To Be furious with my sister

[Justus77]

Bit of background, weve never really got on, have felt bullied by her my whole life. Have gone NC over last few years as dealing with her was too much for my mental health.

In 2002 we inherited my aunts house. It was mortgage free and was rented to a lovely family who have been there since then. My sister has now decided that she wants to take the cash. She has offered to sell me her half but as im currently waiting to move into a new build and all the costs associated with that I am not in a position to do this. That was the only contact we had and it was just 4 short emails.

She has then taken the matter to court and the courts have now ordered the property be sold which whilst upsetting given that I cant afford to buy her out is entirely her perogative.The order also states that we both must have conduct of the sale. My sister has appointed an estate agent and has signed off on the terms of the sale.

My question is AIBU to feel really annoyed that she has taken it upon herself to do this with no discussion. The family who live there hadnt yet been informed that we were selling the property and I have no more information?

She can’t however actually sell it without your signature.

Doesn't have to be true. The judge could have signed an order that she can sell without your signature.

*BTL

I don't think the bank of sandwiches offer mortgages

i think thats slightly wrong. i told her i could stretch to buy 30% - its not that i avoided or didnt want a discussion, i responded as quickly as i could. I just expected her to say no sorry, it will have to be sold and then if i had refused (not that i could have) she would have had no choice but to take legal action?

30% is not buying out her half. I agree with you that she took legal action very quickly. I presume that you responded before the court case, how did she react about it?

Why don't you pay a few estate agents to do a valuations for yourself? What evidence have you that the house is worth 20% more. Have you really done the research about that? With so many people losing their jobs I think 20% less than market value last February is about right.
You didn't reply for 8 days to her last email. That's not emailing her straight back. She's not a mind reader.
The two of you need to find a third party to handle your communications or just ring each other. You are both playing the little girl games. Find the adult part of yourself and ring her up or get the solicitor who is handing the sale to make a few calls to her.
Sell the thing and be done.

What she's done is complete legal.

If I were you I'd check the selling price etc. Get your own estate agent to value it and don't agree to any sale unless you're happy with the price. The last thing you need is her selling it to a friend at a cut down price. Check the financials first. A sale can be agreed but it can't go through without your signature. Find out which solicitors she's using too and introduce yourself

You know, i dont know what im thinking.

I guess initally i just felt somewhat taken back in time, but although its really sad to be selling the house I cant afford to keep it. I was refused a BTL mortgage as theres too many financial things going on and my credit is all over the place. I guess 6 months down the line it might have been a different story.

I feel attached to the house especially in light of the sentiment it was gifted to us but thats not her problem, and realistically i couldnt have kept it forever.

I dont think i really have a choice but to suck it up, my partner has suggested i speak to the tennants and ask if they would like to buy out my sister... I guess theres lots of things I could do.

That's a dreadful suggestion by your partner

Can you imagine the situation you'd end up in? They pay half of their rent to you and you both own 50% but are relative strangers. What happens with the agency who let it out now? Doubt they'll want to pay half for an agency to vet and monitor themselves!

Just stop dithering and send a different agent round to value it for you. Don't mention your issues and they can go in impartial.

Zoopla is notoriously inaccurate and basing your valuations on best guesses and the internet isn't really how it works.

@Justus77
The value i deduced was from sold prices and the ceiling price of the property on the road. They do not go on the market very often at all and are in a nice location. I may have to query the sale but im guessing if shes already in a contract with an agent i dont get to change much

I say this with true kindness: grow a spine. You don't have to just go along constantly with no say in what happens. Get a solicitor and have him or her speak to the estate agent to insure you're all on the same page. Your sister is steamrolling you again. Make sure your interests are equally represented or you're going to have to do another year in therapy beating yourself up about how you let her bully you again. Good luck.

And it sounds like you have a lot of debt and are just guessing that you'd get a mortgage on it. I'd let it go tbh

It really does come across as you being the one being difficult here.

If you'd been reasonable then there would have been no need for her to enforce a sale through the Courts.

Yes, you are entitled to contact the agents and inform them that the sale must go through the two of you. I think you are being unreasonable to be annoyed she's taken the action she has - it sounds like she had no choice.

I agree with gingergiraffe. Doesn't the lower valuation work in your favour (your 30% offer now goes further)? Eg: If you valued the house at £120,000 - the 30% offer was £48k. She's had the house valued at £100k - so 50% is only 2k more than you offered originally. At £250/£230k the difference between 30% at your valuation and 50% at hers is £15k.

