone saying it's better that she signs on?

Surely it's far better that she's supported by her parents as opposed to the taxpayer?

My dd is 20 and I dont give her any money, she gets universal credit. She buys her own food and other stuff she needs. She will put money towards the electric. Once she gets a job she will have to give me some board.

She gets no money from her dad, he stopped once she was 18 but still in college.