Housekeeping - am I missing something?

[overweightcat]

Our house is a bit small for us but not too bad.
We have lots of stuff but everything generally has its place and I try to declutter as and when.
We don't have a dishwasher which is a chore of its own as I feel constantly chained to the sink if I don't want a mountain of dishes at the end of the day.

I love it when it's clean, it usually builds up though and then I tackle it all in a day or two and it looks great....
But once it's clean I find that if don't go around CONSTANTLY tidying, cleaning or picking stuff up its back to a mess within a few hours. I feel that unless I never sit down and relax my house will never be clean. It's so relentless and boring.

Whenever I visit some of my friends be it planned or an unplanned visit they have beautiful immaculate houses, yes with some toys etc strewn about if they have kids but it's tidy and neat and relaxing and they always seem relaxed too.

What am I missing? Is there some secret handbook I've never read???

As you say yourself...you leave it to build up and then clear over a few days.

Having less stuff and making clearing and tidying as you go part of every day life for all the family is key.

It's normal, but some people have pretty high standards. I asked one of them once and she said 'you have to do it when you see it' eg, see a crumb on the floor, pick it up, swish and swipe the bathroom whenever you go in, wipe a dusty shelf. Having observed a friend move her family from a new build to an older house I also think older houses typically look more cluttered, harder to keep immaculate. I like to keep ours tidy enough to enjoy living in, rather than just a mad clean when someone's coming round.

Maybe make room for a dishwasher too. That saves so much time. X

I'm really sensitive to mess. The house I grew up on was so cluttered. I basically tidy constantly.
I do the dishes many times a day.
When laundry comes in, it gets put away, as part of the same task.
Rooms are tidied while the bath is running.
Once a toy is played with, it is put away.
When food is finished, the plate etc goes away.
If I notice dust/ a dirty mirror etc, I clean. It takes one minute, rather than waiting for 'cleaning day'.
I hoover about 3 tines a week.
Wipe over the bathroom every day.
If someone is coming I quickly change the teatowels and bath towels and make sure the bins are empty. It always looks ok.
I live with dh, dc aged 6, 4 and 2. I work part time and my house is big enough for us.

I think smaller houses are much more challenging to keep tidy, especially when you have a family.

Follow some minimalism groups on FB for tips - less stuff, more living.

And yes, get a dishwasher

@Barbararara Thanks for that link! You are the reason why at 6.30am I was creeping round in my dressing gown, trying not to wake my husband, as I decluttered my kitchen table. I may also have cleaned the windows and wiped some paintwork....

A massive help is a robot hoover. Ive had roombas for years, just pop them on as often as you like to clean a room or just to do under where the kids have eaten biscuits. No thought or effort and permanently clean floors. Dishwasher and tumble dryer if you can possibly manage it, both also help. We also saved and hot a robot lawn mower. It quietly mows the grass daily so its always looking good and no clippings to be tracked about.

Buy a label maker and label drawers with what you use them for and bring all items the same together so theyre not kept in multiple places around the house. Our labels are mostly off now because we're used to where things live. We also realised how much we had duplicated, hundreds of pens, screwdrivers and other things we kept replacing despite already owning multiples. Cleaning products and beauty products, once grouped made us realise we were supplied for about a year! We didn't need a cupboard overflowing with mugs, or glasses or plates. We needed enough plus a few. We only needed a couple of pans. None of us needed 30 tee-shirts. Etc, etc.
Ruthlessly declutter. You can't tidy clutter, only rearrange it. Don't have too many ornaments, so you can wipe around a room in 30 seconds easily.
Buy laundry baskets for every bedroom/bathroom. Try to hang toothbrushes etc on the wall so nothing is on the sink or surfaces so wiping only takes a couple of seconds.
Buy a waste paper basket for every room upstairs.
Once a day blast around each room with a bin bag emptying the bins, wiping/polishing all the surfaces, emptying all the laundry baskets into one yo take to the machine while the robot hoover cleans around you. You will be able to have all upstairs decent in under 5 minutes. Downstairs won't be much different.

Basically- everything that inconveniences you, slows you, or irritates you...look at it afresh and see how you can streamline and make it as simple as possible. Your time and peace of mind is worth a huge amount, so work on making your home a streamlined easy place to be.

In my experience people with very tidy houses more often than not have at least one of the following in common,

1. they spend most of their time outside of the house either working, kids in school/childcare, visiting or activities or all of those,
2. they have extra rooms, spare room, playroom, utility room, several bathrooms,
3. they don't cook much,
4. they pay a cleaner or have someone who cleans for them,*

I have/ none of these things and my house is tidy all the time, and really nice to be in. And I spent less than half an hour a day cleaning or tidying. I hoover twice a week. I’ve lived in small places and big places. I stay at friends houses and it’s so messy it’s uncomfortable to be in, it feels oppressive, tables overflowing with stuff, shelves heaving with crafts... they all have cleaners and big houses, and constantly doing housework and ‘stuff’ from cooking breakfast and lunch...

Number one for me is keeping everything simple. Very few things really and good storage. Room to breath. It really helps your head to have everything organised and it cuts down housework massively.

And I have kids and a pet!

Soreeye about the guilt behind gifts and decluttering...

When we receive an unwanted/unsightly/unsuitable gift (especially for the DC) we take pictures of the DC playing with it or wearing it. We write a proper thank you card with drawings or send a message with attached photos... and then move on. We take it to charity shop, pass it on to people who might use it etc.

