Page 8 | DD's friend - mum asking for childcare

MrsAbigail · 2020-06-23T05:52:01+00:00

I work term time. DD's friend mum has asked if I can watch her daughter a couple of days a week during the 6 week holiday WIBU to day no! I have 3 dc myself and her dd can be quite challenging and really hard work (I have had her over for tea a few times). I really don't know how to tell mum

Standrewsschool · 23/06/2020 16:40

If you looked after her last year and found it hard work, then definantly say no again his year. Possibly she is thinking of last year, and that is why she is asking again. You’ll end up resenting her if you do look after her.

Just text back and say you’re unable to do it.

arethereanyleftatall · 23/06/2020 17:43

I wonder if the father is also texting his male friends to ask the same question.

arethereanyleftatall · 23/06/2020 17:50

From a different angle; for those of us who have now found ourselves at home for the summer holidays and the foreseeable; how easy/hard is it to register as a childminder? I wonder if they'll make it temporarily easier. We will have a situation this summer of both People needing childcare and people needing a job.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 23/06/2020 18:05

I actually watched her a couple of days last summer holidays and it was too much.

Did she ever return the favour? Even just a couple of playdates after school/Weekend?

Thisismytimetoshine · 23/06/2020 18:06

Make it temporarily easier ? . Why the hell would they compromise on safety to make it easier for people to earn a quick buck?!

arethereanyleftatall · 23/06/2020 18:20

For the reasons I cited. Firstly because there are people needing childcare, and fast; and coincidentally, there are people needing a job. Extraordinary times.
This whole thread is about someone asking someone she doesn't know to look after her child for the summer holidays; no safety whatsoever happening there.

MatildaTheCat · 23/06/2020 18:25

‘Sorry Sally, I get asked this every school holiday and I always have to say no because it’s too much for me. I hope you get something sorted soon.’

Devlesko · 23/06/2020 18:27

You have your own to look after, she'll have to ask someone else.
Nice if you have nothing else to do but you've enough with your lot.

ZacklySo · 23/06/2020 18:30

@Gutterton

OP if you haven’t already declined the text - perhaps you could connect her directly with some of the PPs in here who would be delighted to help her out.

Yeah I was thinking the same thing, Gutterton. They are so happy to put someone else to work, why don't they offer.

Apparently this woman was 'desperate' last summer, as she asked the Op then as well. Just someone looking for free childcare. I wish posters would stop with the dramatics.

Just say no Op it doesn't work for you, and enjoy your summer break

spokeinthewheel · 23/06/2020 18:48

I’m sorry but I absolutely can’t stand people who ask this. I also think a lot of parents if one child have absolutely no idea what it’s like to have three. When one if them has a friend, it changes the entire dynamic. It’s hard enough anyway with three different age groups, trying to find things they all want to do. Plus, depending on ages, you might not want one in the front of the car and not everyone can fit four in the back of the car. It totally limits your options and steals the time you deserve, frankly, to focus in your own kids.

I’ve had years if this. I think some parents of single children just think, “oh they’ll just play..,” In fact, when you just have one, having a friend there can be an advantage as your own child is entertained. But it’s totally different when you have three as it is.

Don’t feel bad at all OP and just say no because it’s too much.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 23/06/2020 18:49

OP if you haven’t already declined the text - perhaps you could connect her directly with some of the PPs in here who would be delighted to help her out

Exactly! Isnt it funny how its so easy and generous to volunteer other people to help out for free and yet not so easy to volunteer yourself. Funny that!
If people on this thread think its so great to help others out with free childcare I'm sure the OP could put them in touch with this lady and they can watch her child for 6 weeks. After all, if its no big deal, there should be no problem right?

NataliaOsipova · 23/06/2020 19:00

Why can people not see that this is not a normal summer and people are struggling?

I can see this. It’s obvious. What I don’t see is why this is the OP’s problem....

Gutterton · 23/06/2020 19:05

Especially as this year is soooo different - I expect there are many who are prepared to step up and volunteer - maybe MNHQ could develop an app for all the PP on here to connect with their local Mums in need of free childcare this summer.

Honestly OP if you haven’t responded already - pass me your phone and I will text her for you.

