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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Be furious with my sister

224 replies

Justus77 · 05/06/2020 10:28

Bit of background, weve never really got on, have felt bullied by her my whole life. Have gone NC over last few years as dealing with her was too much for my mental health.

In 2002 we inherited my aunts house. It was mortgage free and was rented to a lovely family who have been there since then. My sister has now decided that she wants to take the cash. She has offered to sell me her half but as im currently waiting to move into a new build and all the costs associated with that I am not in a position to do this. That was the only contact we had and it was just 4 short emails.

She has then taken the matter to court and the courts have now ordered the property be sold which whilst upsetting given that I cant afford to buy her out is entirely her perogative.The order also states that we both must have conduct of the sale. My sister has appointed an estate agent and has signed off on the terms of the sale.

My question is AIBU to feel really annoyed that she has taken it upon herself to do this with no discussion. The family who live there hadnt yet been informed that we were selling the property and I have no more information?

OP posts:
fruitbrewhaha · 05/06/2020 14:09

I can see why she wouldn't accept 30% of the value, she would be crazy to. I think that pissed her off.

recycledbottle · 05/06/2020 14:10

I dont understand the 30% cash? Was she entilted to 50% but you offered her 30% to buy her out? Was that the x in the last email?

Original poster
Justus77 · 05/06/2020 14:10
  • fruibrewhaha - why? she would still own 20%?
OP posts:
Original poster
Justus77 · 05/06/2020 14:11

sorry recycled - offered her 30% for 30% so she would still own 20%. I could have afforded to do that

OP posts:
TheLashKingOfScotland · 05/06/2020 14:13

I think the key point is that she has something else she wants to invest in so her focus is on getting a quick sale hence the price being lower.

pinktaxi · 05/06/2020 14:14

YABU. You opted to go NC with her. You opted not to buy her out. She wanted access to her share of the property, so she took steps to ensure that. You will also benefit from the cash for your move.

Your relationship with her isn't amicable so what did you expect, chats over coffee? I feel sorry for the family living there.

Original poster
Justus77 · 05/06/2020 14:15

Im so conflicted in myself. I do agree ThelashkingofScotland but i had no say in how much its marketed at. I am genuinely not a greedy person and I know how lucky I was to be a benefactor of something so big.

But i think the past and now feeling like i did then when i have done so much to get over the way i felt then is making my judgement extremely clouded.

OP posts:
Original poster
Justus77 · 05/06/2020 14:18
  • pinktaxi - not chats over coffee but maybe a im selling for x with so and so agent. I undertand she wanted her money, i never said no im not selling or wouldnt consider it. I wasnt given a chance then and no i feel its all out of my hands. Being a joing owner i though the agenst would have at least expected a signature,
OP posts:
recycledbottle · 05/06/2020 14:20

Oh okay. She wanted a clean break though and wanted you to either buy her out or sell which she is entitled to. Also mortgage companies dont like mortgaging a property where a third party has an interest which is not mortgaged as it causes problems for them when trying to sell. I think it is highly unlikely you would have received a mortgage and your sister probably knew that. If you guys had a better relationship that could have been discussed. You both need to be involved at this point. I can see both points of view so yanbu

schoolsoutforcovid · 05/06/2020 14:22

"8 days after the email i had contacted the banks, taken financial advise, discussed with partner and worked out a rough value of the property and emailed her straight back.

The market price she has agreed with the agent is 20k less than i had originally anticipated and I offered her 30% of the cash based on the value i was given"

Yes but you didn't say you were doing that to her. She's just sat in the dark waiting for you. A more reasonable reply than "ok" would be "give me a week or so to get some financial advice and I'll get back to you".

Also, you've had it valued yourself at a higher figure? How did it come as such a shock to the tenants then?

