Who is being unreasonable about toddler eating crayon?

[Ellona]

Hello lovely mumsnetters I'm in need of some perspective as I feel so guilty and crap I cant think straight.

So basically I have two DC 8 and 1.5years. I wont pussy foot around they were stressing me out so I decided to put 1.5year old in play pen and go out for a fag forgetting to check whether there was anything I the play pen as little one likes to throw things in there. So I've gone out the back and didn't realise there was a crayon In there. Partner comes in shouting get in here now as little one is eating a crayon and wtf was I thinking not checking before I went out. I immediately apologised and feel terrible at this point. He has basically said if anything happends to little one he will get my parents to come and get them beat me up and go to prison as I'm a terrible mother for not making sure he is safe and I shouldn't be trusted with the children alone. I know I was wrong and thank god the crayons are toddler friendly( non toxic). And I totally understand people lashing out when they are angry.

So my question is am I a terrible mother for allowing this to happen? I've always considered myself a good mother and nothing like this has happened before but I cant shake the feeling terrible and I'm starting to doubt myself.

Please be brutally honest I can take it.

Your parents would beat you up?! It's a crayon. It's nontoxic. His reaction was way over the top.

Your partner is a dick

Wtf he sounds horrible. Is he normally like this? The worst that will happen with a crayon is coloured poop. You're not a bad mother.

If crayons were toxic then most kids would never make it to adulthood. Your partner owes you an apology.

Thank you for your quick replies.

@steff13 sorry I didn't make that very clear. He would call my parents to collect the children so they dont see him beating me up.

@adelaya he is usually very dramatic/protective when it comes to the children although he has never threatened to beat me up before.

I do feel terrible this has happened but now I feel at a loss because my partner feels he is completely in the right and nothing I say or do makes it better. Everyone is in bed whilst I'm in the bathroom and I just cant stop crying.

The issue here isn't the crayon, it's that your partner threatened to beat you up. He sounds unstable and dangerous. Are you safe now?

If he's threatened to beat you up, I think you need to call your parents to come get you and the children.

He is showing you who he really is now. Believe him before it is too late.

He’s fucking nasty. Nothing you dud warrants violence from him

Did*

Get rid, he sounds like a complete psycho

He's abusive. You need to make plans to leave.

What do you mean by "nothing I say or do makes it better"?

It's time to leave, or at least get some serious relationship counselling.
You can't have your children growing up with a man like that.

The reason crayons are non-toxic is because children knaw on them.

He threatened to have the children taken away so he could give you a beating. A non-toxic crayon is the least of the issues here. It’s not as simple as “leave”, but that’s what you need to start planning to do. Do you want your children to think that’s the normal way relationships are conducted? That’s not getting protective over the children. That’s being a violent, out of control bully.

I just read your update. It's time to leave.

He uses the children as a way of attacking you.

There will be many more accidents over time - nature of children.

Tell someone in real life what has happened, even if you don’t want to ‘report it’ or anything. Just for your own safety.

As soon as you’re able, get any paperwork you need, maybe squirrel away some money if you can. Be prepared.
Believe what he is showing you.

OP, this is very scary to read (and I don't mean the crayon, which is a total non-event).

Your partner sounds out of control. Can you and your DC go somewhere else for a few days or forever? Does he overreact like this over other things?

Also, as an aside, he’s also a fucking parent, what was to stop him dealing with the little one? It doesn’t fall to you just because you’ve got a vagina

Sweetheart, this is absolutely terrifying. Your partner has told you that he will beat you up so badly that he will be imprisoned as a result and you're on here asking us if YOU did anything wrong? Please can you tell anyone in RL who will help you make steps to leave this vile, awful man?

Child eats crayon - probably a feature of every child's growing up.
Partner threatens to beat you up because child eats crayon - abuse. He's a nasty fucker.
Can you go to your parents? Start planning an exit strategy.

It really troubles me that you think the issue here is your parenting and not over a man who has threatened you with violence

A toddler eating a crayon is the least of your worries.