To Be furious with my sister

[Justus77]

Bit of background, weve never really got on, have felt bullied by her my whole life. Have gone NC over last few years as dealing with her was too much for my mental health.

In 2002 we inherited my aunts house. It was mortgage free and was rented to a lovely family who have been there since then. My sister has now decided that she wants to take the cash. She has offered to sell me her half but as im currently waiting to move into a new build and all the costs associated with that I am not in a position to do this. That was the only contact we had and it was just 4 short emails.

She has then taken the matter to court and the courts have now ordered the property be sold which whilst upsetting given that I cant afford to buy her out is entirely her perogative.The order also states that we both must have conduct of the sale. My sister has appointed an estate agent and has signed off on the terms of the sale.

My question is AIBU to feel really annoyed that she has taken it upon herself to do this with no discussion. The family who live there hadnt yet been informed that we were selling the property and I have no more information?

I actually think what she's done is fair. If she wants the money and has sat on it for 18 years why should she go along with what you want? You can't buy her out - it's fair to push this through the courts

YABBU.

Stop being so petty, inform the family living there, sell it, move on.

I do think others are being too harsh on you though: unless you've been bullied by family you really don't understand.

Like I say OP. Just get it done and move on.

@Celestine70

Have you read the thread? The OP refused to sell.
Why else would the sister have gone to court and the the court ordered the property be sold?!

Just reread it you inherited it in 2002 ! Something tells me this has been raised before 2020. Even if as you say it was brought up in November -it's now June!

To be honest I wouldn’t want to be left with a 20% share in a house either. Not enough power to ensure I can realise my 20% if I need to. You’d have the leading share.

I’d want a clean break too.

I am very confused if you were both left the house then surely if it was sold then the proceeds would be split 50/50 between you both so why do you have to buy her out?

@mussymummy

If she wants to keep the house she means.

[quote Rachie1973]@mussymummy

If she wants to keep the house she means.[/quote]
Thanku x

I’m not sure there is much you can do about it now re. selling it, sounds like you had a lot of time to make proposals and none were made, she issued proceedings and sounds like you did not object or propose other solutions to the court. There’s a court order to sell it. Look at the terms, which presumably you agreed to or are aware of? She may have railroaded you and given your history this might be difficult to deal with, but if you had opportunities to stop it / stand up to her / make proposals about what to do with the property and you didn’t take them, then there is little you can do now but deal with the current situation.
The issue now is how much it is sold for, and details of the sale. If you think it is being sold at an undervalue, ask her for copies of the valuations so you can see if it really is (and then object if it is). If you don’t like the agent, ask how they were chosen and see if you can get someone else involved. If you want involvement in the viewings, get involved. If you want the tenant to buy you both out, see if they can afford what the asking price is. If you don’t feel you can do it yourself and question her due to your history, get a lawyer to act on your behalf. I do dispute resolution and contentious probate and often get involved in sibling disputes over inherited properties, so there are solicitors who are able to help and stand up for you if you need them. Otherwise you need to do it yourself.
You will both have to sign the sale contract and land registry documents, as you are co-owners. If you are going to object to anything, do it sooner rather than later as once a sale is agreed and contracts sent out to sign, new buyers will have spent money on surveys etc.

Don’t ask her if you CAN review the price, that is just going to prompt her to say no.
Instead explain that you feel it needs reviewing, and you’ll be contacting the agent yourself to talk about the price. Then, if they still come up with the same price, you’ll be getting some more valuations, as you believe it’s on for quite a low price for the area.
YWBU taking so long to reply, but she IBU to just stick it on the market with a price you aren’t happy with, without discussing it with you.
You need to communicate by text as it’s faster, but maybe continue summarising via email, so you have better copies should anything sour.

I’d want it sold too, surely that suits you better? You won’t need to be in touch with her and you’ll have the cash to move into your new build. Win, win, surely?

The fact that you have financial problems and thought your husbands suggestion was reasonable until someone from MN told you otherwise, shows you why she wants to end her financial relationship with you. You sound really naive - it is in her best interests to take the money and honour your aunt’s memory in another way.

Are you sure the rental won’t cover your mortgage.
Come hell or high water I’d hang on to the property even if it meant having to go without a few things for your new home. Best thing I ever did was keep my mums place!

Nothing would have gone any further with the courts if you had said “ok, let’s sell”

If you still want to retain it, there is no reason you can’t pay her market value and buy it yourself. The reason she went to court is she wants market value and why shouldn’t she.

She appointed and estate agent because so far all you’ve done is stall.

You can always change the agent. Why not talk to the agent and query the price and explain you are a joint owner. It might be an ok agent or else you need to discuss firing him or her with your sister. The contract can always be canceled.

