AIBU to wonder what is actually wrong with using reins on a child?

[FancyRutabaga]

When I had my PFB, I was very anti-reins, but now I can't actually remember why. I remember reading on here about people tutting at the sight of them,comments about how children aren't dogs etc

We had a very different set up with number, we lived in an isolated cul de sac with wide footpaths and bridleways, and it was a lot safer for PFB to roam free.

Now, with my current toddler, we live in a village with narrow cobbly streets and quite a lot of agricultural machinery pounding through regularly. She is also a slippery handed bolter,which sensible PFB was not. She is good at holding hands, but there's a few areas where she could have some independence but would need to be within grabbing distance, if that makes sense.

I've been given a little backpack with reins attached, and she has been a happier child since we started using it on our (now much more peaceful) walks.

I just can't see a problem to be honest. I remember seeing arguments about reins going on for pages, but now I look at her able to explore her environment whilst being safe, and I genuinely can't see what the issue was or why I was ever so against the idea

[StoppinBy]

Our daughter was a puller, as in if she wanted to go somewhere she would try and pull out of my hand....after her elbow was dislocated doing this twice we bought a backpack, having the harness meant we didn't have to hold her hand so tight...she still managed to dislocate her elbow twice more though....much to the displeasure of the very questioning hospital staff lol.

As she grew she stopped doing it and her elbows also strengthened and stopped dislocating.

Our second has never been on the harness, he is now 3 and has just never tried pulling away in the same way.

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

I have used reins with my three and never had any comments except some mild amusement in NY with DD1.

I also have twins and the idea that they would be better strapped in a buggy and getting zero exercise is ridiculous. Mine are nearly 2 and a half and can walk for over an hour in a very hilly area. Tires them right out!

Also love love love the PP who taught hers to bark. That is fantastic and I am stealing it!

Mind you, I also exercise all 3 of mine by taking them to the park and playing fetch with a tennis ball, which I can assure gets lots more looks than reins!

[FudgeBrownie2019]

Both DC here loved to walk everywhere from the moment they learned to toddle. Reins/backpacks meant they could do that more safely. I carried a sling with me if they got tired, but mostly they would walk alongside me holding my hand with the reins as an added bit of security. Not sure either of them bolted very often but on the odd occasion they did those reins were an absolute godsend.

I don't think it's necessary to judge if DC should/shouldn't be in pushchairs til a set age - I have friends whose DC showed no interest in marching about shops or anywhere else and they'd have had a miserable time trying to force them out of their pushchairs, just as I would have had a miserable time trying to force mine into one. You work with the children you have, not the ones your friends have. They all grow up fine in the end.

[PennyArrowBar]

Reins are brilliant. I had one of those deathwish toddlers with a side hustle in "I reckon I can probably climb that".

Reins from the minute he could toddle, also no wrenched arm sockets when he tripped, which was numerous. Stopped him hitting the deck though.

I put the dog on a lead because she's got fuck all road sense, and I didn't have to incur stretch marks and a 36 hour labour to acquire her.

[morefun]

Handy for me with my younger one. We live near busy roads and he likes to walk. He's now pretty good holding my hand instead (age 3) but I would take them to places like funfairs and shopping centres to keep him from racing off.

[Doggybiccys]

I always used reins then progressed to a "lead" which just went round DD's wrist when she was a little older - she used to love to pretend to be a dog and would skip round the shopping centre barking!

[caramelbun]

My mum used reins with me when I was a toddler. it seems sensible to me. Although, I thought it was just called a lead until I saw this thread

Once I was with a friend of mine and we saw a woman with her toddler in reins and my friend cringed and said it looked demeaning. I disagree.

[Funkycats]

I used them for one of my children because he was a bolter. My childminder used them for my youngest, just to keep her safe (I kept her in a pushchair for longer for same reason - it's hard when you have more than two children, even if the are reasonably easy ones)
They are all late 20s/30s now and quite well-rounded individuals.
I didn't realise they weren't popular any more till I joined mumsnet.

[Sailingblue]

I never really understand the ‘demeaning’ argument. It’s not exactly any less demeaning carrying a screaming and kicking toddler away from something dangerous. 1 and 2 year olds are subject to lots of things adults would find demeaning. Doesn’t mean it’s not entirely appropriate and sensible. No-one seems to argue against strapping them into a high chair or containing them in a cot.

