AIBU to wonder what is actually wrong with using reins on a child?

[FancyRutabaga]

When I had my PFB, I was very anti-reins, but now I can't actually remember why. I remember reading on here about people tutting at the sight of them,comments about how children aren't dogs etc

We had a very different set up with number, we lived in an isolated cul de sac with wide footpaths and bridleways, and it was a lot safer for PFB to roam free.

Now, with my current toddler, we live in a village with narrow cobbly streets and quite a lot of agricultural machinery pounding through regularly. She is also a slippery handed bolter,which sensible PFB was not. She is good at holding hands, but there's a few areas where she could have some independence but would need to be within grabbing distance, if that makes sense.

I've been given a little backpack with reins attached, and she has been a happier child since we started using it on our (now much more peaceful) walks.

I just can't see a problem to be honest. I remember seeing arguments about reins going on for pages, but now I look at her able to explore her environment whilst being safe, and I genuinely can't see what the issue was or why I was ever so against the idea

Used them with all mine and didn’t know it was seen as a bad thing, I never had any bad comments or looks (that I’m aware of)
Only time anything was mentioned was when an American mum came over to ask where she could buy the dinosaur rucksack rein that I had for my son.
To be honest I wouldn’t be bothered about a funny comment- if it keeps my toddler safe then a stranger can judge away if they feel the need

I like this thread. Any recommendations for long reins pls?

I have never understood why people frown upon the use of reins. They are just a piece of safety equipment.

People gasp. There are little rucksacks with a strap that are a bit less extreme looking.

I had no choice, unless people have a placid child what are you supposed to do if you want to leave the house.

I don't know how many toddler-parents MrsPresley's tragic words have helped but they certainly helped me.

DD was a bolter who had no sense of danger and no flight distance. We didn't have a pram from 18 months as she loved to walk. She's now a very independent child who is into rock climbing. Still no fear and no sense of danger.

I remember one poster on another thread saying all children wanted was to hold your hand and show you flowers. Not my child.

I never really understood how some children bolted until I looked after my niece. She was terrifying compared to my very placid DS. If she saw a potential threat (busy road, body of water, large dog) she would respond by running as fast as she could towards it! I expect she’s going to be a fabulous adult but she’s an exhausting little person!

Rather reins than a hospital visit or worse...

People who are disapproving over reins obviously never had an energetic bolter on their hands. I think they are completely sensible. The backpacks ones are nice.

I had a bolter and couldn't have coped otherwise. What I used (in the 90s) was actually a fabric wrist-link rather than reins, but the principle is the same - I suppose the disapproving would use the analogy of handcuffs rather than a dog-lead!

My two are less than two years apart in age, and apart from anything else, if the elder had bolted I could hardly have abandoned the baby to run after her. She learnt to hold on to the pushchair, but the wrist-link acted as a very helpful back-up. I think she would have just gone floppy on purpose with reins, so our method suited us, but both are perfectly sensible. Lucky people if their children just hang on to their hands all the time, but this also saved a lot of arguments because there was no escape!

Used the backpack with a lead on it on all of mine which was effective.

Not a huge fan of the wrist lead, as it's really easy to slip off, and also don't think it's very effective.

Also yes to the PP "hand on the pram". (if you have a younger child in a pram/buggy). Saw it on Supernanny years ago, works a treat on pre-schoolers. Great tip. Younger toddlers or bolters I'd still have reins.

I like this thread. Any recommendations for long reins pls?

You could always go down the literal dog lead route and have one of those retractable ones

(Not sneering, i'm a reins fan; see my post above!)

I used reigns with my DD2. She was bolter and generally a force of nature, once she was on the move. I used them out of necessity to keep her safe.

We used the old style webbing reins and never had any negative comments. Even with a fairly placid child you just never know when their hat will blow into the road or they'll see a cat on the other side they want to look at etc, and they can all move pretty fast when they want to.

I've never really got the 'it's like having a dog on a lead' which you do to keep your dog safe.

Why wouldn't you wnat to that for your DC's ?

@Chaaaaaching

I’ve never met anyone that is snobby about them, only on MN.

Yup!

Babies/toddlers are strapped into prams/pushchairs for safety aren't they?

It's just an extension of that isn't it?

For their safety?

Also. surely more comfortable for the child than constantly reaching up to hold hands?

Considering MN threads are always pro reins I very rarely see any children wearing them. Honestly I've liked using them but I wouldn't comment on others who do.

Fortunately I only had to try them for one of my DC, the other three were very placid hand/buggy holders.
DS2 was very different and hated holding hands, unfortunately he also hated reins. He'd just lie down and scream or Houdini himself out of his coat and therefore the reins every time I put them on him, so I gave up as I could actually get somewhere with him screaming in the buggy, I struggled to get to the end of the street with him in reins.

That should have said I've never liked using them.

I always used reins with DS. We had to walk on very narrow streets near traffic and they were just part of the routine for going out - coat on, reins on - so it wasn't a problem. Dragging a small child's arm in the air is no fun at all and not very safe anyway.

The only comments I ever got were positive ones.

I used them for one of my four children when he was a toddler. I honestly don't think he would've survived without them as he was a totally fearless houdini impersonator who shaved years off my life .

The only place we got disapproving looks was at an aquarium place in France which was packed full of people. If I'd relied on holding his hand I dread to think what might have happened as he was so quick and would have wandered off, probably ending up swimming with the penguins.

The only comments I ever had on using reins were positive - how sensible it was. Saved little DS many a skinned knee. Never had any judgement.

Never used them and only get annoyed with the parents who decide to use the ridiculously long ones in busy places. Hazardous to both people walking around and the child at the end.

There was a lot of hate for reins in some of the online baby/ parenting forums I was on when my first was a baby (mothering.com, the attachment focussed groups on lj) but like others have said, IRL I have never met anyone with a real problem with them.

My mum used to be very anti-reins. I'm pro-reins. When I was 6 a boy we knew ran out into the road and got hit by a car. I never understood why the adults didn't protect him better by having him on reins. I still don't understand it. If you have a wiggly runner, reins are great.

Love reins, I've just started using them on my 16 month old and they're brilliant. Also handy for socially distanced walks with friends who he shouldn't go near!

He will not hold my hand, never has, and he's not old enough to understand to hold onto the pram. He walks beautifully on the reins, whereas off then he's all over the place. They're brilliant.