Housekeeping - am I missing something?

[overweightcat]

Our house is a bit small for us but not too bad.
We have lots of stuff but everything generally has its place and I try to declutter as and when.
We don't have a dishwasher which is a chore of its own as I feel constantly chained to the sink if I don't want a mountain of dishes at the end of the day.

I love it when it's clean, it usually builds up though and then I tackle it all in a day or two and it looks great....
But once it's clean I find that if don't go around CONSTANTLY tidying, cleaning or picking stuff up its back to a mess within a few hours. I feel that unless I never sit down and relax my house will never be clean. It's so relentless and boring.

Whenever I visit some of my friends be it planned or an unplanned visit they have beautiful immaculate houses, yes with some toys etc strewn about if they have kids but it's tidy and neat and relaxing and they always seem relaxed too.

What am I missing? Is there some secret handbook I've never read???

[vanillandhoney]

@Nsky

Just be mindful of the peom, dust if you must, written by a lady over proud who became ill.
Suns it up

Hmm, but there's a balance, isn't there?

You can have a tidy home and do plenty of other things too. I have to say, that poem gets on my nerves as it mostly seems to be used by people who try and justify why it's acceptable to live in a dump.

[Fatted]

You really need to be ruthless with 'clutter' and 'stuff'. We moved house last year and got rid of so much crap. Toys that weren't being played with, clothes and shoes that didn't get worn, CDs, DVDs, books etc. Kitchen utensils and accessories that didn't get used etc. Toiletries that were given as gifts that never get used. I also try to have a cull of stuff every six months or so. Everything needs to have a home and a place. It goes back into it's place once it's finished with. Nag the kids to tidy up after themselves at the end of the day.

Having a spare room since we moved has been a blessing for us. Everyone's wardrobe and drawers live in there now. Wash basket and clean washing pile go in there along with the hoover and an airer for drying clothes. I close the door and I don't see it.

With the kitchen, the dishes get done and surfaces get wiped down after each meal. Downstairs gets hovered every day (it's all open plan) usually after tea. When something needs done, do it there and then. So the bin and recycling go out usually after tea. I don't have the pile of stuff on the dining table, it either gets put away in its place or it goes in the bin. Everything else can usually be done once or twice a week. I do stuff like put washing away or wash the bathroom while the kids are in the bath (clean the bath once they're done obviously!). Clean downstairs loo or mop downstairs while tea is cooking.

You do need to get everyone on the same page as well though. I don't do all of this alone, DH does his share. Usually it's a case of I'll do this if you do that.

[JaniceWebster]

You can have a tidy home and do plenty of other things too

I'd even argue that the tidier the house, the more free time you have! It's much easier to maintain a tidy home than to clean and tidy frantically.
You never waste time looking for lost stuff, and that saves so much stress.
Packing for weekends or holidays is a breeze, last -minute or any visitor in general is pain free.

I even found that a quick clean every day takes me less time overall than wasting my Saturday would.

For some of us, it also a lot better for our mental health. I truly enjoy my evenings a lot more if I am not faced with a pile of stuff that needs to be done, needs to be tidy up and put somewhere.

Whilst I don't really care what other people's house look like frankly, I like my home clean and tidy. It's irrational, but laundry drying on every corner really pisses me off, so i don't have any.

[vanillandhoney]

@JaniceWebster

You can have a tidy home and do plenty of other things too

I'd even argue that the tidier the house, the more free time you have! It's much easier to maintain a tidy home than to clean and tidy frantically.
You never waste time looking for lost stuff, and that saves so much stress.
Packing for weekends or holidays is a breeze, last -minute or any visitor in general is pain free.

I even found that a quick clean every day takes me less time overall than wasting my Saturday would.

For some of us, it also a lot better for our mental health. I truly enjoy my evenings a lot more if I am not faced with a pile of stuff that needs to be done, needs to be tidy up and put somewhere.

Whilst I don't really care what other people's house look like frankly, I like my home clean and tidy. It's irrational, but laundry drying on every corner really pisses me off, so i don't have any.

Absolutely, I'm the same!

My house is spotless because I like it that way. I do about thirty minutes of housework spread over the day, plus cooking on top of that. It's really not that time consuming and means I have weekends free to do whatever I want.

