Housekeeping - am I missing something?

[overweightcat]

Our house is a bit small for us but not too bad.
We have lots of stuff but everything generally has its place and I try to declutter as and when.
We don't have a dishwasher which is a chore of its own as I feel constantly chained to the sink if I don't want a mountain of dishes at the end of the day.

I love it when it's clean, it usually builds up though and then I tackle it all in a day or two and it looks great....
But once it's clean I find that if don't go around CONSTANTLY tidying, cleaning or picking stuff up its back to a mess within a few hours. I feel that unless I never sit down and relax my house will never be clean. It's so relentless and boring.

Whenever I visit some of my friends be it planned or an unplanned visit they have beautiful immaculate houses, yes with some toys etc strewn about if they have kids but it's tidy and neat and relaxing and they always seem relaxed too.

What am I missing? Is there some secret handbook I've never read???

[willowmelangell]

Can I recommend Cookology Table Top Dishwasher? Looks smart. Not too big. Loads say, 4 dinner plates, 4 cups, 2 breakfast bowls and all the cutlery and serving spoons you can wish for. It is a doddle. Place on draining board. Plug in. Place waste pipe in sink. Take supplied jug and fill it with hot water until it beeps. Select program and off you go. Just less water than a small square washing up bowl. Game changer in my house
Disclaimer here. Not big enough for roasting dishes or oven shelves.
I deliberately bought a set of small chopping boards so they would fit in. Easy peasy.
Bought through Quidco on Ebay. Cashback. Kerching!

[LakieLady]

@1Morewineplease, that's such rubbish.

Everyone knows that the defrosting chicken goes in the oven.

Unless it's in the bidet ...

[overweightcat]

Glad to know I'm not alone!

I have friends where you could literally pop in unannounced and could eat off their floor so I know it's not just a quick mad dash before guests arrive.
I have a 5yo and 2yo , DP and Ddog. DP works very long hours and I'm basically a SAHM. 5yo tidies after play gets themselves dressed and makes own bed but stubborn toddler runs off when I play the tidy up song

It's everything though, Ddog steals socks (I really don't know where she gets them from as I try to be vigilant) and I am always finding them in the garden, toddler is a 5* sneaky distributor of toys, there isn't a room where I won't find a toy of some sort which I'm constantly taking back downstairs, tiny bathroom means it gets dirty in 5seconds, I vacuum and 10mins later there's crumbs or something on the floor, I'm sure the dishes are breeding themselves, DCs like to dress themselves and I usually find stray bits of clothing strewn about in random places upstairs that I'm constantly picking up.

[speakout]

I sympathise OP. We are a family of 5 and am a carer to two adults- I also work full time.

A dishwasher is a game changer.
It keeps the kitchen tidy- so all the dirty stuff is stored in the washer until the load is full- worktops and sinks are always clear.

I would also suggest living a minimal life. We don't need as many things as we think- I hate clutter and "stuff"- clothes, cosmetics, shoes, bags ornaments, even towels- think about what you actually use. Get rid of things you don't need.

[SionnachGlic]

Mine is the same...too much clutter, always feels untidy (I'm not a hoarder either)... but to be fair...maybe a bit dusty by w/e but not often dirty...altho my shower tray is a fair challenge. I work fulltime & travel a bit so I couldn't possibly keep on top of it. I'm not the type to do a room an eve despite my frequent resolutions! I despair if I hear visitors coming especially overnighters... every one else's guest rooms look perfect...my house feels like a student house to me. There are 2 here... lots of sports gear.. kitchen like a lauderette, wardrobes on floor some of time. I may as well talk to the wall. I keep thinking when they move out (like a mantra). ... but until then....ever untidy.

[Somethingkindaoooo]

OP
you sing the song of many...

[Dailyjunglegrind]

A dishwasher helps, keep dishes cleared away. Personally, I need clean worktops. Depending on your kitchen space - keeping worktops clean and clean helps with visual space and cleanliness.

