Housekeeping - am I missing something?

[overweightcat]

Our house is a bit small for us but not too bad.
We have lots of stuff but everything generally has its place and I try to declutter as and when.
We don't have a dishwasher which is a chore of its own as I feel constantly chained to the sink if I don't want a mountain of dishes at the end of the day.

I love it when it's clean, it usually builds up though and then I tackle it all in a day or two and it looks great....
But once it's clean I find that if don't go around CONSTANTLY tidying, cleaning or picking stuff up its back to a mess within a few hours. I feel that unless I never sit down and relax my house will never be clean. It's so relentless and boring.

Whenever I visit some of my friends be it planned or an unplanned visit they have beautiful immaculate houses, yes with some toys etc strewn about if they have kids but it's tidy and neat and relaxing and they always seem relaxed too.

What am I missing? Is there some secret handbook I've never read???

I got rid of my husband - that reduced the mess a lot!

I am naturally tidy and everything has a place, if it doesn't then something else has to go. I also tidy up after I use something and my husband does the same. If either of us didn't do that I can see how things can get messy quite quickly.

We also have set days for certain things, like I always do a full clean of the bathroom and steam mop all floors on Saturday. It means I spent about 15 - 20 mins housework a day. I also don't have kids which is the main difference.

We dont take food out of the kitchen and all the dc only eat at the table - that reduces messes enormously (obviously if we are having a party its a bit different)

We only have a few toys out at a time and then I rotate them every couple of weeks, that means there are fewer bits to be scattered. The toys that are not being played with are in plastic boxes in a cupboard that is shut and dc have to ask to get stuff out of.

We only have 1 soap, 1 shampoo and 1 conditioner in the bathroom that we all use. I did use to have a baby soap as well but they dont need the extra gentle one any more

I have really simplified what foods I buy, so its always the same pasta shape etc which reduces the amount of food clutter

We have a rule that if its in the basket on the stairs when you walk by, you have to pick it up and put it in its home. If you walk by it and ignore it (and I catch you, you get a 10 item penalty immediately). Having the stair basket means you can blitz tidy a space and have all the stuff to be returned waiting on the stairs for the next available hand to put it in the right room.

I have started storing things where they end up living most of the time, rather than where I think they should live. So I have a basket of shoes by the door and a basket of socks too. Clean socks get put straight into the basket and shoes get kicked into the basket as soon as they walk through the door.

And definitely get a dishwasher if you possibly can.

I have 4 dc and no cleaner at the moment (shielding) and the house is still pretty tidy

I don't know the secret.

When I've been to other's houses who are tidy, they either have no kids, or older kids, and a much bigger house.

I have a mostly tidy downstairs. Upstairs is a different story, but then again, I don’t invite guests up there.

Re dishwashers, there was a man on the radio recently joking about having two dishwashers, so as soon as you turn one on you start loading the other one. He might not have been serious, but what a genius idea.

I've got a small dishwasher. Half size one. It's on 3 times a day sometimes. 3 people in my house. Without the dishwasher I absolutely couldn't cope. Something else would have to give.

I try and declarer often and I use the TOMM method. Its been a game changer for me. People may see toys around the place as I've 2 young children but it is always clean.

Get a table top dishwasher and try TOMM ( the organised Mum method). It'll be a life changer.

In response to all the put everything behibd closed doors pp:

images.app.goo.gl/dj856rEE8tTKS8Ag7

You're allowed to have stuff!
It doesn't all need to be plain minimalist and all behind cupboard doors.
A friendly warm home with books, plants, ornaments, toys, throws, cushions, magazines and open shelves full of treasures, won Britain's best home TV programme recently. I cheered!

For me the only time i have ever liked the look of my house was when we were selling it and it had to be pristine for the photos and easily maintained for the short notice viewings.

Here you go. Is the "lifestyle" that goes with that look worth it for you?
If you think it's too much faff and you are happy as is, then good.
If you feel happier and stress free arriving and living in a more tidy home, then do it, step by step.

For me, it's never going to bed in a messy house. Dishwasher is on last thing, and I have a quick look round to tidy whatever needs to be tidy.

I personally clean first thing in the morning and NEVER at the weekend which has been declared chore-free. It has been slightly harder during the lockdown, because not running for a train meant I felt less pushed to rush through and get everything done.
Also the house is obviously less pristine when we are all in it.

You need to work room by room. WHAT makes the room messy, how can you change it? What do you NEED, what can you maintain?
If you use the kettle 25 times a day, storing it in a cupboard won't work. You won't spend your life putting it in and out again. If you use the kettle once a week, then put away.

