Who is being unreasonable about toddler eating crayon?

[Ellona]

Hello lovely mumsnetters I'm in need of some perspective as I feel so guilty and crap I cant think straight.

So basically I have two DC 8 and 1.5years. I wont pussy foot around they were stressing me out so I decided to put 1.5year old in play pen and go out for a fag forgetting to check whether there was anything I the play pen as little one likes to throw things in there. So I've gone out the back and didn't realise there was a crayon In there. Partner comes in shouting get in here now as little one is eating a crayon and wtf was I thinking not checking before I went out. I immediately apologised and feel terrible at this point. He has basically said if anything happends to little one he will get my parents to come and get them beat me up and go to prison as I'm a terrible mother for not making sure he is safe and I shouldn't be trusted with the children alone. I know I was wrong and thank god the crayons are toddler friendly( non toxic). And I totally understand people lashing out when they are angry.

So my question is am I a terrible mother for allowing this to happen? I've always considered myself a good mother and nothing like this has happened before but I cant shake the feeling terrible and I'm starting to doubt myself.

Please be brutally honest I can take it.

@Ellona this is all to familiar a path to me now and I've not been on here this long. But the women here know what they are talking about and they are never wrong.

There's so much going through your head now about how you got drawn in, didn't notice etc etc but many do. Smart women, nice women, it makes no difference.

The only thing that matters is that you are still depressed because you are still being bullied and your children are seeing abuse. Dump your counsellor and find one that's more supportive. Be open with your family. Get in touch with friends. And finally, see a very good solicitor and make sure you get copies of paperwork before you do anything else.

A lot to take in and none of those things stop you from staying but they do give you the means to go as you work towards coming to terms with it.

You don't deserve this. It's just bullying. I know people with adhd and this isn't it. It's a lot darker than that I'm afraid.

If he thought you were a terrible mother, he wouldn't let you be responsible for the children's safety. He only says this to keep you controlled.

What Wombofonesown said

@WombOfOnesOwn

If he thought you were a terrible mother, he wouldn't let you be responsible for the children's safety. He only says this to keep you controlled.

Spot on!!

The problem is not that he is over protective the problem is his abusive temper. He is just masking it with being protective.

He sounds like he is awful! That’s terrible things to say to you. Accidents happen- why wasn’t he watching the kids. You are allowed 5mins alone. You should go back to yo parents if you can.