Partner took the 3 month mortgage holiday...and didn’t tell me

[TonightYoureAStar]

HI so today my bank kindly sent me a text message asking if I was happy with the mortgage holiday I had...but I wasn’t aware that I was having one, went home and asked my partner, who usually pays the monthly repayments as I’m working part-time looking after the 2 boys aged 5 and 7 - but we have a joint mortgage as I paid half the deposit (£80k) and he confessed that he had done this 2 months ago, but hadn’t told me ???!!!! He is still working, hasn’t been furloughed but has had to take a 10% pay cut, which he had told me about so of course I’ve been worried about money during this period and been v.frugal - however yesterday I asked if he could get a cycling helmet for the boys and he told me to get it, as money was tight....so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable to be absolutely f£&king fuming now that I know he’s been saving £1,200 a month without telling me????

Did you not see the £1,200 remaining in your account each month?

I’d be seriously cross.

So what is he going with the £3600 he'll be saving? Presumably he's not on such a high wage that this equates to 10% of his wage?

Do you generally feel that the way you work out your finances is fair?

I too would be furious both with your dh for making such an important decision without consulting you and also the bank for not checking that it was a joint decision.

What's he doing with the money?
It will have to be repaid so I don't see why your dh did this if he still has most of his wage.

What’s he done with the money?

Are you sending money to his personal account each month?

Have u asked him? Maybe he forgot or didn't know it had gone through. I didn't get a confirmation until weeks after applying.

This is the height of disrespect if you ask me. He should have consulted you first.
What’s happened to the money? And why can’t you buy your son a new helmet without his say so?

What has he done/will be do with the money?

My ex (still joint on mortgage) took one without me knowing. He hasn't been furloughed and is working from home in full pay. I've told him half that saving is mine but not seen it yet.... I lost my evening job in April so it would come in handy.

However as it's a joint mortgage I can phone the bank and cancel it. I won't but it's so sneaky I'm not surprised you're angry...

So how much was the 10% cut money wise a month? And what has he done with the rest? Paid off cards?

but we have a joint mortgage as I paid half the deposit (£80k)

Putting in half the deposit doesn't mean you have a joint mortgage. Did you meet the mortgage advisor/sign paperwork etc? Are you both on the deeds?

I don’t know what he’s done with the money but he is a tight arse has probably saved it - he puts £500 in the joint account each month and that hasn’t changed

YANBU. He's not keeping the mortgage money is he?

So what has he done with the money saved, or did it add up to the money he lost?

OP, it sounds like he's financially abusive.

You need access to the savings too.

Yes he was...until I found out, now I’ve made him give me an extra £750

Why don't you check all the bank accounts?

He does realise that the bank will probably charge interest on your mortgage holiday that will wipe out any point of saving it?

Is he in debt?

Also consider that you aren’t really saving it. Yes, three months without the mortgage is fab, but repayments go up when it ends as the mortgage length does not tend to be extended and you will continue to pay interest on it.

It was foolish to do if he could pay it because it will become harder to pay the increased monthly pAyments on 10% less pay.

We took a mortgage holiday when I was on maternity and it helped enormously and we could afford the increased payments when I returned to work. I actually can’t recall if my husband had to give his approval even though I arranged it.

10% is not a massive amount of his wages, plus he’s working at home so not paying his rail card, lunch, after work drinks...he has definitely been quids in and I had no idea, what should I do, I hate him right now

I'd be worried about what he is planning to do with that money behind your back. Very dishonest and suspicious, who rips off their own wife?

I'd say you should start taking a closer look at all of your finances. I personally couldn't bare the lack of control over such an important thing in my life but that's just me.

Give you £750?

You don't have a joint account?

It’s a joint mortgage. How did the payment holiday happen without the consent of both debtors?

I have no access to his accounts, he keeps his money separate