Having my parents round - AIBU

[StonedRoses]

So my DW is not the biggest fan of my parents! She finds them a bit tedious and boring! They are a bit doddery these days and rather set in their routines. But I’m quite fond of them in their annoying way. Yesterday I had an email from my father saying that as the rules were being relaxed from 4th July could they come over and see us for a day. My mother hasn’t really been out since lockdown and wants a change of scenery and misses her grandchildren.
I asked my DW and she said no. Too much hassle, she finds them irritating and boring and she doesn’t want them here. She pointed out that I saw them last month anyway - for 30min in their garden. I’m quite hurt by this. I’d like to see them properly and it seems wrong that I have to get permission to invite my parents to our house. We could try and meet up elsewhere but it’ll be much easier for them to come here.
AIBU to be upset at this?

Unless they've ever been completely hideous to her she is being unreasonable, even then you should be able to have contact even if she didn't want to

I don’t understand why you’re letting her say no to this. She could go out if she doesn’t want to be there.

YANBU.
Can your DW go out for part of the time to 'give you a chance to catch up' or 'so the GC can concentrate on them without mum around'?
Compromise on half a day?
You do the food.

She's being unreasonable unless there's some horrendous backstory about why she doesn't like them that you haven't posted.

I can't stand the sight of my MIL and I still host her for dinner and I'm very polite and make an effort when I have to.

As much as I can't stand her, my children love her and I can't expect my DH to never see her again when I'm more than happy to socialise with my own parents.

She's being unreasonable. It's a visit, they aren't moving in.

Unless there is a big backstory your dw is hugely unreasonable. They’re your parents! She can suck it up for a few hours.

She’s being really unfair. From your description your parents have never been rude or unpleasant towards her so her reaction seems OTT. The fact is sometimes your in laws annoy you but you’re all family and sometimes we compromise things for our spouse. My MIL talks my ear off and I fully admit sometimes I feel exhausted when she stays with us but she means well, and it means a lot to my partner.

Your DW sounds selfish.

Be firm and lay down the law, you shouldn't let her have her own way all the time. Tell her they are coming over and if she doesn't like it, tough.

She's being totally unreasonable
Denying them a visit is bad enough.
Denying them a visit in these circumstances is awful

You don’t have to ask permission, stop allowing her to control you. What else does she control in your life?

Unless there is a huge back story she is being unreasonable.

You should never have to ask if anyone can visit your home.

There’s no backstory. They’ve never been nasty or unpleasant to her (or vice versa). Just different people with not much in common!
It just seems really rude to put my foot down. It’s her house after all and so I have to ask. I can’t really expect her to have to leave her house! If it’s a choice of falling out with parents or DW obviously I’ll go for parents!

She sounds like a controlling prick

It’s her house after all and so I have to ask.
Aren’t you married?

I wouldn't choose to fall out with my parents instead of my husband in a similar scenario op

If you're married then it's not just her house

I cant understand why you arent more annoyed about this. If someone called my parents boring I would be furious! Your dw has some cheek to say that.

How awful of her! I'd have thought anyone could understand wanting to see family after lockdown is acceptable. Bizarre behaviour

Get your parents round or meet elsewhere with the dc.

Your wife sounds lovely . Unless they have done something terrible to her in the past then she has no right to tell you no. They are your parents and it's your house too. Bet she would be the first to moan if she wasn't allowed to visit her kids due to their partner.

If it’s a choice of falling out with parents or DW obviously I’ll go for parents!

You shouldn't have to chose. What's she's doing to completely unreasonable and unfair. Your honestly saying that to keep her appeased, you'll quite happily 'fall out' with you parents - who are elderly and sound very lonely and have done nothing to warrant such behaviour from you.

You sound like a right push over.

Does she have her parents over op? She is being incredibly selfish.

Would she be happy to leave DC with your parents for an hour or two so that you can both go out and do something? Or is she desperate for a haircut and can bag an appointment?
My own dad can be wearing and self-centred, doesn't interact much with DC but he came around on Fathers Day for a takeaway in the garden and it wasn't so bad, lots of show Grandad your home learning/school report/craft project/Lego to keep things going and,DH and I played grandad bingo. It's probably a bit mean but we had a chat about what his topics of conversation would be (masks are a waste of time/too much noise from neighbours/the bin schedule/his car/various ailments etc) and exchanged glances every time we ticked one off, bonus points for each time the word ridiculous was used.

Its both your homes if your living there too and her behaviour is vile. Your parents wont be around forever and if you don't have decent contact with them before they die you will totally regret it.

Hold on, you're married with kids yet it's "her house" and you ask for permission?

Your DW is being thoroughly unreasonable.

I've just taken a look at another thread of yours from some time ago. Your wife wasn't happy that you "left her alone" while you enjoyed a day out with your (then) 9 year old DS following her returning home with a migraine. In that thread you said one of your issues is she doesn't like you going out by yourself.

So, she doesn't like you to go out alone, she didn't like you taking out your DS for a day of fun and she doesn't want your parents to visit for the day? I think you are married to someone who is very controlling and unreasonable.

You have bigger problems than you realise.

It is your home even if you dont own the house and your wife is being ridiculous. Could you go and visit your parents at their house if it's easier? Although I dont think you should have to.