I appreciate the difference in the numbers grows as the house price increases, but can you not stretch to buy her out through a BTL mortgage??

Seems a strange situation you're in. I suspect that either she's not done the maths or there is something missing in the narrative......whichever it is, hope you can sort it out.

i speak to the tennants and ask if they would like to buy out my sister

I’d really not go there if I was you. I get you don’t get on with your sister, but I’d not be joint owning with the tenants that’s so risky,

my partner has suggested i speak to the tennants and ask if they would like to buy out my sister

Terrible idea. Sell, take the money and enjoy the clean break from your sister. You don't seem to have any real reason to want to keep it and the whole thing seems to come from the way its made you relive the past. Money and a clean break.

OP, you need to meet your sister half way and talk about the price, the timescale, who negotiates any offers if they are below asking price etc etc.

When you offered your sister a 20% share you could have said 'and I understand that may not be of interest to you, so if not, let me know and we can discuss how to get the sale underway'.

But you are sitting still, not being pro-active, and then being unhappy at whatever your sister does.

I know it's hard, and its bad timing, but take your half of the control, engage with the process, get your money, and you might feel less hard done by because you have actually taken part.

And don't do any silly deals like becoming half owners with the tenants.

Sell the house (if you can do neither LTB or BTL) and think very carefully about using the money sensibly to invest in your life - paying off your current mortgage, or whatever. You will be needing to manage without the rental income, so think about your budget, and whether you can use the money to lower your monthly mortgage payments.

Also - remember you will have capital gains tax to apy.

And have a look at the regs about the costs of buying if you own more than one property - I believe you can claim the extra back if one is on the market and is sold within a year, or something.

Be smart, be active, make this work for you.

* I dont think i really have a choice but to suck it up, my partner has suggested i speak to the tennants and ask if they would like to buy out my sister... I guess theres lots of things I could do*

Good grief that is a bad idea on so many levels I don’t know where to start. Ignore your partner.

Accept situation. Take the money and sort out your poor financial credit. Move on.

my partner has suggested i speak to the tennants and ask if they would like to buy out my sister this is a terrible, terrible idea.

So, you'd own a house with people you dont know at all? yeah, not a good idea at all. What if theyre in debt? what if their credit rating is terrible? what if they default on mortgage payments and their credit is forever connected with yours? and you end up liable for their share? what if they then decide to sell?

Just accept you ran out of time to own the house by yourself, and see thek me Ney you get as a way to have a better life.

She was never going to accept your offer to buy 30%, and the tenants idea is also silly. Unrealistic.

What were the terms of the court judgment as regards the sale? Refer to those, and raise it with the agent if she’s in breach.

Also check the legal status of the tenants, as you and she have responsibilities to treat them legally.

What happened between the week after when you offered 30% and the court case? Did you talk to her? Offer the 30%? What did the judge say when you asked for more time? Theres a lot of info missing.

First things first, get a couple of new valuations. Though, a house that has been rented for 18 years, and previously belonged to an elderly aunt, is unlikely to be in the condition to command the ceiling price of the road/area.

Actually that’s a bit of a sad thing to say! The tenants have looked after it very well. The kitchen was replaced three years ago and painted/ decorated regularly. They are model tenants. If anything I think it hits the ceiling of any value on the little close it’s in.

I’m drafting an email to my sister just saying can we review price and terms of agent etc

But it’s been written and rewritten so many times.

Yes. Thinking about what everyone has said about the tenants buying out half - that’s a daft idea. Thank you.

Will send email tomorrow when it’s 100% Prosecco influence free.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to post

She never suggested selling only a portion of her share so I think your offering to buy 30% of her 50% and not suggesting another plan in the high likelihood that this was not going to work may have led her to believe you were going to be difficult. I think she probably genuinely felt that she had no choice but to go through court.

Unless you refused to sell I would be annoyed she felt she had to go to court.

Think you are being unreasonable.

She has a right to the money and if you refused to buy(whatever reason), then it was obvious only option was to sell. Reading between the lines, I assume this had been made clear and you didn’t push it through, so she has gone to court to make it legally binding.

As soon as the court order is in place you both should have attempted to discuss. Fee’s are generally not much different across the board, so what are you losing exactly? Other than time and effort to find one.

Also reading between lines, it sounds like she needs money for something quickly(have you asked?) and you time wasting could actually be forcing her hand to take control.

She is entitled to her half.

You cannot afford to buy her out.
The property will therefore be sold (sadly she had to take you to court to do this so wasted money but indicates that you weren't reasonable in understanding that she needed her share)....

I'm with her on this one.