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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by receiving flowers

465 replies

DappledThings · 17/06/2020 12:33

Firstly let be clear I did politely thank the sender, I'm not terrible. But I was sent flowers in the post yesterday and my only reaction was annoyance.

I don't own a vase so had to find a jug big enough for them. Loads of random wrapping that makes a big mess, loads of water in the wrapping that I didn't know about so flooded the table, spilt half the packet of the food liquid stuff which is very sticky, couldn't cut through the thick stems with first pair of scissors and had to use a knife.

Then they last a little while and don't even look that nice, and once they are past their best there's smelly, slimy water to deal with a drippy bunch of dead plant matter to chuck away.

I would happily never be sent or given flowers ever again. Just me or anyone else not like them?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
lowlandLucky · 17/06/2020 16:20

Bet the person that sent you them would be gutted by your reaction

Original poster
DappledThings · 17/06/2020 16:21

Why thank someone when you don't appreciate them?
Social niceties etc.

Bet the person that sent you them would be gutted by your reaction
Which is why they will never know. As per the above.

OP posts:
GlumyGloomer · 17/06/2020 16:21

I loved when my boyfriend bought me flowers, because I had free time, a reasonably tidy flat to display them in, and he was a student so the bunches were all small and manageable. Now we're married with kids his family buy me flowers, and these are mostly large bouquets I don't have space for, don't want to faff about with and look rather incongruous in my disaster zone of a house. The best examples are a colossal white bouquet just after dc1 was born, (chocolate would have been a million times more welcome) and an orchid in a very fragile glass jar a few months before we were due to move house. Any orchid being given to me is under a death sentence to begin with as I'm useless with them, but the hazardous glass container meant we didn't even try to take it with us. BIL though gave us a cactus, which not only survived the move but is now thriving on my neglect. I feel he has my measure Grin

Ginfordinner · 17/06/2020 16:26

Blimey, just how much of a chore is it to cut an inch off some flower stems and put them in some water!

but in all fairness to the sender your drama putting them into water was a pretty extreme case

Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill! I love flowers, and often buy a bunch when supermarket shopping. They brighten the living room.

eggandonion · 17/06/2020 16:42

We moved a stupid little cupboard into our living room last year when we were decorating - it is useless as a cupboard, doesnt match anything, but is ideal for putting flowers on. Currently chrysanths and sweet william in a gold vase.
I wish somebody would send me flowers (and a chocolate hamper).

bluevioletcrimsonsky · 17/06/2020 16:55

I own many vase. Biggest one is about 1 m tall. I don't think I would get you, or you would get me. Each to their own.
Just thought sad that some people can get annoyed by receiving flowers. That's all.

wibdib · 17/06/2020 16:59

Completely agree with you op and my mum is just the same. When I got married instead of getting a bouquet for the mother the bride and the mother of the groom, I got the florist to order me a couple of nice rose bushes for each of them and wrap them up with a bit of tissue, ribbon and cellophane to look nice (handing over a couple of thorny sticks seemed pushing it and it protected them a bit for the journey home) - they lasted for years. Mil is now dead so no idea how hers are now and one of mum’s died in a vicious winter a couple of years ago but all provided lots of pleasure for a lot longer (and less cost!) than a fancy bouquet.

I’ve also been given a beautiful bouquet as a leaving present from a job - which I had at home with me for less than an hour as I was going away the next day for a couple of weeks (which they knew!) so had gone home to have a busy evening of packing and so ended up trying to find someone who was around for me to give them to as they would just be a putrid stinking mess if I left them. They could have spent half the money on a massive box of chocs (which they knew I loved) or a nice bottle of wine (ditto) and I would have been genuinely thrilled. As it was, I said a very polite thank you and that I was thrilled and touched, but all I could think was argghhh another job to do tonight before I can go to sleep.

I also don’t have any window sills or places to put flowers which doesn’t help.

Definitely not something that’s a treat.

CarrieMoonbeams · 17/06/2020 17:19

I absolutely love flowers, and have quite cheerfully sent some to my DM, DMIL and my best pal, all in the last few weeks. Oh and I also bought a bunch for one of my neighbours when I was doing my shopping on Saturday.

Now I'm wondering how many of them I've inadvertently pissed off!

I know that when someone sends me flowers, it always gives me a little boost when I come in to the room, as I know that someone who loves me was thinking about me. (And they last one hell of a lot longer than chocolate, cake or wine would in my house!)

Paddyclova · 17/06/2020 17:20

You send Brownies because they are a real treat...

