To feel sorry for woman who believe their lip fillers make them more attractive??

[Starcup]

It’s not really AIBU as it’s my opinion but anyway...

I was at work yesterday and a young woman came in and clear as day had lip fillers. I was looking thinking , I can not understand why people pay to have this done. It looks awful.

You can tell straight away that they’ve had fillers

I assume slightly enhancing them can be a positive in some cases, but some just go too far until they look like comedy lips and over do it.

I was just looking thinking, I bet that woman looked more appealing and attractive to the average person with her own, natural lips!

I felt sorry for her that she was thinking that would make her more attractive....

I dread my DD growing up seeing these imagines and finding them beautiful.

@Starcup

*I'm not starting threads intended to cause pile-on of sneering at those who make personal decisions that have no effect on me*

@ShebaShimmyShake

But you keep trying to twist the intention of the thread.

You said you had Botox, therefore it seems to me you’re taking it personally that I don’t find these procedures attractive. Of course you’re not going to agree with me.... because you actively pay to have it done.... so of course you’re not going to be happy about this thread.

You doing your best to try and make it sound like it’s awful and that’s it.

You might not like what I have to say but it doesn’t mean it’s not thread worthy. I have explained (if you care to read the full thread instead of cherry picking the bits you want) that I find it sad that society places so much emphasis on how a woman should like- that they put chemicals in to them.

Must if these young women would look far better with they’d natural lips but society’s makes it that they want to go ahead and achieve that look

That’s fair enough it’s their choice but am I not allowed to say I think they look better without??

It’s the same as too much make up- often they would look better with less on so it’s a shame they are made to feel they need to confirm.

Lastly, it’s a choice they make. It’s like be saying I’m not a fan of that new grey hair look that all the young women are wanting now... they would look better with the normal
natural colour. The difference is there though the chemicals aren’t getting pumped into they’d bodies in what is considered an unregulated industry.

I am worried for when my dd get to an age that she might want to do that. So am I not allowed to bring it up?!

Oh, whatever, OP. Now that you've found that starting spiteful threads doesn't bring you joy, I hope you find your self esteem someday and learn how to be happy.

Personally I think it all looks horrific. Fake tan, fake boobs, fake hair, fake lashes, make up applied by a trowel. I really does all look fake and awful but it's my opinion - each to their own. I'm sure people look at me and think I look awful too.

I've seen some horrendous ones and wonder how they're breathing
I think some people do as much as they can because of how expensive it is so they get what they pay for.

Popping on quickly to thank ShebaShimmyShake and I'm glad that there are some who can see through this 'faux concern' from the OP.

OP, yes, you should be afraid for your daughter. She is very likely to grow up to find herself the butt of judgement and criticism, if not from you then from women just like you who feel the need to post their opinions of what she will wear, look like and any other little thing that doesn't fit within their stupid and narrow parameters.

You did that. You can posture all you like but, this is you. Sadly, my daughter will also run into women like you and your spiteful cohort on this thread. The best that I can do for her is to teach her not to be afraid to stand her ground, that she looks fine as she is - and that another person's opinion of her self matters not a whit. If she dyes her hair grey or has botox, I will support her. I might not like her choices but they're hers. Nobody makes choices in a vacuum, I've been reminded of that many times, it's true, we don't but if we can't look to our own sex not to parody and ridicule us then what hope do we have?

Slow hand-clap for you and your vacuous judgement. I truly do understand where you're coming from but it's no place I want to venture. I feel sorry that your life is so small and insignificant that this is the best you can do.

We may not be able to get around the patriarchy but we really ought to have the nous to stop doing this judgemental bitching. Germain Greer said that 'Women have no idea how much men hate them'. That may be so, but it's very closely followed by the utter contempt and disdain that so many women seem to have for other women... over such little things.

I’ve never yet see someone with lip fillers looking good in profile ( even if they look reasonable from the front ).

If done correctly lip fillers can make you look better, especially if you have very thin lips or lines above your lips. Some people have allergic reaction to the filler and local anaesthetic that is injected into the lips which makes the lips swell up quite dramatically for 3 or 4 days and that does look stupid. If the person puts too much filler in it can also look stupid but done properly it can enhance the way you look I think.As you are , after your thirties and I go your 40s your skin and lips get thinner as they lose collagen with the ageing process so again fillers can make you look a bit younger.

"We may not be able to get around the patriarchy but we really ought to have the nous to stop doing this judgemental bitching. Germain Greer said that 'Women have no idea how much men hate them'. That may be so, but it's very closely followed by the utter contempt and disdain that so many women seem to have for other women... over such little things."

^^
This is pretty much correct, how very, very sad 'we' are, on the whole.
I always equated abject bitchiness as a symptom of the competitiveness foisted upon us by virtue of a patriarchal society.
That doesn't stand up to scrutiny very well when it is middle aged, married women doing the bitching.

Men, for all their faults just don't talk about each other this way, do they?

LyinWitchenTheWardrobe
Well said😊

You can tell Michelle Keegan's had filler in her top lip, because when she smiles there's a small horizontal line between her philtrum and the middle cartilage at the bottom of her nose.

This is a common side effect of top lip filler - the additional volume means that it stretches the skin and causes a fold when you smile. It's particularly prevalent on Jessica Biel (Justin Timberlake's wife).

