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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Be furious with my sister

224 replies

Justus77 · 05/06/2020 10:28

Bit of background, weve never really got on, have felt bullied by her my whole life. Have gone NC over last few years as dealing with her was too much for my mental health.

In 2002 we inherited my aunts house. It was mortgage free and was rented to a lovely family who have been there since then. My sister has now decided that she wants to take the cash. She has offered to sell me her half but as im currently waiting to move into a new build and all the costs associated with that I am not in a position to do this. That was the only contact we had and it was just 4 short emails.

She has then taken the matter to court and the courts have now ordered the property be sold which whilst upsetting given that I cant afford to buy her out is entirely her perogative.The order also states that we both must have conduct of the sale. My sister has appointed an estate agent and has signed off on the terms of the sale.

My question is AIBU to feel really annoyed that she has taken it upon herself to do this with no discussion. The family who live there hadnt yet been informed that we were selling the property and I have no more information?

OP posts:

Starstar7 · 05/06/2020 11:06

Good luck trying to sell the house with tenants in unless someone wants to buy it and continue as their landlord. It's not a proceedable sale until they've been served notice and have vacated.

TooMuchBloodyChoice · 05/06/2020 11:06

Surely before proceeding with the sale you’ll have to notify and work out the position with the tenants or are you selling it with sitting tenants?

If you/she is planning to evict them prior to sale that needs to be dealt with as they do currently have rights, especially during CV19. This may halt the sale.

However it’s up to you to contact the estate agents also and let them know it’s a joint sale. If you leave your sister to do all the work, don’t be surprised that she may do stuff you don’t like.

NotSorry · 05/06/2020 11:07

It sounds as though she is your ‘bitch eating crackers’ whatever she did was going to wind you up

I’d see it in a positive way - another thing that breaks any ties to her

SummerDayWinterEvenings · 05/06/2020 11:09

You need to email her and the agent she has put it on with, to say you are joint owners and the court has ordered that you both have to have conduct of the sale -include this scanned in a document for the agent. As such without full consultation and you agreeing the the T&C of sale etc it won't go ahead.

Ask the agent to consult with you directly about the T&C.

PS you can put a house on sale without the permission of both parties -but you can't sell it without the permission of both parties.

But to be fair, she wants her money and you can't buy her out -she's entitled to sell it. However, I feel there is much more to this. You need to get it moving for everyone.

burnoutbabe · 05/06/2020 11:10

sounds fairly normal, i have just been doing c-ownership disputes in land law.

Yes, you need to give notice to the tennants and its probably easiest to wait for them to be out before selling to get best price.

But you can't really obstruct a sale too much waiting forever. a efw agents should value it though so you know what the rought value is.

Bluntness100 · 05/06/2020 11:11

I also think you’re being unfair, it’s perfectly fine for her to wish to monetise it, it’s not perfectly fine for you to try to block it.

Osirus · 05/06/2020 11:13

Forcing a sale is not a straightforward thing to do (worked in area) and there would have been lots of communication with you before taking it to court, which is an expensive option and does not always go in the favour of the person who wants to sell.

I think you’ve missed out huge chunks of the story here. It sounds like you’ve refused to engage at all.

YABU - the sale benefits you both. Surely the money will come in useful with your new property?

YABU to withhold a possible sale due to your own personal circumstances which are nothing to do with your sister. You’ve had the property nearly 20 years.

Hamm87 · 05/06/2020 11:13

Sorry op but they are out on force this morning its shit she took you to court and won did you not fight it contact the agent yourself and explain all details must also go though you as the court ordered and inform the family asap

PerfectPenquins · 05/06/2020 11:15

You should be involved with the estate agent as ordered by the court so get yourself and your details in there so she doesn't plough on without you. Also speak to the family renting so they have as much time as possible to move.

ScarletFever · 05/06/2020 11:15

so why dont you want to sell?

user1486915549 · 05/06/2020 11:18

We inherited aunts house jointly with brother in law
We get fed of dealing with repairs , agents , finding new short term tenants etc whilst bil just sat back expecting half the rent.
It didn’t need to go to court but we did have to be firm about wanting to sell. Also the rent didn’t reflect the value of the property.
Has your sister been in this Situation with you and you have refused to take her wishes into account ?

