AIBU to wonder what is actually wrong with using reins on a child?

[FancyRutabaga]

When I had my PFB, I was very anti-reins, but now I can't actually remember why. I remember reading on here about people tutting at the sight of them,comments about how children aren't dogs etc

We had a very different set up with number, we lived in an isolated cul de sac with wide footpaths and bridleways, and it was a lot safer for PFB to roam free.

Now, with my current toddler, we live in a village with narrow cobbly streets and quite a lot of agricultural machinery pounding through regularly. She is also a slippery handed bolter,which sensible PFB was not. She is good at holding hands, but there's a few areas where she could have some independence but would need to be within grabbing distance, if that makes sense.

I've been given a little backpack with reins attached, and she has been a happier child since we started using it on our (now much more peaceful) walks.

I just can't see a problem to be honest. I remember seeing arguments about reins going on for pages, but now I look at her able to explore her environment whilst being safe, and I genuinely can't see what the issue was or why I was ever so against the idea

My mum said she is really envious of today's parents with reins because they weren't available when I was a baby😂

As people have commented....some children are just born as absconders...take off at a seconds notice and run free. Even as a crawler my eldest would take off like a bat out of hell...it was like chasing a squealing pig. He hated the pushchair having walked early. For what it’s worth he still walks around everywhere around London where he lives now, rather than the tube. Reins meant he could walk but stay safe and for us parents not to have to do a 100m sprint multiple times while out.
My youngest...polar opposite! Preferred the pushchair, walked holding hands and never took off. We never had to use reins. And now he drives me everywhere and loves his car😂😂

Used for both of mine, a few different kids as well, and would do so again.

Both bolters with SEN. Best thing I could have done.

I've been using the little ladybird backpack with reins since my DD began walking. It's to keep her safe whilst also encouraging independence. I dont understand why anyone would be adverse to them?

We put them on DGD 22 months and she told us, “ no lead mama, no lead.

Reins are fabulous. Used loads with PFB, who has now grown into a highly sensible 3 year old who tells me off if I dont look both ways before crossing a road.

In my opinion, never let ANYONE change your mind when YOU know what is best for YOUR child. In my mind, the reality is that if you do not use reins on a child who suddenly darts off into incoming traffic, you may tragically have a child who is under the wheels of a vehicle. You will have to live with that, for thinking 'Oh, I don't want people to judge/say I'm treating my child like a puppy/ slating me because I'm not in control'. 'Saving face' in front of these judgemental people is not worth the risk. The people that are making you feel inferior for using reins are not worth giving a second thought to. If you feel you need to justify yourself just tell them, "Don't judge me, I prefer my child alive thanks" but you shouldn't need to. Try and ignore the nastiness. This stage will pass and you will have a child who is still alive! People can be so horrid and cruel but at the end of the day only you can decide what measures to use to keep your child safe.

@myself2020 I'm so sorry for what your Dad and family went through

@SchrodingersImmigrant I had reins in the early 80s, I remember them quite fondly!

I find the dog lead argument bizarre.

The primary reason for keeping your dog on a lead around traffic is to keep them safe. It boggles my mind that you'd not want to do the same for your child.

@whatswithtodaytoday we weren't in the UK. Sadly there were apparently no reins for me or my sibling. So mama had to be oddly bent over😂

Reins have been around in the UK forever.

I've seen photos of me when I was small wearing reins, and I was born in 1948.

I had dd1 3yo and dtds so I used reins for twins as they were independent and over confident. 2 people challenged me during that time. I always put reins around my wrists as a back up but held their hands. As they got older I’d tuck the reins in the back pack but say that if they didn’t stay with me I’d use the reins - great motivator for them to behave but have me control of the situation.
I make no apologies - when dd1 was a toddler she was a great hand holder so no need for reins but one of her friends from the child minder was a couple of years older and bolted across a road. She was air lifted to hospital, nearly died and has permanent brain damage. That seemed to shut up the 2 people who questioned my choice.

From the minute they could walk, both my children hated being in a pushchair, they loved to explore. The reins allowed them freedom. Also, if they lost their footing, I could quickly stop them making contact with the ground. Reins saved many a scrapped knee.