Enjoy your time this summer with your 3 lovely DCs - that you have made sacrifices for in terms of money and career for years. Their childhoods speed by - savour every golden, sunshine moment without guilt for any random school gate mum.

Carlottacoffee · 23/06/2020 19:13

Because of the situation we are in because of no child care being available - I’d say yes probably through gritted teeth.

We need to help each other out. Especially if she is a single parent mother.

Where I grew up there was lots of aunty sue, aunty peg ect.. none of them were real aunts they were mothers on our street that sometimes helped out. I remember my nan looking after some woman’s little boy whilst she was in hospital giving birth he was at our house for a week and I’d never seen him before in my life

Carlottacoffee · 23/06/2020 19:15

Especially as this year is soooo different - I expect there are many who are prepared to step up and volunteer - maybe MNHQ could develop an app for all the PP on here to connect with their local Mums in need of free childcare this summer

Actually this really isn’t a bad idea.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 23/06/2020 19:17

I’d say yes probably through gritted teeth

OMG no. Would YOU want someone looking after your child "through gritted teeth"? thats bloody awful. You actually need to be really careful about this, if the child were to have an accident whilst you're looking after them "through gritted teeth" what about liability? what about insurance? the OP already has 3 children to look after, 4 might make it unbearable and frankly, unsafe. Coercing people to do childcare that they cannot manage and dont want to do is an extremely dangerous and terrible idea.

Carlottacoffee · 23/06/2020 19:18

Exactly! Isnt it funny how its so easy and generous to volunteer other people to help out for free and yet not so easy to volunteer yourself. Funny that!
If people on this thread think its so great to help others out with free childcare I'm sure the OP could put them in touch with this lady and they can watch her child for 6 weeks. After all, if its no big deal, there should be no problem right

It’s not six weeks straight though it would 12 days spread out over six weeks. The OP could say she would 2,4,6 ect days of those

But obviously she has the right to say no.

If one of my dds friends parents asked me this I’d commit to one a week. Just like a long play date

Carlottacoffee · 23/06/2020 19:21

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

I’d say yes probably through gritted teeth

OMG no. Would YOU want someone looking after your child "through gritted teeth"? thats bloody awful. You actually need to be really careful about this, if the child were to have an accident whilst you're looking after them "through gritted teeth" what about liability? what about insurance? the OP already has 3 children to look after, 4 might make it unbearable and frankly, unsafe. Coercing people to do childcare that they cannot manage and dont want to do is an extremely dangerous and terrible idea.

There is no need to be a dick about it

And it might surprise you some people do help others out if they are shit situation. But hey I take it your not that kinda person.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 23/06/2020 19:22

If considering safety issues when child minding is being a dick, then I'll happily be a dick!

Carlottacoffee · 23/06/2020 19:23

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

If considering safety issues when child minding is being a dick, then I'll happily be a dick!

Ok

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 23/06/2020 19:26

😙

finished31 · 23/06/2020 19:27

The issue I would have apart from current events is once you say yes to one day it then creeps up to 2 in an emergency and before you know it you have a child that's a nightmare that takes over YOUR house for the whole week.

Say no and repeat!

MadeForThis · 23/06/2020 19:28

Just say No

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/06/2020 19:53

Say no but arrange maybe a play date for afternoon every few weeks

sunflowersandtulips50 · 23/06/2020 20:52

Only on MN will folks suggest you agree to look after some one elses child who your not friends with. Under the assumption she has no mates and family and the current pandemic means this is your responsibility. I know a woman who managed to get every parent in her DC class to look after her DC, she only ever offered to take mine if she could dump both her DC with me all day on a Saturday as she had an important work thing, she brought her DC to the door of another parent at 7am who had agreed to take her DS to school and said drop at 830...the poor boy had zero breakfast...she got me to take her DS saying she had an important engagement- he was a pain in the arse too- scoffed all my fruit and threw remains on the floor, brought another DC scooter home and she laughed and left me to return it to the school, and it ended up it was her dads birthday celebration on brighton beach. She now just leaves her kids at home alone but her sense of entitlement was shocking and sheer brass neck.