I hate them, I know a few others who do too. I’d never think oh I’m so annoyed what a shit present because I’d imagine you were being kind by sending them. I’m also not a drinker but I dont get irritated at getting a bottle of champers etc. Rude.

Original poster
DappledThings · 17/06/2020 17:28

I’m also not a drinker but I dont get irritated at getting a bottle of champers etc. Rude.
And again, how is it rude if the sender never knows?

OP posts:
unlikelytobe · 17/06/2020 17:48

OP, I love your measured , good humoured responses to some of the daft comments! You are the voice of reason here today.

I'd send you a pot plant but can only find these fuckersFlowers

maddiemookins16mum · 17/06/2020 17:53

Blimey, I hope you aren’t my work colleague who I sent lovely flowers to from Bloom and Wild recently? I’m a bit skint this month but knew she really needed a boost.
YABVU.

Paddyclova · 17/06/2020 17:56

If I call someone an arsehole, it’s rude whether they heard me or not. It’s just not nice to be so ungrateful.

Original poster
DappledThings · 17/06/2020 17:57

Blimey, I hope you aren’t my work colleague who I sent lovely flowers to from Bloom and Wild recently? I’m a bit skint this month but knew she really needed a boost.

Nope, not from a colleague. I'm sure she loved them, most people seem to. Although if I knew someone was skint but had spent money they didnt really have spare on something unnecessary for me I'd feel pretty shit.

OP posts:
understandmenow · 17/06/2020 17:59

You seem a bit drama over a bunch of flowers OP!

Original poster
DappledThings · 17/06/2020 17:59

If I call someone an arsehole, it’s rude whether they heard me or not.

An interesting concept. Does the tree make a sound if it falls in an empty forest? Is someone rude if they act in an ungrateful way in an empty room?

OP posts:
MiddlesexGirl · 17/06/2020 17:59

I love flowers. And most (probably all) of your gripes can be avoided.

I can't be bothered with wine or alcohol, I'd prefer not to be tempted with chocolates or edibles. Flowers are perfect for me Flowers

Original poster
DappledThings · 17/06/2020 18:00

You seem a bit drama over a bunch of flowers OP

By indulging in a little online whinging? Not really dramatic in my book.

OP posts:
ArgumentativeAardvaark · 17/06/2020 18:01

YANBU at all OP! You listed every single thing about them that annoys me too. I was just thinking this on Sunday as my lovely DH has some delivered for our wedding anniversary. I also get them on my birthday and Mother’s Day. I can never tell him...

Also my pet hate is when dinner guests turn up with flowers and I have to break off cooking to find a vase, cut the stems (I never have the right scissors) put the food in the water and clear a place to display them. Just bring me chocolate!

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 17/06/2020 18:05

Grinch!

I love flowers - even buying them for myself, I rarely get sent them.
Yesterday evening there was a lovely box of flowers in the lobby for another apartment.
All that had arrived for me was a bottle of cat worming liquid.
Mind you, today is my cats' anniversary (of coming to live with me) - she usually has a present, which she didn't today, as I've not been out. I know she doesn't really know, but I did feel a bit mean with just a bottle of cat-wormer to offer her.

teaflake · 17/06/2020 18:09

Do you know, I think I'm with you, op!

It was our wedding anniversary recently and dh asked if I fancied some flowers. And I thought, nah, can't be bothered!

Sunbird24 · 17/06/2020 18:12

All the adverts I’m getting on this thread are for sympathy flowers OP!
I do quite like getting flowers because it so rarely happens, but my favourites are always the ones I bring home from my parents garden when I visit. No faffing with packaging or arranging required, and they just go in water in an empty coffee jar, but they give a lovely homely feeling (and usually smell amazing) for the week they last.

fuckoffImcounting · 17/06/2020 18:17

I bloody hate them. On my birthday I get loads of the buggers. It takes ages to get them all into their vases with their annoying 'food'. Then hanging around for weeks wilting like harbingers of death. It is such a climate killing present too - I don't know why people do it. I have been thanking my dear ones for sending them for many years so I don't have the heart now to tell them to just stop it - I fucking hate them.

LimitIsUp · 17/06/2020 18:19

I like a bunch of flowers - but from a florist not a supermarket bunch.

Butteredtoast55 · 17/06/2020 18:23

Each to their own, but this thread is nearly as depressing as the one where the OP was asking if she was BU for throwing Christmas cards in the bin without opening them.
What happened to the days when people were pleased that someone had cared enough about them to send a gift, no matter how hideous? and how have we got to the point where putting flowers in a vase is so difficult?