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AIBU?

DD's friend - mum asking for childcare

235 replies

MrsAbigail · 23/06/2020 06:52

I work term time. DD's friend mum has asked if I can watch her daughter a couple of days a week during the 6 week holiday WIBU to day no!

I have 3 dc myself and her dd can be quite challenging and really hard work (I have had her over for tea a few times). I really don't know how to tell mum

OP posts:

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LittleFairyCakes · 25/06/2020 08:23

My friends and I all help each other in the holidays with childcare (all self employed so we try to work it out in advance and have a plan in our diaries of who is working what days etc and I try to take as much time off as I can so as not to be farming the kids out loads). This is a godsend for me as I dont have any willing family locally to help out so I can imagine how desperate the friend must be to ask...

That said.. I would hate being tied in to having someone else's child on a regular basis throughout the holidays as that would massively impact on my life and plans.

In your situation I think I would offer to do one day a week for her but be honest and say anymore would be too restrictive for you.

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jwpetal · 25/06/2020 08:27

You are well on your rights to say no with confidence and kindness.
She has asked for help and you can't give it. Thst is okay.
I don't think it was cheeky. She asked and you answer. If you feel guilty for saying no, I wonder why.
I believe in supporting women and if I can help, I do. I don't know what is happening in her life but she has asked. End of. No need to think bad things about her such as some have said.

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Carlottacoffee · 25/06/2020 08:31

@jwpetal

I agree.

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FelicisNox · 25/06/2020 09:08

YANBU. I agree with this statement:

"I’d just be easy breezy about it, something like “oh no, sorry I will already have my hands full with my 3! Hope you can sort something out!” And then leave it. If she turns CF about you being off work, stone wall her and start repeating “I’ve already said it doesn’t work for me, you will need to make other arrangements” and continue as needed".

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littlecats · 25/06/2020 11:42

I would think the only way you would be allowed to look after the child is if they social distanced which would be really difficult. Therefore I don't think you can help.

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Howyiz · 25/06/2020 14:39

@LittleFairyCakes the difference with your situation is that it is reciprocal. In the case of the OP she isn't friends with this woman, her child is friends with their child.
The OP did a number of days last year and she found it didn't work for her. I agree asking doesn't make her cheeky but the fact that there is no return favour or payment mentioned means it is cheeky.