Housekeeping - am I missing something?

[overweightcat]

Our house is a bit small for us but not too bad.
We have lots of stuff but everything generally has its place and I try to declutter as and when.
We don't have a dishwasher which is a chore of its own as I feel constantly chained to the sink if I don't want a mountain of dishes at the end of the day.

I love it when it's clean, it usually builds up though and then I tackle it all in a day or two and it looks great....
But once it's clean I find that if don't go around CONSTANTLY tidying, cleaning or picking stuff up its back to a mess within a few hours. I feel that unless I never sit down and relax my house will never be clean. It's so relentless and boring.

Whenever I visit some of my friends be it planned or an unplanned visit they have beautiful immaculate houses, yes with some toys etc strewn about if they have kids but it's tidy and neat and relaxing and they always seem relaxed too.

What am I missing? Is there some secret handbook I've never read???

[Dizzybet74]

Same op - house on the small side, too much clutter and no.dishwasher!

[helpIhateclothesshopping]

Getting a dishwasher was a game changer for us. I wasn't convinced initially as it meant losing a cupboard in an already small kitchen, but it does mean dirty plates etc can be tidied into the dishwasher before going out so it's not as bad. However the rest of our house is still a cluttered tip.

[totalinsomniac]

You need The Organised Mum Method-Team TOMM. Look it up on Facebook. 30 mins a day

[Tubs11]

I tidy as I go, kids are young so it inevitability gets messy two minutes later but makes me happy and isn't such an arduous task at the end of the day as it never really mounts up. Oh and we got a dishwasher this year and it really is a game changer

[Secondsop]

A previous poster talked about setting up the house for how you use it and I really think this is the key. I’m not a paragon of tidiness BY ANY MEANS but we do what we can to make our lives easier according to how we move around the spaces and use them, rather than fighting with the flow of the house all the time. Eg we have organised places to drop things if we know we won’t be arsed to always put them away. And I have little holding pen places so that if stuff is going to gather at least it does so in a reasonably tidy fashion rather than one that stresses me out. Eg in the family room I have one of those little metal trolleys and when we clear the dining table / craft dumping ground to use it for a meal we put stuff on that trolley for the duration rather than trying to put everything back into storage. You do then need to sort the holding pens out at some point but at least you’re not living in a messy way that makes you feel uncomfortable. I find it exhausting to be putting things away all the time and equally exhausting to have piles of stuff on surfaces. At my MIL’s house for example they always use the back patio door cos it’s nearer where the cars are parked, but have NO storage in that area so there’s always a pile of shoes there, and then there is NOWHERE at all to put a handbag / car keys / satnav etc so it’s either on the kitchen counter or is put away in bedrooms and it drives me nuts.

[FelicisNox]

What you are missing is that your friends tidy up before you come over.

Housework is relentless for all of us.

[vanillandhoney]

@FelicisNox

What you are missing is that your friends tidy up before you come over.

Housework is relentless for all of us.

Not everyone has to tidy up before they have guests! I don't understand why this is thrown about so often on here. Some of us genuinely have tidy houses all the time.

My house is always "guest ready" as MN would put it (not that I ever have guests) because I don't like living in mess and I can't relax if things aren't clean and tidy. I just do 30 minutes or so a day to keep on top of everything (litter trays, vacuuming, dishes, laundry) and then I never need to do a big clean. I do things like spray around the bathroom after I've had a shower so it's not a separate chore of it's own.

Because I do a little everyday, it never gets the chance to get really messy.

[MsMeNz]

I surgest with dishes only have exact amount of for people in House plus one extra (get rid of rest except enough for guests you keep in Attic or shed or somewhere harder to get) and if t forces to people to clean as they go rather than massive stacks of dishes.

[Allmyeye]

Definitely get a dishwasher if you possibly can. I love mine. Not only can dirty crockery be hidden in it but it saves time too. My tumbler was my favourite appliance before I got it but no longer. As for the rest of it. I wish I had the answer.

[Winecheesesleep]

Another TOMM convert here although it's very early days. So far so good though! It's living room day today and it was looking brilliant after less than 30 minutes. I really enjoyed not having to worry about it over the weekend too.

I've also done Marie Kondo for decluttering which I'd highly recommend. It's taken me ages and a couple of goes in some rooms but it really is helpful and has reduced what I bring into the house.

[Queenest]

Chuck it all away. She has nothing to clean.

[JaniceWebster]

Not everyone has to tidy up before they have guests! I don't understand why this is thrown about so often on here. Some of us genuinely have tidy houses all the time.

Of course!

I actually never understand why anyone feels the need to tidy up for guests but not for people who are actually living there full time. So much unnecessary stress.

[Socialdistancegintonic]

@vanillandhoney and others, I’m with you, the idea that you have to spend hours a day just to have a tidy clean house is crazy!

Be ruthless with clutter and get rid of over half your stuff. You don’t need it! Honestly it’s so freeing not to have clutter. And I would recommend stop doing half the cooking and ‘stuff’, we just don’t need to. Washing once a week. Hovering twice. Bathrooms once. Kitchen just clean every time you cook.

