Nasty comment from H

[excuseforfights]

Hi, I’ll shortly be leaving my H for quite a number of reasons (emotional abuse, gaslighting, silent treatment, chatting to other women etc).

One thing he said a few weeks ago that really hurt me is that I was trying on a top at home from an online delivery in our bedroom. He came into our bedroom and I said I’ll return this one as it doesn’t look right. He said you can’t return it now that you’ve worn it on your ‘saggy tits’. I told him straight away that that was a disgusting comment and to never talk to me that way again.

But it has dented my confidence even more. I’m in my late 30s so some sag is expected! I was just looking at the Gap sale and came across this model. My breasts are similar to hers in shape and size. Would you say they’re saggy? I’ve posted a link as I don’t want to post the model’s pic on a forum:

www.gap.co.uk/gap/halter-floral-print-bikini-top/000352493.html?dwvar_000352493_color=000352493000&dwvar_000352493_fit=regular&cgid=60645#mlink='1016386&gap_061620_Upto60_pd1'=clink&pmin=2&pmax=20&imagesize=&imageview=&hideinfo=&start=

YANBU: they’re not particularly saggy, just normal breasts
YABU: they’re saggy

[BlueJava]

How much does he contribute in a positive way to your life? Because personally I'd be considering whether I wanted to have him around and I'd be thinking about that comment every time I undressed/dressed/ in front of him and had sex. He's a twat.

[sangrias]

Hope he's physically perfect in every way???
Thought not.


Also they are fine/ good.

[AlwaysDancing1234]

It doesn’t matter if you’re tits are touching your toes - he has no right to be nasty about it. Sooner you get rid the better!

[Warsawa31]

The best bit I took away from that message is that I am so glad you are going to leave him.

Honestly that model has perfectly nice boobs but like others have said if you love someone it doesn’t matter.
Sagging boobs are one thing, what about if they had it he removed ? The first thing my grandad said to my Nan after her mastectomy? You are
as beautiful now as the day I met you.
That’s what you deserve OP - someone who truly loves you for you . Best to luck

[Regularsizedrudy]

Fuck his opinion, why does it matter? He probably thought you looked good and needed to put you down to make his pathetic arse feel better. Think about it, if you noticed someone had saggy boobs would you comment on it? Of course not because you’re a normal person and he’s a prick.

[MimiLaRue]

The first thing my grandad said to my Nan after her mastectomy? You are as beautiful now as the day I met you

Your grandad is a legend, what a lovely man 🥰

[eausolovely]

1. they are a cracking pair! I would be so lucky and I'm 23, that's what boobs do unless they are fake
   
   
2. that's a disgusting thing to say to anyone never mind your wife!
   
   
3. Leave him and soon you will see that he's the problem and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you or your fabulous tits!

[Lifeisconfusing]

Why are you even asking and trying to justify your boobs????? You are you. Get a good bra and tell him to piss off im 35 and mine are abit saggy but I don’t give a shit

[MazDazzle]

You should have replied ‘They’re not as saggy as your ball sack.’

What a dickhead.

Ignore him, you’re moving on.

[Zeroenergy]

Who is even voting YABU.
Seriously.

[Chocolate1984]

He wanted to say something hurtful. If it wasn’t your boobs it would have been something else.

[stealm]

He's just awful and his comment about saggy tits was meant to upset you and it did.
It doesn't matter whether your boobs are saggy are not. So what if they are? He is an awful prick and it's good that you have decided to leave him - hopefully you will stick to that decision and get away from him as soon as possible.
Your problem is not your tits (which I bet aren't saggy) but your low self-esteem caused by living with this complete and utter wanker deliberately bringing you down. Once you've got rid of him you'll feel way better about yourself and your body.

[DollyDoneMore]

1. Models are models because they are conventionally attractive.
   
   
2. How fucking dare he? Cheeky fucker.

[excuseforfights]

Thanks everyone. I know you’re all right, the boobs don’t matter, it’s his attitude that stinks. He has sought to knock my confidence to the ground throughout the marriage.

As @Cynara says the need for re-assurance comes from his behaviour.

@frazzledasarock yes he does sometimes watch porn I think, I’ve only found it in his online history once.

@MimiLaRue no he’s not perfect at all, has a big belly and not very well endowed

@BlueJava his positive contribution to my life and our marriage is deceasing month by month. It’s desperately time to leave.

@Regularsizedrudy you’re right I would never comment negatively on anyone’s appearance, not even his. I like to think I see something nice in everyone whether it’s their eyes or hair etc

@BroomHandledMouser You’re worth something so so much more lovely.

Thank you 🌺

I’m grateful to each and everyone of you for your messages 🌹

[Thelnebriati]

Stop giving him this much head space! You already know he's a dick so dont take his comments seriously - you know he is trying to hurt you. you shouldn't need to do this. When he makes a comment repeat to yourself ''water off a ducks back''.

Focus on your future free from him.

[PomBearWithoutHerOFRS]

Honestly, even if your nipples were level with your knees, you could get a good bra and he would still be a twat. Ignore him!

[CeibaTree]

How do sweet little boys grow up into being some of the pricks I read about on mumsnet? Is it a massive parenting failure, or are they all doomed by a wider culture of toxic masculinity? Honestly the mind boggles. What a horrible man - I'm glad you are leaving him. I'm sure he is not a chiseled Adonis himself.

[Jellykat]

Abso- bloody- lutely!

Really wishing you so much happiness when you leave!
It's like a huge black cloud has lifted

[ivykaty44]

Ignore any personal comments he makes, he’s putting you down to make himself feel better - there won’t be anything wrong with the way you look but lots wrong with his personality

[OoohTheStatsDontLie]

Look completely normal. Good luck to him finding someone with porn tits that defy gravity

[BobFleming]

Most women in their 30s and older have boobs that look like that. Who cares?

He's a dick.

[unlikelytobe]

Her boobs are fine, your boobs are fine, he's a twat and you're well rid.

When are you going to LTB? Is everything set? Does he know? Got a great new life ahead of you, OP.

[Dhalandchips]

My xh referred to mine as 'dugs'. So glad he's an ex. Good news th

[Dhalandchips]

... that you've summoned the strength to leave.

[JoysOfString]

Agree he is just trying to say something that will upset you. He's probably realised you're self-conscious about your boobs so umped on that to attack you with.

As others have said it doesn't matter anyway, but the model's boobs are normal - plus she's a bikini model so presumably not considered hideous of boob by whoever employed her!

Breasts are soft. They are affected by gravity, so they generally sag down a bit - that's why they don't slap you around the chin! The only ones that don't hang down a bit are very small ones or augmented ones. And whatever yours are like, he's the one with the problem not you. Good riddance!