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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour upset my wife

213 replies

DaddyofMonsters · 14/06/2020 20:32

We’ve just moved into a new town and are renting a house while we find the right property to buy. We’ve been in three days and the next door neighbour came round while I was out walking the dog and harassed my wife into moving her car so he could park outside his house. It’s on street parking, no allocated spaces. He was aggressive and made my wife leave my 3 year old daughter sat on the wall outside while she moved the car. As I arrived back I just saw her parking up and going back in. I got the full story with tears inside and I was of course furious and ready to storm round and give him a few choice words. However, we’re only going to be here for 6 months while we buy and my wife begged me not to go confront him so AIBU to want to go explain exactly why he should not come and be rude to my wife while she’s alone with the kids?

OP posts:

Billben · 16/06/2020 18:33

I would next time you see him speak to him, apologise he may explain.

Apologise 😂🤣😂 Don’t be daft

LittleMissnotLittleMrs · 16/06/2020 18:47

“ AIBU to want to go explain exactly why he should not come and be rude? “
The next bit is just not needed to my wife while she’s alone with the kids?

Fixed your statement, OP. Don’t buy in to casual sexism please. It’s irrelevant it’s your wife, it’s irrelevant she’s alone with your children unless you’re happy for him to come round if your dad was there alone or if you were alone with the children.

LookOnTheBrightSide1 · 16/06/2020 19:16

If it's not allocated parking and just street parking where everyone just takes a space that's available then this guy was in the wrong to ask your wife to move the car. I do think that she should may be have stuck up for herself, and told the guy where to go, but that's just me, and I don't take being pushed around by other people ! I would advise to leave it for now, but if it happens again either your wife or you can tell him to jog on!

Devora13 · 16/06/2020 22:54

Am I missing something here? I don't agree with bullying behaviour but is it so unreasonable that someone be allowed to park outside their own house? We've had this happen a few times, and if you're coming home with a massive grocery shop and two disabled children, it is rather good to be able to get quickly and easily from car into your own house?

BluebellForest836 · 16/06/2020 23:01

@Devora13 - it would be nice to park outside your own house but if someone is already there then it’s tough shit basically. You don’t have a right to that space and if your children are that disabled then get the council to install a disabled space for you.

BluebellForest836 · 16/06/2020 23:04

Everyone wants to park outside of their house but if someone is parked outside of my house am I meant to go and park up around the corner instead of park in the neighbors space right next door
Maybe I want to just quickly walk to my house to with my massive shop instead of making 3 trips round the corner.
So yes it is unreasonable to expect to park outside of your own house if it’s not a designated parking space for you.
First come first served like everyone else.

Mama05 · 16/06/2020 23:26

His wife clearly felt intimidated

Yanbu to be hacked off but for the sake of a amicable living arrangement for the next 6 months I’d just keep out of his way and if he does try to speak to you or keep him at arms length

Petlover9 · 17/06/2020 12:04

With street parking it is first come first parked. He is a bully but your wife needs to stand up to him and if he becomes abusive call the police who will explain the rules of street parking to him. If he bangs on the door, ignore, or like another poster said, pretend not to hear. I would not move my car to suit him, the sooner that you are out of there with your own drive, the better.
He sounds a right obnoxious peasant

understandmenow · 17/06/2020 15:37

Not missing anything @Devora13, but you do not own the street outside your home. If someone is parked there it's tough luck really.

Although if you have disabled children, you should maybe apply for a designated bay? That would be the best and fairest option for you.

Devora13 · 17/06/2020 17:06

23:01BluebellForest836
'THAT DISABLED' . What an interesting turn of phrase, would you care to elaborate?

ComeBy · 17/06/2020 17:25

@DaddyofMonsters it doesn’t have to be ‘storming round with choice words’.

I would;
Go round, introduce yourself and say you are a new neighbour, and say you understand there was some issue with parking in the road, can he explain? Then say ‘I’m sure we all prefer to park outside our own house when possible and we’ll bear that in mind but in the end it’s the public road. My wife was a bit upset at the way you spoke to her about it. Hopefully we can all remain civil and make the best of parking in the road”.

And support your wife to have some calm responses ready to hand. “My car is legally parked, can you park over the road and move when we go out? I cannot leave the child atm”. Etc.

I can understand her feeling intimidated but not enough to leave a 3 yo sitting unsupervised in a wall.

BluebellForest836 · 18/06/2020 00:01

@Devora13 🤔 No, I don’t feel the need. I will phrase things how I like.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 18/06/2020 14:17

Devora13

One of the several problems with saying that everybody should have the exclusive or preferential rights to park outside their own house is that plenty of people don't have any parking spaces outside their homes - or at least not sufficient. What if you have double yellow lines or a crossing outside your house? What if you live right on the corner of a junction or if you live in a large three-storey house with no drive that has been converted into six flats, but there isn't room for more than two cars on the road in front of it? Where are people in this position meant to park?

It's all very well to say "I'm alright, Jack" and lay claim to public land when it suits you, but what are other people who have equal claim to that public land meant to do? This is precisely why people invest in private property when they're able to: your private land is reserved for your use only; public land is, as the name strongly suggests, for the use of the public.

Given that the very nature of cars is that they're designed to move about, why is it fair to expect nobody to ever park in front of your house, just in case you come back and want to park there yourself, even though you might be away for 9 hours at work every day or even away for a fortnight on holiday?

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