Im a divorcee now remarried with a joint account. Whilst marriage gives you certain things you can fight over in court how many people actually take things through the courts?
I didn't. I managed my separation by slow negotiation. Negotiation and renegotiation continues 13 years on.
If you have DC together the chance are you will need to be able to be civil to each other for the remainder of your lives.
This is your starting point.
Every child's birthday, Christmas, Easter, School play/ parents evening/ sports day awards ceremony, marriage, birth of grandchildren. You don't want each one to be a battleground for your DC
What any of us needs to do is look at our own circumstances and reflect on what works, what doesn't and what steps need to be put in place to get to a better place.
What do you want for your future? To separate or just redefine the boundaries of the relationship?
Full time DC carer or shared care I.e. he actually does 50% including sorting childminders and pickups on his days. Do you want to have your career back - is it feasible you can move towards that at present?
Do you want a fairer balance of monies into the household?
All these things are specific to you. For you to write down and work through what your list of priorities is. He's unlikely to roll over and just give i to everything you want so prioritise and work from the bottom of the list on negotiation with less flexibility on maybe your top three priorities.