So often 'tweakments' look great in posed and well lit photos, but are immediately noticeable and jarring in real life when you try and talk, because they alter the natural movement in your face.

@Tappering

I have that indentation too when I smile and my lips haven't been filled, its just a consequence of having a full upper lip.

Yes thos women have had fillers, but that's not how you can tell, if I hadn't seen their before photos I would not have known they had.

As the mother of a 20 something DD, I hope this ‘fashion’ to look like a blow up doll passes.

She’s been through the Cuprinol phase, lost some of her beautiful naturally long eyelashes with the fake Daddy long legs look, she’s plucked her eyebrows into oblivion, wanted to try lip fillers but thankfully has been put off by seeing how her peers look with them! She’s taking about having Botox now when she’s not even old enough to have any lines. It’s just bloody ridiculous, men don’t do all this stuff to themselves to make themselves more attractive and it shouldn’t be encouraged. SM and filters has ruined a generation of young women.

YANBU.

I'd hate my dds to get anything like lip fillers but ultimately it's their body

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

As the mother of a 20 something DD, I hope this ‘fashion’ to look like a blow up doll passes.

That is exactly what they resemble.

Wow, fishing comment alert!!!!

It’s simple, everyone has different likes/dislikes so if you don’t like it that’s fine, but it’s ridiculous to ask if you are being unreasonable because by slagging someone off for making themselves feel better about themselves, is clearly unreasonable.

I mean there are some women who refuse to date short men. They can’t do anything about it. Those same women jump on the fat shaming bandwagon, which is something with hard work and commitment you can change.

The thing is being attractive is a mental state as well as physical! I have 2 friends, one is physically more attractive than the other. However, the other picks her outfits to show off good bits and hide the not so good. Then she is far more confident when she talks to people so gets loads more attention on nights out.

So 100% unreasonable, you may not like it, but if she’s happy with it there will be plenty of men who will like it, but main point is she is happy with the change!

Men don’t generally like the overly made up look, though. What they do claim to like is a natural look. That look takes time and skill, of course!

Hotsince82, No, I don't believe that men do talk about each other like this. It doesn't have an end-game, does it? Other than to temporarily bolster somebody's poor self-esteem.

I don't like lip fillers myself, I don't need them - like a PP I too was bullied at school for full lips (along with big boobs and curly hair). In a way it damaged me somewhat but it also strengthened my resolve to stand up against this judgement of other women.

I don't have tattoos or piercings or cosmetic surgery (other than a breast reduction that I really shouldn't have had, at just turned 15 years old). I don't pass negative comment on anybody's appearance. If I haven't anything nice to say to them then I just don't say anything.

I don't see the point in threads like this because it never does just stop at "Fillers? No, I don't like those" or "people don't need these, they look better without". That's benign and non-offensive but all the value judgements come in and that's in full knowledge that people reading may well have x, y, z enhancement so they are being roundly insulted.

OP defends her right to say what she likes but then lots of groups with some fairly disgusting opinions claim the same 'privilege', don't they?

Sadly it's not just you, Starcup, you could insert any other activity for 'fillers' and the same rabid and mean responses are guaranteed. That's the limitation of some women and it's actually tragic. We as a sex have enough going on with men trying to control and take away what we have without this from our own.

"candilemon

Men don’t generally like the overly made up look, though. What they do claim to like is a natural look. That look takes time and skill, of course!"

At least you are honest, it really is always all about the male gaze...

Trouble with surgery is you mostly just look like you've had surgery. Might as well wear a t-shirt with 'inferiority complex' printed on it.

@HotSince82

"candilemon

Men don’t generally like the overly made up look, though. What they do claim to like is a natural look. That look takes time and skill, of course!"

At least you are honest, it really is always all about the male gaze...

Eh? If men prefer a natural look, cosmetic procedures aren't for their benefit at all.

YABU

@HotSince82 but it's a dead giveaway on someone who never previously had that line, and then suddenly develops it. Especially when it's accompanied by a previous thin top lip looking much plumper. As I said, things that aren't obvious in photos can really jump out at you when you're in front of that person and they are talking to you.

@LyingWichin

You actually come across as passive aggressive and someone who has nominated themselves the ‘do gooder’ and voice of reason of this site.

If you don’t agree with a post then you will pull it to shreds and try to belittle the people that don’t agree with you.

The irony is that you appear to be somewhat controlling with your posts. Then try to patronise and belittle the person you disagree with.

You are very articulate and that guises it as someone informed and well intentional, but the reality there is an undertone of superiority.

I feel you focus on the a particular element of a post and run with that without putting it in to context and giving it a fair hearing.

You seem fixated on women judging other women and how awful it is- yet you fail to mention that was only your perception of the post.

You fail to mention that I voiced concern for WHY women feel the need to alter their bodies and that’s what makes me feel sad. If we weren’t under pressure then we perhaps wouldn’t do it to out bodies.

I’m ok with you not agreeing with me and thinking I was being a ‘bitch’ in my original post. But that is your opinion and of course you can hold that view.

I see it, that if someone is thinking of getting them, they may decide against it as they think ‘well actually people think they look nice without pumping them up so perhaps I don’t need to?’

I shan’t be relying to anymore of your posts because it’s boring. Have a great weekend

Haha. LyingWitch is one of the most perceptive and compassionate posters we have on here. Try harder.