To Be furious with my sister

[Justus77]

Bit of background, weve never really got on, have felt bullied by her my whole life. Have gone NC over last few years as dealing with her was too much for my mental health.

In 2002 we inherited my aunts house. It was mortgage free and was rented to a lovely family who have been there since then. My sister has now decided that she wants to take the cash. She has offered to sell me her half but as im currently waiting to move into a new build and all the costs associated with that I am not in a position to do this. That was the only contact we had and it was just 4 short emails.

She has then taken the matter to court and the courts have now ordered the property be sold which whilst upsetting given that I cant afford to buy her out is entirely her perogative.The order also states that we both must have conduct of the sale. My sister has appointed an estate agent and has signed off on the terms of the sale.

My question is AIBU to feel really annoyed that she has taken it upon herself to do this with no discussion. The family who live there hadnt yet been informed that we were selling the property and I have no more information?

Just reread my message .. *your

Hi, just an update. It got very messy. My BIL sought out my DH and called him everything under the sun, saying things like justus was never like this, you are a money grabber etc etc, DH had the kids with him and was queuing at Sainsbury’s! My DH told him that he wasn’t in the business of interfering in my business and will continue to support me in any decision I make.

Brother in law then rants on and on about how much my sister has done for me and how ungrateful I am. My DH told him to step back and refused to engage him which gave BiL the rage, he grabbed him by the shoulder and got into his face and threatened to kick the Sh** out of him and DH pushed him and told him to get lost as he was scaring the kids. The security guard walked BIL from the queue back up to the car park. We thought that was the end of it.

No chance. 8pm in the garden and get a knock on door. Police. BIL filed a complaint that DH assaulted him. DH was arrested and taken to the station. 4 hours later he’s released without charge after they’ve confirmed events with guard at Sainsbury’s and CCTV. DH advises to take out a non molestation order and pursue the threatening behaviour and assault on him.

Everything was quiet, deadline for the cash buyer approached and I advised EA that no sale was possible as the property was now under dispute and part of proceedings. Any attempt to continue to sell it would be an offence and that he should remove the house from sale and discontinue any further marketing. (Scripted to me by solicitor)

My sister then decides that she is going to pay me a visit. At work. She told me her DH was spoken to when the police came around past mindnight on the day of the incident to inform BiL that they would not be taking further action against my DH and issued him with some harassment slip... apparently by BiL got Leary and ended up taking a swing at the police officer and was arrested.

He spend the weekend in a cell. He is being charged and we have had the police around to take statements of the incident in Sainsbury’s.

After all that it transpired that my sister was arranging to sell the house to her dh brother and wife. They have recently moved into the country and wer le obviously hoping for a bargain buy. Which no doubt my sister would have been applauded for securing within the BiL family.

I’ve left it all to my solicitor now. The buy to let is in place and I will hopefully through the court action take full responsibility for discharging her fairly from ownership of the house. But now it’s a waiting game as the courts are back logged. BIL is also awaiting a court date.

(And our new home will be ready at the beginning of September with the kitchen being fitted in first week of august)

tenants have been told what has been going on and I hope to give them positive news soon. I wouldn’t want to lose them as tenants.

Blimey!

Your sneaky sister!

Her DH sounds awful. How was she when she turned up at your work? Aggressive, or trying to be nice to get witness statement against her violent DH toned down?

Maybe her DH was pressuring her to sell it cheap to his brother?

No advice but crikey that's a mess I hope you get it resolved soon

Bil sounds like a dick

Wow! Her husband sounds a piece of work!

Yes how was she when she came round (without him)? I wonder if he creates her nastiness or whether they’re just a well marched pair!

She was very much like, this is what your w**er of a DH has gone and done blah blah. I had to leave a MS teams meeting with external people so I just said - if that’s all you have to say I suggest you leave before I have to call security. And don’t come to me like this again, you left me on my own and to you that’s what I am - on my own. Then I said you prefer to deal with solicitors anyway so let’s stick to that as it’s a very sensible solution. She then told me I was selfish, that my DH was only with me for my money, that she knew how much my ex h had settled with me in the divorce for and how no one in our family believed anything i had said about what he did and that’s just what I do use people and throw them away. She then went on about what a decent guy my ex was. I still there and let her say everything she wanted then when she said so do you have nothing to say? And I said - well I have plenty to say but I will pick the appropriate time and place for me, so now if you don’t leave I will get you moved. Then she tried to tell me we were still blood and that we needed to say that things were misconstrued when BIL “bumped into” Dh but by this time I was half way down the corridor.

