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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Be furious with my sister

224 replies

Justus77 · 05/06/2020 10:28

Bit of background, weve never really got on, have felt bullied by her my whole life. Have gone NC over last few years as dealing with her was too much for my mental health.

In 2002 we inherited my aunts house. It was mortgage free and was rented to a lovely family who have been there since then. My sister has now decided that she wants to take the cash. She has offered to sell me her half but as im currently waiting to move into a new build and all the costs associated with that I am not in a position to do this. That was the only contact we had and it was just 4 short emails.

She has then taken the matter to court and the courts have now ordered the property be sold which whilst upsetting given that I cant afford to buy her out is entirely her perogative.The order also states that we both must have conduct of the sale. My sister has appointed an estate agent and has signed off on the terms of the sale.

My question is AIBU to feel really annoyed that she has taken it upon herself to do this with no discussion. The family who live there hadnt yet been informed that we were selling the property and I have no more information?

OP posts:
Sally872 · 05/06/2020 10:32

She said "buy me out" you said "cant afford it" then it went to court? Is there nothing missing here?

Are you happy with estate agent and price? If so l would go along with it.

Someone should communicate with the family asap, and rather than arguing/delaying I would do that.

ToelessPobble · 05/06/2020 10:33

I think you are being unfair on your sister. Why should she not be able to access the cash of she has need of it for what she wants to do. Either try and get a buy to let mortgage and pay market value for her half (surely the bank would agree that as there would be a 50% deposit). Yes she should have discussed which agent with you but I wonder if you would have cooperated based on her having had to take you to court to agree to sell. You have a choice to cooperate or lose your relationship with her. The only thing I do think she was very unreasonable about was not informing the family living there.

ItsNotAGameOfSubbuteoMatthew · 05/06/2020 10:35

If the order says you should both be involved then yes SIBU to do it solely on her own without involving you.

MouthBreathingRage · 05/06/2020 10:36

I'm not sure she was unreasonable wanting to access her money either. If you're NC and you didn't seem to be trying to find alternative options, what other choices did she have?

WidowTwonky · 05/06/2020 10:42

YANBU. She should have discussed it with you before agreeing anything with estate agents etc

Mycatsmellsbad · 05/06/2020 10:45

It sounds like she just wanted to get things moving and you weren’t doing anything so left her with no choice. You are both responsible for the property so why haven’t you informed the family about what’s happening?

heartsonacake · 05/06/2020 10:48

@Mycatsmellsbad

It sounds like she just wanted to get things moving and you weren’t doing anything so left her with no choice. You are both responsible for the property so why haven’t you informed the family about what’s happening?
This. And she’s not unreasonable to want her share of the money from the property.
lljkk · 05/06/2020 10:49

Need more details on timeline.
When did she ask you to buy her out, and when did she start court proceedings?

recycledteenager24 · 05/06/2020 10:51

i feel for the family tbh, about to lose their home and nobody has told them yet ?? your dsis is bu not being more open with you about the sale but again half of it is her money so it's horses for courses i guess.
can't help thinking there is more to this than you are telling us though, but obviously that is your choice what you want to share.

recycledteenager24 · 05/06/2020 10:52

mycat your moggy needs a bath by the sounds of it Grin

crazychemist · 05/06/2020 10:52

Not sure who IBU here. You both own it, so while I'd hope that sisters could come to an agreement, she does have the right to her half of the capital, and if you can't buy her out she has the right to push the sale. It would be extremely harsh for her to go straight to court without speaking to you first, but if you won't respond to her, she might not have any other choice.

I imagine you could get a mortgage for the second half of it if you really wanted to - it's got guaranteed income from rent, and there's effectively a 50% deposit on it. I suppose it depends on the overall value, but worth a try? Otherwise, I'm afraid she can just push it through.

Basically, speak to her!

walkingchuckydoll · 05/06/2020 10:52

My question is AIBU to feel really annoyed that she has taken it upon herself to do this with no discussion.

She discussed it with you and you refused to buy her out or sell the property. You're the one in the wrong here.

Bjornthebear · 05/06/2020 10:53

On the limited information YABU.

As the courts have confirmed the default position is to sell the asset and convert it into cash. You have had many years to pursue a buy out but nothing has been done.

To oppose the sale, as you must have done, is unreasonable.

Howmuchlongercanthislast · 05/06/2020 10:53

How unfair on her- she shouldn't have needed to take it to court. If you cant afford to buy her out you should have immediately agreed to sell.

Atalune · 05/06/2020 10:53

It sounds like she just wanted to get things moving and you weren’t doing anything so left her with no choice. You are both responsible for the property so why haven’t you informed the family about what’s happening?

Hit the nail on the head.

Unfortunately, she wants the cash. You seem to be obstructing that.

You could pretty easily get a buy to let I think- you need 40% deposit in the house.

TiddyTid · 05/06/2020 10:55

Look into BTL mortgage?

UnfinishedSymphon · 05/06/2020 10:55

Hopefully she/you have let the tenants know?

EggysMom · 05/06/2020 10:55

i feel for the family tbh, about to lose their home and nobody has told them yet ??

They might not - it could be sold to somebody willing to be a landlord, who'd then be happy to keep the current (reliable) tenant. But I would agree, they need to be told of the possibility of being given notice if the prospective buyer doesn't want to keep them as tenants. They might get a shock when the EA comes round to put up a sign!

OP, contact the EA and insist that you are advised of all viewings, copied into all correspondence etc - you don't want your sister to accept a low offer simply to speed the receipt of money. Make it clear to the EA that it's joint ownership and a joint sale.

Howmuchlongercanthislast · 05/06/2020 10:56

The cost of court will come from the profit of the sale. There is speculation that house prices will drip/drop and so selling earlier may have been more profitable. You will both have CGT liabilities- by agreeing a sale process you may have been able to maximise allowances- but now that is not an option.

Howmuchlongercanthislast · 05/06/2020 10:57

You could pretty easily get a buy to let I think- you need 40% deposit in the house.

Depends on the rental value. After 18 years there is a good rental history but if that rental amount is not viable for a BTL the fact it is already rented may be detrimental.

Atalune · 05/06/2020 11:00

howmuch thanks for the info, I didn’t know that.

The rules have changed since we did it.

2020again · 05/06/2020 11:01

Is she able to even put the house on the market via a specific agent without you signing its terms and conditions? You are joint owners how has she managed to do that?

I agreee with the above suggestion about trying to get a BTL mortage. Do the numbers stack up for this? If it has been let with no issues for 8 years it sounds like a good investment.

2020again · 05/06/2020 11:02

I meant 18 years which makes it sound an even safer bet.

Jeremyironsnothing · 05/06/2020 11:03

You should be able to get a btl mortgage with a 50% deposit.

MiniCooperLover · 05/06/2020 11:04

You make it sound like she's done all of this in a very short timeframe, yet that won't have been possible. You've had as much chance to inform the tenants as she has. Why haven't you?

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