For every family home having open 'breathing" space & storage is key. Clutter is clutter & it is in every house, look hard enough everyone has some... trick is, every bag that comes in the door, needs a bag going out to balance the clutter. I often have a few piles ready to go to the recycling depot/charity/selling etc.. if you have children you need to clear and rid swiftly before the clutter embeds itself again.
A handy dyson vac once a day helps with visual crumbs/ dust etc... proper clean should be twice weekly minimum. Lockdown, has shifted this to almost daily. Honestly, this is the reality and domestic impact of keeping the house clean with family 24/7. Its impossible unless your single, and as a mother, and an utterly thankless task every day.

I try really to keep entry & entertaining spaces clear and clean for any unexpected guests that often pop by.. most people can see the difference between family life and unkept. Sometimes a quick spray and clean of zoflora each day keeps spaces fresh smelling inbetween proper cleans.

[Whattheduck]

I tend to tidy as I go .I work 3 days a week Friday I work 8-6 but the other 2 days work 1 morning and 1 afternoon
My dd who is 15 cleans the house top to bottom on a Friday and she also empties the dishwasher daily.
I usually whizz the Hoover round every day and I’ll clean the bathroom and kitchen every day and empty the bins
I put laundry away as soon as it’s dry and I’ll wash most days.I change the beds once a week
Once a month I’ll have a declutter and tidy wardrobes/drawers
I hate clutter

[FinallyHere]

But once it's clean I find that if don't go around CONSTANTLY tidying, cleaning or picking stuff up

Everything in the house has a place, and everything is kept in its place. Everyone in the house needs to follow the rules that you 'don't put it down, put in away'

[PlanDeRaccordement]

@CareBear50

A tip I once heard was and constantly abide by is......never leave a room empty handed.

In other words I guess, tidy up as you go buy always leaving s room with something in your hand is a great practical reminder

This is great advice. It saves so much time.

[Twillow]

I think the key words are
"we have lots of stuff"
and
"everything generally has its place"

If you want your house to be completely clutter-free you really have to reduce what you have to the extent that there is empty space in a lot of places. If you want to be relaxed about it and not always be tidying p, anyway.
The other thing is to make sure other people are also engaged and doing their share, not just you.

I'm hopeless at both, I have to say, but I don't really mind mess.

[AlexTheLittleCat]

You are definitely not alone...

Dishwasher would be a game changer, even if you have to sacrifice a cupboard, it is worth it!

Tumble dryer is very useful in winter if the wet laundry piles up (I find I don't need to use it in the summer and most of spring/autumn).

Tidy as you go as much as you can - never leave a room empty handed. That helps as the tidying doesn't stack for a later time which never comes.

Declutter - it's much easier to clean a decluttered house. And get storage after you have decluttered.

I've started looking at Flylady, she does different zones every week and I think it may be useful for long term decluttering/tidying.

There are decluttering and Flylady threads on Housekeeping.

My house is still a tip, but it's getting better .

[user2085375632]

If you came to my house it’s always clean and tidy. I am always cleaning, tidying and picking stuff up. I don’t stop all day and I don’t relax in a room that isn’t tidy. Our children and 4,3 and 2 by the way. Sometimes I have to leave the kitchen a bit messy in the mornings, but it will always be tidy again after lunch.

Honestly- don’t feel too envious. The tidying is a a type of addiction and I miss out on my children tidying up after them. It’s also totally exhausting.

However, my tips would be:

1. Get a roomba hoover. Mine was £189 and I put it on all the time. Each room gets hoovered several times a week for about 2 mins effort. You just need to pick things off the floor. I hoover the entrance a few times a day.
   

1. Children not really allowed upstairs in the daytime, this stops mess.
   

1. If you leave a room ask yourself ‘is there anything in here that doesn’t belong?’ And take it to it’s correct place.
   

1. Buckets for shoes by each door
   

1. Bring washing downstairs each time and have a washing basket downstairs so that you can always put a wash on if it piles up.
   

Declutter as much as you can.

[1Morewineplease]

FFS @LakieLady ! The dog’s in the oven with the ironing pile! 🙄

[undercoveraessedai]

I live on my own and also feel like this, my home is beautiful and filled with lovely things, but always an actual disaster zone tidiness wise. No answer, but solidarity!