[Soreeye]

I feel so much more free when the house is tidy (ie never). When it’s a mess you’ve got a constant feeling of guilt because you should be doing x, y and z to get it sorted.

[LannieDuck]

You have young kids - trying to keep things tidy feels like a losing battle at that age. Aim for clean and controlled rather than spotlessly tidy.

[JaniceWebster]

Why? You can keep a nice house even with young kids. When they are playing, there are toys around. When they are finished with one thing, you teach them to put it way, it's very obvious if young kids are jumping from one thing to the other or have abandoned something.

You hoover, they "dust".
You tidy one room, you leave them one shelf or drawer to "explore"...
Just work with and around them. I used to wait to watch tv to fold laundry when mine were really little: it didn't feel like a chore then, and it was rather faster without them "helping". Anything else is fine...

[DCIHoops]

You’re not missing anything OP but I am just one year away from getting a housekeeper provided I still have work post COVID.

I want someone to do all the shopping, cooking and cleaning and to bring in a tray of tea at 4 pm (decided after reading what the housekeeper did in the James Herriot books). It will be total blissful luxury

[Frozenfrogs86]

I do about three hours housework a day, my house still has mountains of laundry and a number of very messy rooms. It’s a large house and we have two small children who are mostly at home during the day, plus both adults at home. If only I could keep my house clean and tidy on 30mins a day!

[JaniceWebster]

I do about three hours housework a day,

Blimey, you need to read TOMM fast. What you need is a "bootcamp" when you put everything back in order once for all. THEN you can maintain.

I have 4 kids, I love a show-house and I most certainly do not do 3 hours a day! I physically couldn't fit them between working FT, school work, taking the kids for exercise...

[bobbikato]

Sorry if already said - but the secret is to have a garage with access door from inside the house .
When ever i have visited these super neat house they always have boxes piled high in the garage with kids toys,charity clothes etc
their car is parked on the driveway all year round .
And they eat out three times a day - so no washing up .

[ChocolateChipMuffin2016]

Gemma from team TOMM says, “you can’t clean clutter” which is why my house looks like a shit hole . I can’t help you OP, I’m crap tbh, I had hoped furlough would mean I could get on top of it but it’s worse! Then again I have 2 small kids (1 and 3) and my husband thinks he’s great but is in fact a hoarder (not tv worthy but likes his ‘collections’). I also have a lot of excuses! I do really try but I find unless I clean all day every day then it doesn’t stay clean and I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life cleaning.

[BeyondMyWits]

We also have a small house, mine is cluttered and cosy, a bit of a mess really (kitchen/bathroom are clean, the rest, not so much...) - but full of other people's kids (outside of covid times) and friends drinking coffee or wine depending on when they visit - the more the merrier - so it doesn't seem to matter.

[Socialdistancegintonic]

[quote notso]@Socialdistancegintonic
I have/ none of these things and my house is tidy all the time, and really nice to be in.
I knew someone would come along and post that, which is why I said more often than not
I'd love to know how you get away with only hoovering twice a week though. I hoover twice a week but the robot hoovers needs to be on twice a day![/quote]
I know I used to have to hoover at least once a day, in a different house! I’m really not sure why this is house is easier, and only twice a week. We all take off our shoes, and the downstairs is all wooden floors. To be fair the upstairs carpets don’t look pristine all the time, but it’s acceptable.

[Superleo837]

It sounds like you’re very in tune with your home and it gets you down. It also sounds like there maybe some clutter that quickly makes it look worse than it is. It is mess (untidy) or dirty? Have you been round your home with a pen and paper and looked at all the places crap accumulates? I noticed post and stuff being brought in from the car was just being left on the side so I made a mini organisation centre etc I also took loads of stuff off the sides in the kitchen as it quickly looks messy and I have very little things out now and it takes 2 seconds with the polish and hoover it looks so much better. The less stuff out the tidier it looks! Also I have mini baskets bottom of steps and at the top and I just put anything in them that’s for upstairs etc that helps Not sure if this will help.

[Socialdistancegintonic]

3 hours a day is insane! I’d hate that. I used to do TOMM and my house was a lot more sparkly and clean, yet I got a bit lazy to be honest. It’s a good system though, especially the deep cleans in an area once a week. And doing 30 minutes and then stopping.