Shoes.. if you are a shoes-off house and people remove them, where do they go immediately? Thrown on the floor in a pile? Hidden in a cabinet? In a pile in a big basket so it doesn't look a mess?

Handbag (or keys/phone/ changing bag...) where do you put them? Does it look messy?

Just work logically based on your own life, targeting a "show house" look if you like.

A poster once decided to become her own cleaner, and work as if she was paid (and keeping the cash for herself). Genius as she manage A LOT and earn herself a nice treat.

images.app.goo.gl/dj856rEE8tTKS8Ag7

that coffee table makes me want to grab everything on it and put it away Looks messy and no space to put anything on it.

Of course a tidy home, even a show home, doesn't have to mean empty and sterile! You just see the nice bits more when they are not hidden in piles of stuff, and you save so much time not spending your life looking for things...

Embrace the mess

When I visit friends I message in advance saying “no need to tidy I like mess”, then you get the real feeling for how people live and you don’t feel so inadequate

I feel the same!

Dishwasher is a game changer imo. My kitchen is so much tidier with one.
You NEED one!
As for housework. One 'big' clean a week, then a quick tidy/ wipe over/ sweep every day, 15 mins max

Try and get a dishwasher it’s a game changer,
Try and eat all meals at the table, stops crumbs all over house, even do snack time at table.
Try and give the dog a good brush outside every day, and take to groomers every three month to keep dog hair down.
Get the best hoover you can afford.
Only do washing once you have checked that the weather is going to be dry the next morning so you can get it our side to dry first thing in morning., because nothing makes a house look untidy like washing hanging around or if you have space and money buy a dryer.
And keep decluttering, we all just have to much stuff

Make your children tidy up before playing with something else. Use rewards! Get a dishwasher and put in all dirty plates through out the day. I have one and it's a life saver. This way no one can see the mess and you turn it on, once full.

The secret is less clutter and more storage. You can never have too much storage.

We never go to bed without tidying the living room and kitchen. Every Thursday we clear all residual mess and put everything away so that when the house is cleaned on Friday it looks fab.

Children are never too young past the age of 2 to put toys away as long as you have somewhere for them to go.

When mine were small we tidied before bed every day into a box in the living room. Stilll there but unseen.

I sincerely hope this thread refers to partners/husbands also.

Women's work is never done otherwise. So kick ass ladies, and grab a coffee while your partner does the work.

I have him well trained! But he is retired now and full of energy and will do what he is told to do. That is not meant to be controlling, rather, a hey, this and that might need a bit of a clean love. Answer, oh ok, will do!

They can be blind to a lot of things.

• Take photos on your phone of any paperwork hanging around, including recipes, takeaway menus, school letters etc. Then file in albums on your phone and throw out the paperwork.
• Robot vacuum
• Get rid of at least one item per day that you don’t need - it soon adds up. Less clutter equals less mess and less dusting.
• Say yes to the dishwasher!

My very organised DIL has storage for everything. Not expensive she buys most things from Aldi, B&M Home bargains. She has lots of cupboards, storage units, into these go boxes, she has a label maker for them so that everyone in the house knows what goes where. Some storage are those square fabric boxes that go into units for toys, then toy boxes in each bedroom. Her kitchen is something she intends to replace and you just know it will be an organised one.

So storage is the secret I decided. My windowsills slowly fill up with stuff which I intend to have a go at tomorrow. My family are not tidy and I am not a constant nagger water off a ducks back here. I do now have storage boxes for a lot of things.

We needed a new bed so I went for one of those ones that lift up for storage, wow that is ace. All the winter shoes, boots, bags are stored away in there now. Reverse it with summer stuff in the winter.

Marie Kondo, 15 books, yeah right

I have the same issue and I live alone - although with several messy cats! I honestly don't think we notice other people's house mess and tend to be more critical of our own. The older I get the less I care anyway - people can take me as they find me, and if they don't like it too bad!

It's like sweeping leaves in a hurricane. I totally feel your pain

Women will never be free until we never have to clean a house again on our own. But it seems to be mostly accepted that we will. Ugh.

We push out the kids in terrible pain, suffer the pregnancy time (not all but many do), and the Dads go off to work again after two weeks. Nice.

I think I am going to identify as a man.

Incidentally, I can remember as a teenager my parents would sometimes call in on friends who lived in the countryside. They had several children and their house was usually messy. However, what I remember is the welcome they always gave us - it felt as though we had brightened their lives with our visit and I always left the house with a warm glow. That is what is important, the way you treat visitors to your home, not the tidiness of your home.