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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Ex’s baby name almost the same as my name

248 replies

wrongsaidfred · 01/07/2020 13:12

Ex-boyfriend has named his new baby daughter almost with my name with one letter added in. AIBU to be shocked and confused?

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 01/07/2020 13:15

Yes. I'm sure it was nothing personal, they just liked the name

Igotthemheavyboobs · 01/07/2020 13:17

I'm sure he didn't have you in mind at all when he and his partner named his dd

FelicityPike · 01/07/2020 13:18

Who cares? Maybe him & his partner liked the name?
Maybe it’s a family name on the maternal side?
So many other options that’s not all about you!
Yes....YBVU!

Luaa · 01/07/2020 13:19

I suspect they just liked the name rather than purposely naming the child after you. I think YABU to be shocked and confused

ComtesseDeSpair · 01/07/2020 13:19

Yes, YABU and a bit weird. I expect he and his new partner picked their baby’s name together because they really liked it and unless you’re going to drip feed that you have a very very unusual name and / or the two of you remain bosom buddies, you and that it was similar to your name probably didn’t even cross his mind.

Even if you did, again, unless your name is unusual, why would you be shocked and confused? You had a relationship and he’s presumably over the break-up, and your name has no negative connotations.

HeeeeyDuggee · 01/07/2020 13:19

They probably just likes the name however try to ignore it and don’t give it any thought.

My DH ex celebrates her child’s birthday on our DS birthday even tho it’s not his birthday. Her kid is a year younger and when the kid was born she posted all over her social media saying that even tho her child’s birthday is xxx day forget in her heart his birthday is XX day (my child’s birthday) therefore she will be using that date to celebrate and even has the date tattooed on her! Bonkers

TulipsTwoLips · 01/07/2020 13:20

I'm guessing they don't think of you when they think of the name.

Thestreets · 01/07/2020 13:22

@HeeeeyDuggee

They probably just likes the name however try to ignore it and don’t give it any thought.

My DH ex celebrates her child’s birthday on our DS birthday even tho it’s not his birthday. Her kid is a year younger and when the kid was born she posted all over her social media saying that even tho her child’s birthday is xxx day forget in her heart his birthday is XX day (my child’s birthday) therefore she will be using that date to celebrate and even has the date tattooed on her! Bonkers

That's bonkers! Shock
Heidi1976 · 01/07/2020 13:22

Is it pronounced the same? If it is then if you had a serious relationship I'd think it was a bit weird. If it's pronounced differently then I'd say it was fine.

Poptart4 · 01/07/2020 13:22

Do you really think he named his child after you? Wow op, get over yourself.

He probably didnt even give you a 2nd thought when naming his child.

snurfflepots · 01/07/2020 13:26

I'm going against the grain here but I'm with you OP, I think that's really weird.

iVampire · 01/07/2020 13:26

To be blunt, it’s their favourite name and you aren’t important enough to be a factor in the decision

TheSandgroper · 01/07/2020 13:27

His gravestone is going to look odd.

Ishihtzuknot · 01/07/2020 13:28

I think it’s weird, if I was the mum I wouldn’t want my child named after partners ex (does she know about you?) Most people avoid names of people they knew/don’t like etc so it’s a strange choice.

Simonfromharlow · 01/07/2020 13:29

It's prob just a weird coincidence, my ex is a with a woman who has the same name as my sister and her sisters name is my name. Just happens like that sometimes. They probably like the name and you aren't significant enough for them to think of.

LaszlosHat · 01/07/2020 13:30

@Ishihtzuknot

I think it’s weird, if I was the mum I wouldn’t want my child named after partners ex (does she know about you?) Most people avoid names of people they knew/don’t like etc so it’s a strange choice.
Its not the same name though. That's why the OP said 'almost the same name'.
Soubriquet · 01/07/2020 13:31

@HeeeeyDuggee

They probably just likes the name however try to ignore it and don’t give it any thought.

My DH ex celebrates her child’s birthday on our DS birthday even tho it’s not his birthday. Her kid is a year younger and when the kid was born she posted all over her social media saying that even tho her child’s birthday is xxx day forget in her heart his birthday is XX day (my child’s birthday) therefore she will be using that date to celebrate and even has the date tattooed on her! Bonkers

That is nuts!!

And OP yours is weird too

Like why would you want to call your new born dd after your ex

I’m guessing it’s like Marie and they have named her Maria

Soubriquet · 01/07/2020 13:31

Or Anna and Hannah

ErickBroch · 01/07/2020 13:32

YABU. Sorry to say but if they're happy to call their child the same name as his ex then you really are completely irrelevent to them.

Justmuddlingalong · 01/07/2020 13:32

There's two ways to look at it.
Either he's so obsessed with you and never got over you that he (almost) named his DD after you. Or...
He's so over you he doesn't even think for a second that his DD's name is (almost) the same as yours.
Are you still hankering after him slightly, OP, because that might skew your thinking slightly?

MadeForThis · 01/07/2020 13:32

How long ago did you break up. I do find it weird.

frazzledasarock · 01/07/2020 13:34

When i divorced ex, he made a point of sending me a card informing he had a son and the name of the child.

He had named his son the name I had really loved and wanted if I had a son.

Makes laugh whenever I think about it. I'm that important to him.

I've since fallen in love with another boys name if I should ever have a son, meanwhile he's spent his time and energy naming his child in order to upset me, and he did, the way he told me showed me that.

I'd be more pissed off in the new partners shoes.

CreditCrackers · 01/07/2020 13:36

Without knowing the name, it's impossible to know if this is weird - but it's probably not. For all we know, you could be called Janie and your ex call his daughter Jaime. No sane person would think they're connected.

LadyPrigsbottom · 01/07/2020 13:37

Maybe he has more or less forgotten about you, (depending on how long your relationship was). Maybe his partner picked the name. Or maybe it's weird...hard to tell without a bit more info I think.

FWIW, I would name my child something like John, despite me once dating a John. But, if I divorced my husband, whose name isn't as common as John, and then met a new partner and had a baby, I definitely wouldn't name the baby the same as DH.

Pinnacular · 01/07/2020 13:37

My ex has a child where the nickname that they use is pretty much my surname. Very odd, as he didn't want children and I ended things because I realised I did, but definitely not with him. Six months later he's expecting this child in a big 'screw you' kind of way. It was very, very odd. YANBU.