[4cats2kids]

YANBU the way some people react anyone would think you were putting a choke lead around their neck, rather than ensuring a lively toddler doesn’t bolt into the road.

[Ineedcoffee2345]

Pro reins here. We use a little backback kind. Dd feels grown up (shes 3) while i push baby in pram without worrying she will dash off.
Also keeps children safe. Especially when out shopping

[Beautiful3]

I had reins with both children as they were runners! No one ever said anything negative about them. They were a life saver.

[HouchinBawbags]

I'm pro-reins. I bought a set of vintage style leather ones when DD was a toddler. Got to use them ONCE. We spent the whole trip dragging her back up to standing as she repeatedly threw herself down laughing wanting to be swung around on them. Turns out she's just better at holding hands. When DD 2 was born we had a "one finger on the pram" rule so everywhere we went she held the pram. When DS was born our middle child was a toddler and the reins were again useless as she, like her sister, just held the pram. When we did put them on her they hung limply not being used.

I think they're cute. And great for keeping bolters safe. One 'friend' did once get into a big bitchy-rant about kid dog leads and how ridiculous people were for having them. Yep. Same woman had her 3+ year old still strapped into a pushchair everywhere they went, feet dragging on the ground. I don't think I ever saw him out of it until school started. (NT and no disabilities)

[Anywaythewindisblowing]

My son could definitely walk well before he know what walking was! No way could we leave the house without them. He's a slippery handed under bolter and I have limited mobility! So rein us up!

[MustStopSnacking28]

I didn’t even realise anyone had an issue with reins. My DS gets his rucksack out (The one with the strap) whenever we go anywhere and he loves it, keeps his cars in there. Also stops him from falling over all them time!

[Nixen]

I always think of @MrsPresley too when the anti reins arguement comes up

[Astrabees]

As a child I loved my reins, I used to pretend to be a horse ! I still remember them, pale blue leather. WE lived in te countryside so didn't need them with my sons.

[FromMarch2020]

Safety first.

Children can be guided but remain safe. Useful if you have a child that runs off/struggles with where the path ends and road starts/tries to let go of hand or if you have other children to keep track of.

Ignore the moaners/comments.

[FancyRutabaga]

I have just searched for the story mentioned by the poster up thread and it is so sad 😔There's been a few similar cases I've heard of locally where toddlers have suddenly bolted out into the road and been killed.

I do agree thats road safety needs to be taught alongside the reins, but it's not all or nothing. Most of the time I loop the reins around my wrist as I hold DD's hand. Our pavements are elderly and narrow, and our cottage opens right onto the street. If she decided to pull away and bolt when I'm fumbling in my bag for keys, she'd likely be under a tractor or milk truck in four steps. I teach her how to cross at roads and all the rest.

I suppose I didn't like them initially because I thought they did look demeanint, though really they don't, no more so than strapping a child into a buggy or something. Anyway DD's have little wings on the backpack and she loves them 😁

[MzHz]

There are a lot of cheap knockoffs for the toddler packs with twins, please make sure they are properly tested etc, there are a number of brilliant companies in this country that make them.

I used reins with my ds when he was a toddler and it was the saving of him falling over a dozen times! That alone is why I think it’s worth it. The toddler backpacks with reins are adorable and I know my ds would have loved one if they had them then! Good for carrying the all too important snacks!!

[Defenbaker]

YANBU, they're very useful, especially during this time, as toddlers can't understand the concept of social distancing.

[Igmum]

Also pro reins here. I remember visiting New York when PFB was 3. Reins were a godsend and she loved her little ladybird backpack (I still remember being very proud of my reins as a toddler).

[pigsDOfly]

There does seems to be a weird attitude towards reins by a great many people on MN, well there was in past threads: treating toddlers like dogs, demeaning and so on.

Far from being demeaning, surely most toddlers who want to be independent and autonomous would prefer to walk along without having to hold a grown up's hand and I've never understood the whole 'treating them like a dog' thing, it's ridiculous.

Keeping a small child safe doesn't seem as important to some people as the idea that complete strangers might make stupid comments.

[Gatehouse77]

I used reins with all 3 of mine. Didn’t even know it was controversial 🤷‍♀️

[Stripeytopgirl]

I never used them, not sure why. But I have 0 problem with them, what ever works.