[notso]

@Socialdistancegintonic
I thought you were going to hold the key to a 'bit' free floor! We must be a crumby family as this issue has travelled with us from our previous house although thankfully we no longer have a slate floor that shows every tiny speck of dust. Thank goodness for the robot vacuum he never complains

[Scotland32]

My husband is SO messy and my kids are small so I feel the same. I like the ‘never leave a room empty handed’ advice and I also subscribe to the ‘one touch’ rule. Never just move something...when you touch it, put it away. For example: come into house, put coat on back of a chair (my husband does this...annoying!) then someone has to touch it a second time to put it away. Wasted time. Put it on the hook with the first touch. I’ve even started implementing this with kids and husband and sometimes they do it! A similar thing is to get the kids to pick up 5 things each and put them away. It’s a manageable task and can make a difference.
Also, set a timer for 5/10/15 minutes and get everyone to tidy up as much as possible in that time. It’s amazing what can be done.
Can’t help with the dishwasher dilemma - I would never be without one and would have no time for any of my above suggestions if I didn’t have one!
So I sympathise!

[PotteryLottery]

You need less stuff.

So, a place for everything and everything in its place.

[CarterBeatsTheDevil]

Both of my grandmothers kept absolutely immaculate homes (they were married in the 30s-40s so not of a generation where the men did any housework ). They did it by spending a good chunk of the morning hoovering, dusting and cleaning and then as other people came home or visited they were constantly in motion picking things up, moving around, washing up constantly. We don't expect our house to be immaculate in that way because we both work, but we are very big on not having more stuff than we have space for and on everything we do have living in a specific place. So we're generally no more than 20 minutes away from a guest-friendly house and people tend to let us know if they are popping over. But even so it is kind of about picking up as you go and putting stuff away as soon as you have finished with it, I think. My husband (and his dad) both do a lot of housekeeping, including cleaning and laundry, and that makes it miles easier. But it is hard to keep a house with rampaging kids neat.

[lovinglavidaloca]

I’m not sure how old your kids are but we have the issue of no dishwasher either and absolutely no space to get one. I’ve started making everyone wash up their own bowl, plate, cutlery or whatever after every meal. It takes less than a minute for each person but save me spending 20 minutes multiple times per day washing dishes. Absolutely recommend.

[melj1213]

Tbh it's all about keeping on top of things, using systems that are functional (even if they arent pretty) and ensuring it is easier to put things away than get them out so there is no excuse for not tidying up.

My hallway is non-existent, there is a small recess just behind the door so I installed a cheap set of drawers. There are two small hooks on either side of the recess, one for me and one for DD - only the coat we are using that day goes on the hook, any others go into the hall cupboard (which is the only storage in our flat so not practical to be accessing multiple times a day). Each of us have a drawer for stuff we bring in (bag/folders/hats/shopping bags/scarves/sunglasses etc) and the bottom drawer is for work/school shoes so we know where they are in the morning. The top has a dish for keys, a cup with pens and post its and a money box for loose change (DD uses it f she needs extra change for bus fare etc). Anyone who comes in will see an empty hallway because all of our clutter is behind the door and hidden in drawers.

[ReturnOfTheMc]

I am in the minority I see. I have a dishwasher for the first time in my life and I don't see the appeal. Things so look messy sitting beside the sink but in my house they get cleaned quicker than if I have to wait for a full load. When the dishwasher is going I feel a warm glow, love the sound but until then yuck, I feel like it's so dirty in there. Or I'm doing it wrong - stacking and unstacking and restacking dirty stuff. Or thinking oh this big bowl is hardly dirty at all and will take up lots of space I'll just hand wash this one....Oh and that one needs a rinse oops I've cleaned it entirely now anyway.....or taking dirty stuff out (yuck) because my toddler is requesting the pink bowl and I haven't turned the wash on yet.....
I use mine for storage mostly, but as I say, I know they're very popular with everyone else.

[ChocAuVin]

Marie Kondo changed my life. I was late thirties and chronically untidy when I read it. My entire mindset and perspective shifted and it all just seemed to click for the first time ever.

The game changer was to tidy by category, not location. This for me translated into organise by category, and have only one location in your home for each (wherever possible).

I realised I was a macro organiser, not a micro organiser. No label makers and endless tiny boxes sorted into the minutiae. One location for electrical miscellany. One single box file for paperwork (now utterly ruthless in that regard). One bookshelf for only those books I truly love or intend to read. Etc.

[Letsgetthishousesold]

I’ve just started a 30 day decluttering challenge thread in housekeeping if anyone is interested!

[Socialdistancegintonic]

@notso I don’t let the kids eat anywhere but the kitchen, if that helps! I’m allowed, which is annoying to them but I don’t care, I have to clean! I know my teenage DS sneaks up crisps to his room which is fine. His mess!

[CoolDad2020]

It’s known as OCD.....get over it, accept it and relax in your own space 💙

[Apple1029]

I have a big house and it's pretty neat and clean even with a toddler. Dh and I both keep on top of things.
There isnt crumbs and food on the floor because we either eat at the table or my ds eats at his table in his playroom. Teach your kids to eat in one place.
Do you have space for a dishwasher? that saves hours of your life.
Dh and I spend one night a week doing a thorough clean - mopping, vacuuming, moving furniture , dusting etc.
Even if your dp works long hours he can still do a little - clean up the bathroom after he uses it, tidy up kitchen after use, etc. Every night we do a quick 20min tidy up before bed.
I think you can be a bit more organized/have a routine. I also dont think it uncommon to have neat, immaculate homes with a family. Everyone has to pitch in.
I also find the untidiest homes have alot of clutter. Everything in my home has its place. There arent things stacked around the house, or unecessary items lying around. We also have a toy box in the main rooms so that's part of the tidy up routine.
I think you can get both your DC to start doing chores- even little things like putting their clothes/toys away, bowls back to the kitchen when they are done.
If you dont start teaching them to do that, you will end up being the only one doing anything.