Why is the term 'BM' so hated on MN?

[Wouldyougivemeamortgage]

This is a genuine question, something I'm stumped over. Why do some mums object so strongly to the term BM or bio mum or birth mum on here? I'm not being goady.

If used on a step parenting thread where there is a step mum and a mum (not wishing to use the term and annoy anyone), there is a genuine reason to differentiate but some mums are furious? I don't understand why? It's not a term that implies anything negative, just you gave birth rather than a step mum who didn't?

Mother is the term that applies.

Birth mother is used to describe the biological mother of children who are given up for adoption.

I thought you meant bowel movement...

That doesn't answer my question, but thanks.

Mother is part of birth mother, so is birth.

I don't see rage about it on here, I must be looking at the wrong threads. However I would associate birth mum as I do bio dad. Someone who isn't very good at it. Just mother does.

I don’t see the need to add that in. If someone is a step mum that makes sense to differentiate but otherwise Mother is all that is needed.

Because I am my childrens mum. Their step mum is their step mum.
Birth/bio mum implies a mum who gave birth but isn't involved.

Because, especially as you phrased your last sentence it implies that they are otherwise equally 'mums' which people find rather offensive

They don’t need a qualifier.

What a bizarre comment, but ok.

To me bio-mum is the biological mother as opposed to the non-biological mother in a lesbian mums situation. But then i guess that's based on my own experience as a non-bio mum. If i am talking about my stepdaughter i would refer to her mum as her mum and me as her stepmum.

Wow. You ok?

Birth mother refers to a mother who was simply there biologically and is no longer around.

Because mother or mum is sufficient. Bio or birth mother implies a mother who has given birth but is not involved with their child or who had their child adopted.

What, when talking about a child who also has a step mum? Why on earth would you need to use 'birth mum' in that context? It's already clear- the person is their mum, the next person is their step mum. Birth mum or bio mum make sense when a child has been adopted but just seem redundant terms otherwise.

The birth part isn't needed. When I fill in anything fur my children and it asks relationship, I put mother/mum. Not birth mum.

If so done is posting about their step children, they can refer to their mum, as their mum. It's not difficult.

Most of the posts I've seen have been started by a step mum wanting to bitch about the birth mum

So you're saying that if the term BM is used, the person using it is implying the mother is not very good?

I don't think that is the case, certainly not in my experience. So a step mum is a lesser mum than a birth mum?

If you haven't read examples of where this is happening there's a good one on the step parenting forum right now.

So a step mum is a lesser mum than a birth mum?

Well.... generally speaking, yes.

I'm saying this as a step mum btw.

If my DH and I were to ever split up and he marry someone else, I would hate for that person to refer to me as my DD’s bio-mum! I’m her mum. Being her mum is my job. Unless the child’s mum is not around for whatever reason, the role of mum doesn’t go to the step-mum. She can of course show caring for that child and treat them as she would her own but she isn’t their mum.

Are you a step mum?

Of course a step mum is lesser if the mother is around.

I think Glowcat explains it perfectly. 'Birth mother' is an appropriate descriptor in relation to adopted children, otherwise mum/mother is the complete term.

So a step mum is a lesser mum than a birth mum?

yes of course.

"So a step mum is a lesser mum than a birth mum?"

Assuming their Mother is around still, yes. Of course

If I need to differentiate between my Mum and my Step Mum I refer to them as Mum and Step mum. Because thats what they are

It doesnt mean I love my step mum any less. Shes a wonderful woman who I love a lot. But she isn't my mum.

If my DCs step mum needs to talk about me then she should refer to me as her DSCs mum. Because thats who I am. (Apparently she refers to me as 'the bitch' )