To Be furious with my sister

[Justus77]

Bit of background, weve never really got on, have felt bullied by her my whole life. Have gone NC over last few years as dealing with her was too much for my mental health.

In 2002 we inherited my aunts house. It was mortgage free and was rented to a lovely family who have been there since then. My sister has now decided that she wants to take the cash. She has offered to sell me her half but as im currently waiting to move into a new build and all the costs associated with that I am not in a position to do this. That was the only contact we had and it was just 4 short emails.

She has then taken the matter to court and the courts have now ordered the property be sold which whilst upsetting given that I cant afford to buy her out is entirely her perogative.The order also states that we both must have conduct of the sale. My sister has appointed an estate agent and has signed off on the terms of the sale.

My question is AIBU to feel really annoyed that she has taken it upon herself to do this with no discussion. The family who live there hadnt yet been informed that we were selling the property and I have no more information?

Hard to define this one. What seems to come across as abruptness on her end (going to court and disregarding your input) certainly makes her unreasonable. The fact that she wants to sell is not unreasonable, it’s just the aggressive way she went over you.

Or you could look at it as you were given half a house for free and have had 18 years to profit from it. Now you are going to sell it and get a pile of free cash. You are really lucky.

I would not get into shared ownership with tenants. It's too complicated. What if you wanted to sell at some point and they don't. You don't know what the future holds, just sell it and take your 50%

Justus77 That response to me has made me speechless, that is absolutely horrendous treatment from a sibling. If I had been asked for help by sibling or friend alike. I would have been sat at the end of the drive, door open, car running, helping to throw anything in that could be carried. My heart goes out to you. I am not surprised you don't want to get into an email ping pong. For your sake keep them polite to the point and statements you could always just send daily updates advising no need to respond. I have fingers crossed your FA can find a way for you to keep the house as you say it has come at the wrong time for you but this may able to be taken into account, good FAs can usually find a way. Keep posting and I am hoping you will reach the point where she can pop in your head and you don't feel anything not even sorry for her. As she is not worth an ounce of your emotions x Get up every morning and say. I am a good person and I can do this, until it is all sorted. Good Luck x

Endoftether2000
What a great post.
Absolutely spot on re helping a friend or sibling escaping an abusive partner.
Justus77 How could your sibling not help!!!!!
I can see why you are so wary of any contact with her and why she didn't give a sh*t about the impact of selling on your great tenants. Get good legal advice. Don't be penny wise and pound foolish.
I hope you get the most benefit from the whole scenario.

Thank you Endoftether, that’s truly a lovely post. My paperwork is all in order so I’ll see what the FA says. Although having googled it given that there is a 20 week contract with the agent and the terms also cite conditions on sale during that time outside of the agency they will still want their fee. Not sure how it will work if because it’s just me there will be a get out but planning for the worst and hoping for the best!

OP - could you update us regarding the son of the tenants seeking a mortgage? It would be a good outcome if the tenants get to remain in the property AND you get your half. With no EA fees you could drop the price a bit; I realise your sister may not agree but it would save a lot of hassle

I wouldn’t be able to drop any EA fees which was what my original post was about - my sister has entered into a 20 week contract with the agents, after that she would need to agree an agent or agree to do a direct sell.

It’s only she that has signed and agreed the terms of sale

@Justus77. After the 20 week period is up, you could negotiate with the tenants directly. If I were in your position I would be emailing all the local EAs and advising them that the property is jointly owned and that if they are approached by your sister, you as joint owner have to agree to any contract to market the property. Things are not moving at the moment so you might get this chance, I wish you well

Hi again Justus77 Thank you x I have read your post again and your court order states that you must both conduct the sale. I am guessing that your sister is already in breach of this order. This is by appointing EA's without your knowledge or agreement. The EA's are also at fault if they have entered into this contract unlawfully as I am guessing one of the EA's questions should be do you have the right to sell this property. I am guessing therefore that the contract would be considered null and void. Tell your FA everything if they are good they will know stuff and assist in directing you to people that do know stuff if they don't. I am with Lady Eloise on this. Remember what I have said new mantra I am a good person. I can do this!👍👍👍👍👍keep posting. I really do have everything crossed for you x

Is her sole signature on the agreement with the EA valid if you are joint owners and additionally there is a court order stating that you must both be involved int the sale?