[Fanciedachange1]

Op i wish i had the answer! I have a dh who doesn’t seem to notice clutter and rubbish and thinks i am being ott wanting it clean and tidy.

For me the only time i have ever liked the look of my house was when we were selling it and it had to be pristine for the photos and easily maintained for the short notice viewings.

As we were moving anyway it was a good time to have a real de clutter and deep clean.

Is there anyway you and your partner could set aside some time to really sort through what you need and what you could part with? Its easy to keep hold of stuff without even realising that you even have it! Stuff stuffed in drawers is out of sight but taking up room that could be used for stuff you do use but dont want on show.

Everything is easier said that done but i like to do a quick sweep before bed and clear the surfaces of rubbish, cups, things that have just been lying around and put them where they need to be.

I dont work weds or weekends so i spend those days doing dusting, hoovering, cleaning etc and the other days just do little bits to stop it building up.

I try and focus on a few areas. For me its downstairs first and the bathroom. Nobody else sees upstairs so i do that when i can!

[Socialdistancegintonic]

My house stays tidy, and I have kids. However I just don’t spread things about, and nor do men kids. The teenage bedroom is a complete mess though!

It’s so nice, I just don’t have to tidy very much. After dinner I clean up right away, and have a dishwasher. No food is eaten in the living room except by me! Teenagers far too messy they can eat in the kitchen. Coats go in the cupboard or hung off bannister. Shoes by stairs. That is it really, why is everything been left everywhere?

[Standrewsschool]

No one sent me that manual either.

I’ve concluded there are two types of people, those clear up as they go along, and those who need a purpose to do it. I’m the latter. I do try and do it weekly, and will definantly do it if we have visitors, but can’t seem to maintain that Showhome look.

[QuestionMarkNow]

With two dcs at that age, what I did was to move toys in a specific room and let that room get messy whilst the rest is staying (relatively!) tidy.

So we had toys in the conervatory and bedrooms but not the living room for example.

Re your friends - how old are their dcs? Much easier with teo teens than a toddler!

[rc22]

I am extremely lazy but if I am sitting down watching TV, I make myself get up and tidy every time there's a commercial break. It's amazing how much I get done! Doesn't work too well if spend an evening watching the BBC. There's only me and my husband though so no toys or kids' stuff to tidy. We do have a bit of a rota on the go though. So if I cook husband washes up and vice versa. At the weekend whilst one of us goes out to do the "big shop" the other cleans the bathroom.

[silverstrawberry]

I've recently found I can stay on top of things if I tidy one hour early each morning the main lounge and then choose one other room each day. Then leave it or you will get tired of housework! also give yourself one day off a week.
If the kids leave stuff or make a mess call them out in it everytime and make them clean it you have done your cleaning and set the bar they can now follow your standard

[CoolCarrie]

In the last three weeks the dishwasher, tumble dryer and microwave have all packed in, and it’s been a pain , especially the tumble dryer as it rains very heavily here at this time of year. Last Tuesday I bought a new dryer, microwave, delivered on Wednesday and working on dh for a dishwasher, and I recommend you get one , it makes a huge difference.

[user12699422578]

window-washing robot gadget

rushes off to Google

[Standrewsschool]

@rc22 I do the advert thing as well.

[Ginkypig]

Everyone I know who has a tidy house either has a big house (that isn't packed with lots of children/family) so there is lots of places to hide things or are the type who don't have a lot of "stuff" or things on top of the basics everyone needs to run a home.

I am in a small house and have things that aren't classed as essential books, sewing machine, knitting, pet stuff including fish tanks with the associated things needed like nets pumps and buckets etc, DVDs,cds and video games, ornaments and pictures, gardening stuff, tools, house plants, and the list goes on. I keep it as tidy as possible and as much as possible is stored away out of site and only taken out when in use but it's never going to be magazine perfect. For me that's ok because these are either used things or that I enjoy or enrich my life in some way. It's not really untidy though!

Every single item that is on top of essential is stuff that creates clutter. It's stuff that adds to the untidiness of a house.