And I was still shaking 2 hours later!

Bless you that's terrible! What an awful run of events.

However, it's as clear as day now- it was always her being not just unreasonable but actually dishonest and fraudulent (?).

Thank goodness you stuck up for yourself and your tenants!

Well done.

Crikey! So they’re a well matched pair of thugs then. At least you’ll soon have everything separated off from her and never need to see her again. I hope they throw the book at her husband. Hope you’re ok now. All that would’ve shaken me up too!

Whaaaaat. What a witch. On so many acvounts. I don't know where to start. I hope your sollicitor is a good one.

There is still lots she can do and it might cost a fortune in legal fees but my solicitor is of the stance that from the very first hearing we attach a cost order. So she can take it as far as she wants but our right to claw that money back will be there.

I was really shocked that she still meets and sees my ex, and for anyone thinking she must have grounds for what she said about my DH - he sold his own flat in a trendy part of London to our for over half the house we live in now. I put the rest in to make up a 75% deposit and we now split everything fairly down the middle. He is a director of a global it firm and has been at the same place for close on 22 years. He is by now means meek or stupid, he just doesn’t feel comfortable interfering in those members of my family that he knows nothing about. He is a good man who supports us all, he pays to keep his mum In her own house as she is adamant that she doesn’t want to leave and is a brilliant dad.

Oh my word! Kudos to your husband for keeping his cool in the face of so much provocation. I hope it works out for you and your lovely tenants.
FWIW, it sounds like there is a degree of jealousy there - you have it all sorted - top of the range husband, good job, new house & kitchen - it must be eating her up. Carry on carrying on - no one needs a sister like that in their lives! Leave her to it.

De-lurking to say well done OP. You sound like you have a fantastic solicitor and an awesome hubby. Your tenants are also lucky to have you Not long now until you've got her out of your life for good

I suspected from day 1 it was being sold to someone she somehow knew and I suspected she was getting a backhander for it!!!

OMG please get your DH to press charges/get the non-harassment order because they have shown their true colours and this is unlikely to be the end of it.

Bloody hell. Why are some people so entitled when it comes to money.

It seems pretty obvious now that she wanted the house for someone, but she blindsided me completely. Tenants aside, if she had been fair in would have just sold it to her or bought her share rather than go through all of this unnecessary stress.

I don’t think she is jealous, she’s always worked hard and has a nice place and always dresses really well. Plus we haven’t told anyone about the house that she would have heard from and tone honest we were debating whether to pull out or not post lockdown.

I know she can speak to whoever she likes but it stung that the man who caused me a pure living hell, constant beatings, threats of suicide if I told anyone - the control (money and where I could and couldn’t go and much much more than, she is still in touch with.

She has shown you who she really is, someone not on your side I just don't understand why she is in touch with your ex, saying you made it up??? Really cruel.

She knew it wasn’t lies, I think that’s the thing that hurts me the most. She was the one who let me out of the house on one occasion when he beat me up and locked me in. She took me to A and E.

How vile of her

Sadly people convince themselves of all sorts of stuff when they have an underlying motive. For whatever reason, she wanted this house/money for her husband's family. She's rewritten history to let her do it.

Sort this out then cut her off.

wow! well at least you know the truth behind her wanting to sell the house, and you have the full measure of her and her awful DH.
It will be great when the house is sold, everything finalised and you don't have to have anything to do with her again.
She may well be jealous of you - not money, but your DH sounds wonderful and hers is obviously a bit of a knob.

Omg I am so sorry you are related to such a shitty person! You sound like a lovely person and don't deserve any of this. No idea about the law but it feels like it must be fraudulent for her to try to sell below market value and then accept even lower offer, while trying to bully u into selling and cutting u out of the selling process...