To feel sorry for woman who believe their lip fillers make them more attractive??

[Starcup]

It’s not really AIBU as it’s my opinion but anyway...

I was at work yesterday and a young woman came in and clear as day had lip fillers. I was looking thinking , I can not understand why people pay to have this done. It looks awful.

You can tell straight away that they’ve had fillers

I assume slightly enhancing them can be a positive in some cases, but some just go too far until they look like comedy lips and over do it.

I was just looking thinking, I bet that woman looked more appealing and attractive to the average person with her own, natural lips!

I felt sorry for her that she was thinking that would make her more attractive....

I dread my DD growing up seeing these imagines and finding them beautiful.

Totally agree. Sister had hers done and she looked like a duck. That with celebrity style veneers, she looked plastic

I would never say anything to anyone as it’s their choice but I would hope the blow up lip look is over soon, before dd is old enough to do it 😩

I love my lip fillers and I look fabulous. I dont need your pity thanks- I'm incredibly happy with my appearance!

PS. At least I dont use my spare time criticising other women online. I find that a very ugly trait

I don’t feel sorry for women who undergo this procedure. Having seen how much it costs I envy them having that kind of cash to spare!

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

Good for you!

They look absolutely hilarious or hideous depending what mood I am in.

Why women do these things to themselves is unfathomable to me,what will they look like in years to come!!

No it doesn’t make them look more attractive at all.It is really sad.

I think it’s a shame that this is the fashion. That we are desensitised to what is actually over the top and fake.

Botox is a funny one. I’m pondering having it again. But can’t make my mind up. My DH never noticed neither did family (they would have said, DH very against it) and friends would have asked. But one very eagle eyed friend who works in the entertainment industry clocked I’d had it. So unless I had bad Botox?! I think quite often you can tell. I think men are bad at spotting it!!

I get mine done every two years. I'm 51 and without fillers my lips are almost non existent if I don't have any lipstick on. I have about 0.3 millimetres of filler now I have normal lips. Don't feel sorry for me, I just want normal lips and am fortunate and confident enough to do so.getting about it. The rest of the filler I have in my jowl area (so I don't look sad and tired) and sometimes a bit in my cheeks which lifts the now I area. My dermatologist is great.

I agree. I simply don’t understand how other women think this is a good look. It’s like an allergic reaction or they’ve face planted themselves. That and butt fillers , makes them look deformed.

I see a lot of women with overfilled lips. Personally it isnt for me but some people actively want that look.

However, there are lots of people who have a little bit and it looks nice and natural. You don't notice those ones because it looks nice and natural. Really it is about how good the injector is. Some will refuse to overfill.

I understand if you have thin lips though and you get a tiny amount.
Just not the overdone ones which many are.

I'm in the live and let live camp but I think people who do that 'no one's noticed' thing are deluded, you can always tell just most people are too polite to say.

each to their own. I also think they make women look as if they have been punched in the mouth, not pretty. They have been a laughing stock since the days of the trout pout.

if that's how you want to look, go for it. You won't get compliments from me, or any comments at all of course.

I've never understood why that overfull look is popular but it never crossed my mind to think much more than that.

Until last week. I saw a young, attractive woman with painfully swollen lips. They were alarmingly large in her face, very painful and odd looking.

She was happily yattering away on her phone and passers by were, in the main, trying not to stare.

I did wonder why, and why nobody loved her enough to tell her she didn't need it.

Very big of you to feel bad for other women who don't look nice in your opinion in OP.

Are you suggesting that there is something mentally wrong with them that they can't see how bad they look if they've had lip fillers? I think it should be fairly obvious that not everyone who's had the same cosmetic procedure looks the same or is doing it for reasons that require pity.

I wouldnt personally want the look of very full on lip fillers myself, but there are a lot of things I don't like on others so wouldn't do to myself. I don't feel sorry for the women doing them . I doubt they like everything I choose to present myself as. I'm sure they all have different rationales and whatever you think, and whatever most men say, it seems in practice most men rather enjoy exaggerated features. That is what a lot of them seem to be looking at online a lot of the time IMO, if instagram models and celebs popularity and porn is a frame of reference.

The give away with all lips that have been filled is that they always, always look suspiciously smooth and taut

Nah, I think the giveaway is if the products has migrated into surrounding tissue eg duck pout. That’s from poor technique.

@cheeseismydownfall

I don't like them, at all.

I'm torn, because on the one hand, I absolutely believe that everyone should be free to make whatever choices they like about their personal appearance, and that as long as the individual is happy with their choice then no one else has any right to give a shiny shit about it.

But.

To me, the style of lip fillers to which the OP is referring seem to be done with the purpose of creating an idealised, highly sexualised version of womanhood that is reflected in (driven by?) the porn industry. They are blow job lips. I question whether or not the women choosing these fillers are pleasing themselves, or satisfying a particularly depressing male fantasy.

But perhaps I am overthinking it. As I said, I'm torn.

Agree with all that. I also worry about side-effects. Though they are rare with fillers, they can happen. Any time you pierce the skin, there is a risk of infection, and there is also a risk of reaction to the filler.

And you're stuck with the effect until it wears off. With make up, you can be glammed to the max for a night out, then make up free the next day.

Everyone saying 'you can always tell' is making me laugh- you know that makes no sense, right?

You can only tell, if you can tell.

If you can't tell, then how would you know?

To those who are saying whatever makes them happy, they might find it beautiful etc., our notions of what constitutes beauty are heavily influenced by what we see around us. Influencers promote a particular 'look' as an idealised form of the human face, emphasising full lips and a tapered nose. It's sad that many young women spend thousands to achieve this look, simply because they have been fed a notion that this is what it is to be beautiful and they don't feel they conform to this notion.

This article outlines the issue of wanting to achieve the 'look' well:

www.newyorker.com/culture/decade-in-review/the-age-of-instagram-face

These are my lips

If they genuinely like looking that way it's fair enough, but if they're doing it for men then yuck. Patriarchy has enough power withouut us pandering to it.

I watched a documentary about cosmetic surgery and more than one person mentioned that the visible appearance of having work done was also slightly important as it meant people knew that they had the means to spent money on expensive luxuries.

Bit like the facial equivalent of an very expensive handbag emblazoned with logos.

First pic have fillers

I think it's something to do with the smoothness and the way they don't taper to the side of the mouth as gradually when they've been done. They look wide all the way along, even when not a lot of filler has been put in.

@YeahWhatevver

I watched a documentary about cosmetic surgery and more than one person mentioned that the visible appearance of having work done was also slightly important as it meant people knew that they had the means to spent money on expensive luxuries.

Bit like the facial equivalent of an very expensive handbag emblazoned with logos.

How weird! Was that in the US?