[Socialdistancegintonic]

Thinking about the space helps a lot too I think. There is no way I’d able to make my mums house feel tidy for example. The way everything is places, so many tables! And shelves but they are heaving. She spends a lot of time tidying, way more than me, but my house is serene and tidy with very little effort.

I spent a fair bit of time sitting being lazy but thinking, what would really help me organise the files? Do I really need that? Everything that you can see is being used regularly too. Everything else is in a cupboard and those cupboards are emptied out at least once a year ruthlessly.

[Wannabegreenfingers]

You just have to do little and often every day. As other poster's have said far easier to do 30 minutes a day then leave it and spend all day sat or sun cleaning and tidying.

I have a little system when I get up I load/unload the dishwasher, wipe down surfaces, make beds. I clear up after every meal and put clothes away as soon as they are dried. I probably do 30 minutes a day max and one big clean consisting of bathrooms, bedrooms, floors etc once a week, taking no more then 2 hours. This way the house stays clean and tidy almost all of the time. My weekends are mine to do as I please.

[Socialdistancegintonic]

Little and often is a good idea too. I have a morning and evening ‘round up’. Mornings I get up young child, dressed etc, make breakfast, feed pet. Then I open windows, make beds quick, put any clothes away / in wash, empty bins, check kitchen, check bathrooms. I totally ignore teenager mess in his room, he can deal with that.

I don’t have a million toys lying around. They never get used like that anyway. They are mostly in cupboards and I get some out every now and then and put in bedroom or downstairs.

I have loads of homeschool stuff but that lives in files downstairs and books on desk.

There isn’t much to get untidy. Every time I make food, I clear up.

[Cam2020]

I'm the same, OP. I have phases of being on top of it but it's dull, so generally I let it slide a bit (tidiness not cleanliness). Sometimes, it really stresses me out that my house is not like a show home but I don't want want to waste what limited free time I have just cleaning and tidying.

Haven't RTWT, so sorry if someone has, already mentioned, but on the days of stress and despair, I have a cup of tea and read the poem, Dust if you Must.

[MummyMayo1988]

I feel this post soo much OP and your by NO means alone.
We have a 3 bed house with 5 living in it (me, DH and DS10 DS6 DS1)
I've always done all my housework on a Friday. Its stays lovely until they come home from school/work and gets progressively untidy all weekend.
With the arrival of DS1; I've now started doing upstairs on Friday (lovely fresh beds/bathroom and towels) and downstairs on Monday. This breaks it up a bit so that downstairs isnt soo messy all week after they've all been home from school/work.
Works for me 🤷‍♀️😊

[Cyw2018]

OP not sure how small your house is when you say "it's a bit small", but we are a family of 3 (me, dh, DD age 2 and Ddog) in an 800sqft/ 75m2 cottage and it stays clean and tidy with relatively little effort.

My tips...
Declutter more (this is challenging at the moment as it is difficult to move anything on), and what you keep should be in well thought out storage that is accessible and not overloaded.

Invest in the best cleaning equipment your can afford. Cordless stick vacuum cleaner and a good spray mop (vileda 1-2) were game changers for me. Get a soft dusting brush for the cordless cleaner as well.

Follow a cleaning plan, I follow the organised mum method, so you are always on top of it and don't need to think about what needs doing, just do what is planned for the day.

[icelolly99]

I don't know anything about the TOMM method; will have a look at that. My game changer with clutter and mess and cleaning is The KonMarie Method; I read her books and then bored my friends with how amazing it is. (can't believe she hasn't had a mention until now!)

[Localocal]

Just going to throw out that washing dishes in a dishwasher uses less energy and water than washing them by hand. Both convenient and green, which is rare!

Also, if you have little children I think it's best to give yourself slack on this. When mine were little I tried to have things tidy once a day, which for me was right after putting the kids to bed and before sitting down to relax. But somedays even that didn't happen.

Hang in there and try to accept that chaos is part of parenting. And take heart - it gets easier to keep things tidy as they get older! And if they ever go back to school!

[winniestone37]

Yeah I’m the same as you- though I know the answer. You clean as you go, just little bits here and there as habit every single day. You always tidy away after yourself and everyone is taught to do the same, you limit kids toys, everything in your house has a place and you have regular clear outs.