AIBU Ex’s baby name almost the same as my name

[wrongsaidfred]

Ex-boyfriend has named his new baby daughter almost with my name with one letter added in. AIBU to be shocked and confused?

Depends on how significant an ex he is - and, as others have said, just how similar the name is. Helen/Helena, Julie/Juliet type thing? Probably just a name his wife liked and it was different enough that he didn’t immediately connect the two.

If you were together for 20 years and your name is Kate and the baby Katie? Yes, rather odd! But again - the baby’s mum might have had her heart set on it (eg it was her gran’s name or whatever). So I wouldn’t give it too much thought.

@HeeeeyDuggee

They probably just likes the name however try to ignore it and don’t give it any thought.

My DH ex celebrates her child’s birthday on our DS birthday even tho it’s not his birthday. Her kid is a year younger and when the kid was born she posted all over her social media saying that even tho her child’s birthday is xxx day forget in her heart his birthday is XX day (my child’s birthday) therefore she will be using that date to celebrate and even has the date tattooed on her! Bonkers

Say WHAT!? this is proper mental!

I just realised, my son is called Robin and I dated a Rob once. I'd always assumed Rob was a Robert but maybe he was a Robin too. It had never even occurred to me until now. Robin was named after my Granddad but maybe Rob is out there on "dadsnet" writing about how shocked and confused he is that I used his name hahaha

My son has the same name as an ex of mine from a long time ago...although we use the full version of the same and he goes by the shortened version ( think Joe and Joseph)
It literally hadn't crossed my mind until he got in touch and I told him I have a son called 'Joseph' and he laughed and said 'great name!'

You're over thinking it massively.

Perhaps you ex has been out with 172 other women with different names, so he couldn't possibly think of an original one😜

We need more details!

If you were 16 and together for a few months, you're called Anna and he's used Hannah, not weird at all.

If you were together for 20 years and have 4 kids together, and you're Anne and he's used Annie, definitely weird.

At face value, it does seem weird, however...

My son’s middle name is same as my ex’s first name.
It happens to be a fairly common name (like Henry) and is shared by the deceased grandfathers on both sides, so we gave it to him to acknowledge the two grandfathers and it’s just a coincidence that my ex. has the same name.

It is a bit odd, but do you have children with him etc or is he just an old BF? If it is an old BF then tbh its probably a coincidence. If you have kids with him etc that's just weird. Having said that my SDs Mum has remarried and had a little boy, when she told my DH what they were naming the baby he had to ask them to repeat it as his name is practically identical to my husband's name. Same name but missing the first letter off and sounds the same. It did make me chuckle tbh.

I called my DS my first boyfriends name. And didn’t even realise until I saw him on Facebook! I dated him 20 years ago and definitely didn’t think about the ex when DS was born.

He sent me a msg saying “thanks for naming your son after me!”

cringe but I do like his name and have no regrets. (ex was known by another nickname)

Sorry to derail but WTF @HeeeeyDuggee

So, your son was born on, say, 1/1/16 and her son was born 1/4/17 but she celebrates it in January. Am I understanding this correctly? My mind is blown!

My DGF named two of his DD's after ex girlfriends... My DGM only found out much later.

If it's an unusual name then it's a bit weird, but it may be completely unrealated.

My cousin has a daughter with quite an unusual name, not wildly different, but uncommon. After she and her ex split up he had another child with his new wife. At that point he seen his DD1 50% of the week. She had a good relationship with his new wife. Co-incidentally she had the same name as the new wife's mother. His new wife always wanted to call a daughter after her mother. When they had a daughter she did. So he had two daughters with the same name. They were then surprised that his 10yo was extremely upset by it and contact drifted. Such a sad situation, and they still to this day can't understand why it was a problem.

I was madly in love with someone for years when I was late teens/early 20s and his name was along the lines of Timothy Stevenson, known as Tim. My husbands name is as similar to it as Timothy Stevens (known as Tim) I didnt even realise until a friend pointed it out to me even though I'm still in touch sporadically with the original Tim on social media! Sometimes people just don't join the dots if someone isnt really relavant to their life anymore.