HavelockVetinari · 05/06/2020 11:19

YABU, it sounds like court was her last option - it's very unfair of you to refuse to sell to allow he to access her money. Going to court has no doubt cost her money, which she should be able to recoup from the sale before the rest of the proceeds are split.

pilates · 05/06/2020 11:21

Did you ignore her 4 emails? Is that why it went to Court?

You really need to start communicating with your sister to enable the sale to go through.

Phone the Agent and advise all negotiations need to be run through you aswell because you’re co-seller. I presume you’re selling with vacant possession so you need to let your tenants know ASAP.

MadameMeursault · 05/06/2020 11:23

@HavelockVetinari

OP never said she refused to sell! Just that she didn’t want to buy her sister’s half. It’s bizarre to me why the sister went to court.

OP could the family living there buy the house? Save you on estate agent fees.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 05/06/2020 11:23

That was the only contact we had and it was just 4 short emails.

I'm guessing these emails were her asking you to please sell the house?
What were your replies?
She obviously felt there was no other alternative than to take it to court.

Juliet2014 · 05/06/2020 11:24

Your sister has simply been proactive and swift. Fair enough.

Juliet2014 · 05/06/2020 11:24

Fact it went to court meant you really bloody dig your heels in!

acatcalledjohn · 05/06/2020 11:25

The property we bought was being sold by a divorced couple. When we agreed to buy the exH instructed the solicitors without mentioning his exW and it caused additional delays when the solicitor checked out the deeds and found he wasn't the sole owner.

By not including you she is in breach of the court order. Not that it would benefit you to be difficult for no reason, but do get your own valuation to confirm you are happy with the listed price. Also, she cannot accept an offer without your agreement.

In essence, you and your sister need to start communicating.

And please, tell the tenants. Give them as much notice as possible. They sound like they are great tenants.

YinMnBlue · 05/06/2020 11:27

She has a right to want to sell, and you have no right to try and stop that.

I am surprised that you don’t want the capital to put into your new house, and are presumably paying the increased stamp duty as a second property owner.

It is obviously very sad and bad news for the tenants and they need to be treated fairly, but as you are not able to buy your sister out there is not a lot you can do.

But it may be worth a conversation with a finance / mortgage advisor ; look at the Let To Buy scheme (as well as Buy to Let).

Could you not get a mortgage for the value of half the house and pay it with what would then be 100% if the net rental income?

TinySleepThief · 05/06/2020 11:28

. It’s bizarre to me why the sister went to court.

Presumably it went to court because the OP refused to engage in discussions and therefore she left her sister no choice in going via the courts to get the money she was entitled too. People dont just take situations like this to court for no reason. It will have taken months to get that far and cost the sister time and money. If the OP had been willing to engage in discussions that could have been avoided.

Dozer · 05/06/2020 11:29

She was not U to decide to sell.

By agreeing terms with the estate agent she may well be in breach of the court order. You could simply contact the agent to inform them of this and seek additional valuations etc, if you think the price advertised should change.

It’d be best to inform the tenants of the planned sale.

PurpleCrowbarWhereIsLangCleg · 05/06/2020 11:29

Ok, so why didn't you want to sell the house?

Because you hoped to own it outright one day, or because you'd rather continue to have rent than a lump sum?

Either way, it's probably worth investigating a BTL mortgage. If that's not possible (you have bad credit etc) then I'm afraid it's tough. She's got every right to want her half of the value as a lump sum now, & at least if she's so horrible, once it's done you have even less necessity for contact so that's a silver lining, right?

notapizzaeater · 05/06/2020 11:31

Did you tell her no ? Is that why she's pushed it ? Tbh if she wants the money she's entitled to and you can't buy her out what other options are there ?

Fairenuff · 05/06/2020 11:36

YABU it's her right to sell so that she can have her half.

Waveysnail · 05/06/2020 11:40

Your nc. Her going to.court was easiest and simplest way.

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