This is precisely why you should get legal advice, not rely on the advice here, your partner, sisters' solicitor etc.
If the EA only just appointed, what happened between the court judgement in November and now? Well, covid, but there was plenty of time to move ahead between November and March.

If you genuinely believe that the property is on the market for £20k less than it's worth, that gives you an idea of how much it's worth investing in legal fees.

You need to make the EAs aware of your interest in the property so that your sister doesn't accept a lower offer without consulting you - but if you get legal advice first, you'll have a good understanding of whether it's saying "i'm a co-owner" or "the contract with my sister isn't valid" - or having your solicitor do that on your behalf.

That’s really good advice thank you everydayisaduvetday. It’s really strange but today has been the first time I’ve actually told my DH everything that happen with my family. I feel a bit floaty, but also a bit vulnerable l. I’ve never really talked so openly before and posting this has made me realise that I can talk about it.

I will speak to my FA, and I hope that the EA shouldn’t have just taken instruction from my sister. He was aware of the court order as when he emailed me to ask for my ID he referred to the courts appointing him as the agent. But what the order doesn’t say is that there can’t be any other agents. It just said to be appointed as by order of agreed consent. My DH pointed that out just now so surely a well established EA would be acting unethically (illegally)? By putting forward a contract that cites him as the sole agent for 20 weeks (that seems so long?) with an agreed sale price (that I had no input in but actually now works in my favour).

theres a court order saying you should be involved so the contract with ea is null and void she wasnt allowed to do that

phone the agents and tell them this-then discuss mayb e a higher price on the house

The estate agent has left a voice mail and it appears that we have an offer 8k less than the asking price. The EA showed 3 people round at the weekend and is arranging block viewings.

Can you raise 4k less than half the asking price? If the house is undervalued that might be to your advantage.

Im gonna send the following email:

Id like to buy your share of the house. I will offer the amount you had requested.

We can instruct XXXX (the family solicitor) to deal with the sale. The contract with the EA is null and void as I was not made aware of the t&cs of the sales agreement.

Please email me back and I will set the wheels in motion.

What do people think? Im going to buy it no matter how I do it, by hook or by crook - I discussed it with a work colleague who has done something similar and he advised that the process for sale is straight forward as I already have substantial equity which mitigates the risk for the mortgage provider and also that the rental value adequately covers the monthly payments but then I can also fall back on my earnings as fall back.

Leave out the bit about the estate agent, that's irrelevant, it's her problem.

You may have to agree to go halves on anything they think they can charge, but that will be small beer compared to the rest and if you can keep her/them on side they might withdraw it now and avoid the possibility of getting a really high offer that she might want you to match.

As the pp said, leave the bit out about the estate agent. That's her problem not yours.

Other than that it sounds fine.

Hi justus77 as above posts supporting you all the way 👍👍👍👍👍 Good luck x

Do not use the same solicitor as your sister - you need impartial advice and you won't get it using "family solicitor".
Meanwhile keep tenants in the loop especially the son who is seeking mortgage, it would be unfair to raise their hopes of buying

So have you managed to raise the money to buy her out? As cash or mortgage?

I’ve lost track of what’s happening.

My mortgage for a buy to let is currently being processed and could take up to 5 weeks to be processed. In the mean time the EA has written that a cash offer has been received of 12k less than the offer price from a cash buyer. The cash buyer would like confirmation by the end of the week (tomorrow).

I wrote back to say I was paying my sister the full amount she requested for her half and has been agreed a mortgage in Principal.

I then got a letter from her solicitor advising that her client would not be in a position to wait for the outcome of the application which could take weeks and still be refused. She wrote that I had been given opportunity to purchase her clients share and had declined. She then goes on to say that they are putting in an application to enforce the sale due to the risk of potentially losing the cash buyer and that my concerns about the contract with the ea was mine to discuss with the agent and that her client had signed a document from the court ordered EA and signed it in good faith.

I now have had to arrange an appointment with a solicitor which I will do tomorrow. The free half hour slots are very hard to secure when you are short of time!

So really - bad to worse.

Sounds like you’ve left things a bit too late op. I wouldn’t be surprised if your sister goes ahead with the sale - I know I would just because it makes no difference to her who buys it and a cash buyer sounds more like a done deal than waiting for you to sort your finances out. I hope for your sake that doesn’t happen of course.

I just assumed that I would at least have a say. She’s selling the house 12k less than the already reduced market value. I’m not happy with that. I’m not happy at being bullied in this way.