ButtonMoonLoon · 05/06/2020 14:27

I’d be furious, yes- she should not have engaged estate agents before consulting with you and giving current tenants first refusal on the properly.
You could have saved thousands in commission fees aside from a load of hassle

NewAccountForCorona · 05/06/2020 14:31

Be careful, make sure the estate agent isn't going to sell at a knockdown price to her (or to someone she knows).

I know a situation where an executor put a house on the market after a parent's death, took on a small estate agent, set price very low, the marketing material was bizarre, the house was inexplicably not available for viewings, and eventually it was sold at a price about 25% below what would have been expected. After money was divied out, it turned out the "buyer" was her 18 year old son.

covidco · 05/06/2020 14:33

I would write (pen and paper) to the estate agent, and include a copy of the court order. Make it clear that you and your sister must agree the sale price for the sale to go through, and he therefore must present any offers to you both.

Have you served notice on the tenants? Or are you selling with sitting tenants?

Original poster
Justus77 · 05/06/2020 14:36

The value i deduced was from sold prices and the ceiling price of the property on the road. They do not go on the market very often at all and are in a nice location. I may have to query the sale but im guessing if shes already in a contract with an agent i dont get to change much

OP posts:
Original poster
Justus77 · 05/06/2020 14:37

Have you served notice on the tenants? Or are you selling with sitting tenants? - this hasnt even been discussed, i have drafted and redrafted an email to her. Im just the weak chicken sh** i always was.

OP posts:
recycledbottle · 05/06/2020 14:41

"I may have to query the sale but im guessing if shes already in a contract with an agent i dont get to change much"

Your sister owns half and has no right to sign contracts with an agent on your behalf. I would contact the Agent to let him know. Would you consider getting your own Agent? If your sister is a bully and you have poor communication between you, you might need your own representation.

gingergiraffe · 05/06/2020 14:47

Surely if the house has been undervalued, that is to your advantage if you do decide to buy her out? Or does she intend waiting for the highest offer in a given time period?

SusieOwl4 · 05/06/2020 14:49

As far as I can see you still jointly own the house so although the sale can be forced the rest would still require your signature ? You should be able to get a quick appointment with a solicitor just to check your position won’t take more than 30 minutes surely . Just say you are not objecting to the sale just the valuation. And that you want to get agents in as well so you can get a fair figure? Surely it’s worth a small cost if you get even £10000 more ?

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 05/06/2020 14:53

She discussed it with you and you refused to buy her out or sell the property. You're the one in the wrong here

This. I think YABU. She has just as much right to access what is owed to her as you are. If you wont buy her out or talk to her about it then she had no other option did she?

Original poster
Justus77 · 05/06/2020 15:00

She discussed it with you and you refused to buy her out or sell the property. You're the one in the wrong here - i think thats slightly wrong. i told her i could stretch to buy 30% - its not that i avoided or didnt want a discussion, i responded as quickly as i could. I just expected her to say no sorry, it will have to be sold and then if i had refused (not that i could have) she would have had no choice but to take legal action?

OP posts:
Original poster
Justus77 · 05/06/2020 15:01

I guess i need to find out where i stand legally in terms of being involved in the sale.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 05/06/2020 15:12

I think as this has been through the court the court have permitted forcing the sale, if I was you I’d now just let it happen and make sure it is done correctly and go for the clean break she has requested.

She wants out, she wants a clean break, you were unable to provide that, and you’re unable to force her not to sell, she holds the cards on this one, as would you if the positions were reversed.

I’d think long and hard before I considered making this difficult for all of you. Because ultimately she will win and it will be sold

Bluntness100 · 05/06/2020 15:15

She cannot sign with the estate agents without your signature also.Is this true?

No of course it’s not true, it’s not a sales agreement, it’s just using the services of the agent. I signed for ours even though my husband jointly owns,

She can’t however actually sell it without your signature.

ShebaShimmyShake · 05/06/2020 15:24

Why don't you want to sell?

TryingToBeBold · 05/06/2020 15:24

You haven't commented about whether you have considered a BLT mortgage?

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