If they are two different names (but similar) like Alexa/ Alexia it wouldn't bother me as much as if it was the same name with an extra letter added to make a different spelling like Halle/ Hallie.

That is really quite strange! I would take it as a compliment & assume his partner doesn’t know your name.

Was in a relationship for 2 years. He wasn’t a good person, narcissistic etc. We broke up and I met current partner and had DD, fairly quickly. His daughter was born this year, a year after mine.

Actually thinking about it I found out the other day that my son has the same name as my exes brother! (Not a recent ex ) I had no idea and I obviously forgot about it, I hope he doesn’t think I did it on purpose!

Unless you tell us the names we can't say if HIBU/Bonkers or no

@lyralalala

If it's an unusual name then it's a bit weird, but it may be completely unrealated.

My cousin has a daughter with quite an unusual name, not wildly different, but uncommon. After she and her ex split up he had another child with his new wife. At that point he seen his DD1 50% of the week. She had a good relationship with his new wife. Co-incidentally she had the same name as the new wife's mother. His new wife always wanted to call a daughter after her mother. When they had a daughter she did. So he had two daughters with the same name. They were then surprised that his 10yo was extremely upset by it and contact drifted. Such a sad situation, and they still to this day can't understand why it was a problem.

That is horrendous! What kind of people would do that to a child? So much of our identity is tied up in our name than most of us ever consciously think about. Poor kid.

I think it's a sign he's definitely over you and never gives you a second thought.

It depends. Say your name is Sophia and they've called the baby Sophie I don't think it's weird as they are two completely different names. But if your name is Dawn and they've called her Dawny then yeah totally weird

@wrongsaidfred

Was in a relationship for 2 years. He wasn’t a good person, narcissistic etc. We broke up and I met current partner and had DD, fairly quickly. His daughter was born this year, a year after mine.

In this case you're still too invested. Stop caring what your ex is up to and what he's naming his child. I assume you meant that little to him, that he didn't even think about it.... especially if its an ell(a) ell(e) type situation!

My daughters name is the same name as a girl an ex bf left me for years and years ago, obviously no connection, I just love the name! And my baby suits it like I couldn’t imGine her being called anything else, I hadn’t even thought about that until I read this thread. I’m sure they just like the name and is nothing to do with you :) xxx

I'd find it odd, but not necessarily shocking. I might use a non-trivial ex's name anyway if there were compelling reasons, but it would be a strike against it. (I'm assuming they sound identical - if it's something like Ella/Bella or Cara/Clara or Jane/Janet, that's less strange). But people definitely can be oblivious or just not think it matters.

E.g. - my brother had a massive crush, starting around age 12, on a classmate called Kristen. My aunt was pregnant then and asked us for name suggestions. Bro's one boy suggestion was his best friend's name; his one girl suggestion was Kristen. (At some later point he actually got together with Kristen; it lasted possibly six months.)

Years later, he's married, expecting his first child. My SIL is bugging him because he's completely uninterested in names. Finally she gets him to make suggestions - and the first is Kristen. SIL either knows or finds out who the "original Kristen" is, and is miffed. How can he suggest this??!! He seems genuinely bewildered that she's upset: that's ALWAYS been his favourite girl name! (Fortunately, they had a boy.)

[quote HeeeeyDuggee]@ShadowMane 100% not a wind up. My DH sister is still friends with her on SM and showed us she couldn’t believe it. It’s not the weirdest thing she did. I owned my own home which I owned before I even met my DH. One day a letter address to his EX from the DVLA turned up at my house. He had no connection To my house at the time

@LockdownMayhem 1 year and 3 months apart.[/quote]
So basically on the day you had your DS with her ex she made a decision “in her heart” that she was also going to have a baby. And when that baby was eventually born 1 yr and 3 months later, she decided that, despite being born on X day, she was going to mark the day she had “conceptualised his birth in her heart” (which was the day her ex’s son was born) as his actual birthday!! ?

TOTAL LOON!! Your DH had a lucky escape.