Justus77
I would take a deep breath.
I would get a reputable estate agent to go round the property.
Then I would contact the tenants with the valuation and ask if they wish to purchase the property.
I would then mail my sister and advise it was nice of her to sort, But I have had it valued and the Estate agent has valued it at X. Hopefully more than the original valuation.
I would then go from there. With the response from the Tenant. I. E.
Tenant is going to buy it.
Tenant does not want to buy it
So as I have obtained a better valuation I want it sold with them.
When we sold our last house (we are UK) our estate agents upsold. The fees were alot more than purple bricks. Don't let her bombard you into losing money on something your Aunt obviously wanted you to benefit from. Be Strong good luck x
And drink prosecco if required for support🤣👍

OP - get a buy to let mortgage and pay for it with the rent. If the rent won't cover it you will have to sell. The tenant needs plenty of notice after all these years. Any chance the tenants want to buy it?
Sister is entitled to her money - maybe not a convenient time for you - but she obviously needs her half - get a mortgage to buy her out at market value or it will be sold

Ok so - just to address some ?

I my view the way her email was written was more a tentative - we should sell or you can buy me out. I didn’t hear anything so I just held fire. I got a notice of hearing for March 9th. I was a bit taken aback but thought ok, so we are just going to sell - ok.

This was then adjourned to 23rd May and was a remote hearing. The judge just went through the application and asked if I objected to the sale or the agent - I didn’t so I said no.
When we had the hearing the notice attached just said something like my sister to be responsible as the sole seller or something like that and the judge said no, an agent will be selected, she named a company that I know of So couldn’t see any reason to say no. So the order states that we should both have conduct of the sale and x agent will market it.

I was sad but fine.

My financial situation isn’t that I cant get a buy to let it’s more that we are building our own new home, we sold our family home before covid and are renting but the new house is being delayed and delayed - we don’t know what the situation is going to be in reference to the new mortgage depending on when the house will be ready. Work has started again and we just see.m to be constantly paying out for things al the time which is pretty scary. Which is why our finances are all up in the air. On top of that we have had to move my husbands mum to a nursing home as she took a fall in October and it was too difficult to ensure she was safe in her own home. So unexpected costs and uncertainty all round it was supposed to be a temporary move with care providers coming to her at home but that became more of a risk factor with covid. But this is all temporary.

Back to the house, the agent emailed to ask for a copy of my passport and proof of address which I gave and reminded him that I needed to be kept in the loop. Got nothing, now I’ve had to push and it appears that despite us both supposed to be involved in The conduct of the sale she has signed a 20 week sole agent contract at a price that I have pretty much confirmed is low but due to uncertainty in the market is difficult to ascertain.

I agree with the poster that said trying to keep it will be the way to go. I’m exploring options and have an appointment to speak to my FA properly on Tuesday.

Btw, i did speak to the tenants and they were understandably upset. Her son has appointments to see if he can secure a mortgage but again it’s the whole covid situation slowing things down and making mortgage approvals more difficult.

And is strange as it might sound - it does to me now reading some of the posts, in the time we have had the house we have never really had any issues at all. The chap who manages the money side of things keeps good tabs and only asked for some input which was one quarters profit to go back into the house in 2017 as the boiler needed to be replaced which because it was in the kitchen would need to be rehoused in a different unit so the kitchen was updated. The tenants actually chose the units and my sister was happy with this just as I was. They’ve been hassle free. The tenants have looked after the property and tend to do a lot of the small maintenance work themselves occasionally passing on receipts for essential things.

@Justus77 I certainly think it would be worth speaking to the tenants about shared ownership between you.

Although long term if you wanted your share it could be a nightmare I guess...

@Endoftether2000 - thanks I think that would be a good round off email. I don’t want to get too involved in email ping pong with her, my Experience of her throughout my life hasn’t been great. She now seems to think I have endless pots of money after survivBig an abusive marriage and being shamed for leaving my ex husband. He put me in hospital more times than I can even now remember and the last time I begged her to help me get out before he came back and she told me that I was on my own. Which I had been until I met my husband. I invited her to my wedding and she responded with a congrats card and 10 pound. There’s a lot more but I do get a hammering heart and the upset and sick feeling each time she pops into my head. Keeping the house and it plodding away was safe as there was no contact but I guess one way or the other this will be the final huddle and I will be free.

If you could afford to pay her 30% for her share, why can't you finance the other 20%? Surely the rent collected would cover your mortgage payments, property taxes, and the management fees?

I would not sign off on the price, if you believe it is below fair market value, and tell the agent that.

I could have made up to 30% by borrowing from other “pots”. I will try and keep it, it’s a sound investment. I just really lack confidence and really need security and I guess any change is something I find difficult.

Bottom line, it’s me not her.

Now that you know the bottom price she's willing to accept, you can offer her 50% of that.