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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nasty comment from H

108 replies

excuseforfights · 30/06/2020 18:34

Hi, I’ll shortly be leaving my H for quite a number of reasons (emotional abuse, gaslighting, silent treatment, chatting to other women etc).

One thing he said a few weeks ago that really hurt me is that I was trying on a top at home from an online delivery in our bedroom. He came into our bedroom and I said I’ll return this one as it doesn’t look right. He said you can’t return it now that you’ve worn it on your ‘saggy tits’. I told him straight away that that was a disgusting comment and to never talk to me that way again.

But it has dented my confidence even more. I’m in my late 30s so some sag is expected! I was just looking at the Gap sale and came across this model. My breasts are similar to hers in shape and size. Would you say they’re saggy? I’ve posted a link as I don’t want to post the model’s pic on a forum:

www.gap.co.uk/gap/halter-floral-print-bikini-top/000352493.html?dwvar_000352493_color=000352493000&dwvar_000352493_fit=regular&cgid=60645#mlink='1016386&gap_061620_Upto60_pd1'=clink&pmin=2&pmax=20&imagesize=&imageview=&hideinfo=&start=

YANBU: they’re not particularly saggy, just normal breasts
YABU: they’re saggy

OP posts:
CluelessBaker · 30/06/2020 18:35

They’re perfectly normal boobs. Your STBEX is a prick. Don’t let him take up any more space in your head.

Bobbiepin · 30/06/2020 18:37

I'm not even gonna comment on that woman's breasts, or yours. That is not the issue.

Well done for building the courage to leave, the sooner the better by the sounds of things. Does he know you're leaving? It's probably him lashing out and trying to dent your confidence so you don't leave (sounds like it's working too).

You need to ask yourself why you value his opinion.

formerbabe · 30/06/2020 18:38

I can't be bothered to look at the picture because whether your breasts have succumb to gravity or not is irrelevant. It is a really vulgar, unpleasant and nasty way to speak to you.

PawPatrolMakesMeDrink · 30/06/2020 18:39

Doesn’t matter if your nipples are tickling your knees, he’s an utter cunt for saying something so cruel.
That model had distinctly average looking boobs to me. Wouldn’t give her a second glance.

RabbityMcRabbit · 30/06/2020 18:39

They're good boobs and not saggy! OP your STBXH is a dick of the highest order, I'm not surprised you're leaving.BearFlowers

LibrariesGiveUsPower · 30/06/2020 18:39

Boobs are not the issue here. Sounds like you’re doing a good thing moving on!

Jellykat · 30/06/2020 18:41

Blimey, they're great boobs!
You should see mine, like a couple of used teabags, i'll swap for yours no problem Smile

Seriously, he's emotionally abusive and will say any shit to hurt you and get a reaction, this you know... It's bullshit my lovely, do NOT absorb it!

glasgowLil · 30/06/2020 18:41

He sounds really horrible. That model has gorgeous boobs and I’m sure you to do. Don’t pay any attention to what he says as he’s clearly trying to dent your confidence and make you feel rubbish about yourself. Big hugs, onward and upwards! Xx

GuiltyBark · 30/06/2020 18:41

I'd love boobs like that! But yes a very spiteful comment. Well rid. X

LovingLola · 30/06/2020 18:42

No interest in comparing breasts.
Your husband is a bastard.

Idontlikewednesdays · 30/06/2020 18:43

I’m not looking at the picture of the model. Nor should you be comparing yourself to anyone else. He sounds absolutely vile. There are so many ways he could have told you that the top didn’t flatter you. He is cruel and heartless. I hope you can have the strength to leave because you deserve so much better 💐

GertrudeCB · 30/06/2020 18:43

What @PawPatrolMakesMeDrink said.

frazzledasarock · 30/06/2020 18:44

Those are lovely breasts.

Is your H into porn and plastic surgery pneumatic boobs?

MimiLaRue · 30/06/2020 18:45

That model's breasts are COMPLETELY NORMAL.
She looks great and I'm sure so do you. I would imagine he's the kind of tosser who watches a lot of porn and so thinks all women should have bolt on boobs just for men's pleasure. Is he perfect? does he have an absolutely rock hard perfect body with a 6 pack and not a single ounce of fat anywhere and is his dick the kind that could model underwear a la david gandy? If not then tell him to shut the fuck up and leave his pathetic ass. He is not a good or decent person and you can do better.

Littlebyerockerboo · 30/06/2020 18:46

Oh op, poor baby.
That model has lovely breasts, and as do you - this i am sure of - please dont listen to your H, who is obviously just using whatever he can to get his cruel, sick jabs in - and youre letting him!
I wouldve 100% retaliated with a immature remark about his manhood.
Fuck it, go now and open up a whole can of worms on his physical appearance. Why the hell not.

I'm in my 30s too, op. Ive out weight on, my stuidly large boobs are starting to sag, i dont look like I did a year ago, never mind 2 - but i accept it and think nothing of it.

Creul and pointless remark by your H. Put no weight behind it. Give it no head space and fuck him off as soon as possible.

user16386689775 · 30/06/2020 18:47

His goal was to make you feel shit about yourself so you wouldn't have the confidence to leave him and would believe his shitty treatment was the best you deserved.

Happily, you still plan to leave. So put his shitty comment in its rightful place in the dustbin and stop giving it headspace.

VettiyaIruken · 30/06/2020 18:47

So what if they are 'saggy'? They are still perfectly normal. Breasts change shape and that is normal.

Your soon to be ex is an absolute twat. One day his testicles will be hanging low because that's what happens to elderly men. Everyone gets some sag.

Cynara · 30/06/2020 18:48

I'm in agreement with pp in that whatever her/your breasts are like is beside the point, but I totally understand your need for reassurance given his utterly sickish behaviour, so from that perspective, yes, her/your breasts are totally normal and not in any way to be disparaged.

The bigger picture, as you know, is that your H is a small minded, tedious little prick and you will soar when you're free of him and his pathetic inadequacy. You deserve very much better. Don't doubt yourself.

billy1966 · 30/06/2020 18:48

AKA breasts that remind me on Liz Hurley in "that dress" 20 or 30 years ago and catapulted her to international recognition?

Yea right.
Absolutely gorgeous breasts...you are a lucky woman...

Good luck with divorcing his ass.
Flowers

BroomHandledMouser · 30/06/2020 18:48

Everything PP’s have said.

You’re worth more than this.

You’re worth something so so much more lovely.

JoeCalFuckingZaghe · 30/06/2020 18:48

It doesn’t matter if that model has “nice breasts” or you have 2 pool balls in some socks, your husband is an asshole. Don’t compare yourself to others, comparison is the thief of joy.

Leave as soon as possible.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 30/06/2020 18:48

I was just looking at the Gap sale and came across this model. My breasts are similar to hers in shape and size. Would you say they’re saggy?

I dont need to look. I can apply logic. Logic tells me that Gap dont use models with unattractive breasts. If yours look like hers, you can apply that logic to them for yourself.

And tell your husband his wrinkly little scrotum has always made you feel a bit sick...

Cynara · 30/06/2020 18:50

*dickish. Not sickish.

Somethingkindaoooo · 30/06/2020 18:50

Please don't look to people on the internet for validation.
He is a jerk.

Saralou82 · 30/06/2020 18:51

I've not looked at the photo. As other people have said, it doesn't matter as long as you feel good. He's a prick and you're well rid. Personally I think he knows you have more balls than he does and know you're out the door so he's trying to rent your confidence for you to stay. Classic head mash move. Next time ask when he's going to end up with the body of an adonis.