I think it's about acknowledging the effort and kindness behind the present, but not feeling forced to keep something that doesn't make us happy.

People love the extra effort we put into acknowledging it and it helps assuage any feelings of guilt.

@Socialdistancegintonic
I have/ none of these things and my house is tidy all the time, and really nice to be in.
I knew someone would come along and post that, which is why I said more often than not
I'd love to know how you get away with only hoovering twice a week though. I hoover twice a week but the robot hoovers needs to be on twice a day!

@Peacocking I agree about the Roomba, which was even better before we got our cat, when we set it to go before we got up....can't risk it finding cat vomit now! As for the rest of your suggestions, it sounds brilliant but my husband and I unfortunately are in the "if we get rid of that plastic unidentified object we found on the floor, next week we'll realise it's a vital part of something" brigade. Also you're right about the clothes, but I might need that pink teeshirt that doesn't go with anything at the moment. I might buy a skirt that's an exact match..... Also all those ornaments. No problem getting rid of the ones I bought on a whim in the charity shop, but the others were gifts, and I just can't bring myself to get rid of them!

I found Mrs Hinch’s cleaning / tidying tips totally changed my house. Everything looked a bit untidy / unspecial and now everything has a place and my cleaning products now actually make things sparkle as well as clean.

OP do the marie condo (sp?) Thing and get rid of anything you don't use to start with. Friends of mine swear by the orginised mum method.

For me NO ONE gets to relax after dinner until the place is cleaned up we all get stuck in. And I always dry and put my dishes away as soon as they are done

I do little and often and then you don't seem to notice how much housework you do. I also do a task the minute I notice it needs doing so dirty fingerprints on a door I clean it straightaway rather than doing all the doors at some point in future.
Also for every item that comes into the house I get rid of an item so there is always enough space to store. I think the key is not to have more stuff than you have storage because it's easier to keep clean and tidy if you can put everything away and don't have to move things to clean under.

My house is generally always tidy. I have:

• a dishwasher which everything goes in
• a robot hoover I put on every time I leave the house and rotate between upstairs and downstairs
• a hand held hoover for quick hoovering of a room
• tons of storage so everything has a place
• I frequently declutter. If I read a book and think my friend will like it I pass it on otherwise I give to charity shop unless I loved it and think I’ll read it again. If I get a gift of some new mugs, for example, I go through the ones I have and get rid of any with chips/cracks and use the new ones. If my tea towels look horrible and stained I buy a new set and get rid of the old ones. I Just try keep on top of what is in the house in general. I also have a ‘mess cupboard’ where I just throw random bits in and clean it out every few months. I can’t stand stuff lying around the sideboard etc so it goes in there out of sight!! If anyone opened that when it’s due a clear out stuff is likely to fall out but the kitchen looks today so I’m happy!

The thing that saved me is the Organised Mum Method. It’s fucking revolutionary. I’ve got a two year old and a year old and there’s always random toys lying around but after the first 8 weeks using the TOMM the house is in such a manageable state daily. I obviously do more than just that each day but it gives me a sense of achievement if I use the app and get all those things ticked off. The rest is just pottering cleaning

Keep stuff to a minimum , bin excessive packing , I have a large bathroom cabinet it includes my cleaning stuff sorted.
Have a fair sized under stairs cupboard, small kitchen, tho fair bit of storage, Tom for toaster in cupboard too.
Dishwasher too, be bold use what space you have, avoid things ( too much that need dusting)

I clean little & often to stay on top of it. I clean first thing atm but usually do it when I get in from work before I sit down and my my body flops and I lose the will! My motto is do what needs to be done and then your time is your own. I have a routine as to what gets done when, too. I can be flexible on it but I find it keeps my expectations of what I can achieve in one session far more realistic. Some things are set days of the week or month.

Things that really help: I do things when I see them as much as possible, too. I love storage and I'm not much into clutter- a few well placed, easy to move & tasteful items, yes, a whole surface full of crap, no. I try and have a charity clear out once a quarter.

I'm naturally tidy- mess upsets me and feels disrespectful to my home if someone else causes it and doesn't rectify it. I'd love a cleaner to do my deep cleaning & the bits I hate though! Glass cleaning & skirtings and covings are the worst!

@Cdst...

I have just looked the TOMM looks great and it's easy too!

I have found by not having too much clutter it is much easier to keep a clean home.

TOMM is life changing, absolutely recommend it and there’s a one week bootcamp to get you to a good starting point for it too.

The only time my house has ever been tidy all the time was when I was doing TOMM.

Just be mindful of the peom, dust if you must, written by a lady over proud who became ill.
Suns it up

Just be mindful of the peom, dust if you must Tbf this poem is used as a get out of your responsibilities. It is mostly used by people who justify living in chaos.

OP I'm exactly the same. I feel like I'm CONSTANTLY tidying (in reality, I'm not, I'm generally sat on my arse playing with my phone) because our house is just too small for us. There's stuff everywhere. I don't think I'm a hoarder as such but I'm not ruthless enough with the kids stuff. There's just nowhere to PUT anything
Me, and two DC (10 and 6)
I'm in constant awe of people who have spotless homes. I'm in a state of embarrassed panic if anyone pops round here unexpectedly