Partner took the 3 month mortgage holiday...and didn’t tell me

[TonightYoureAStar]

HI so today my bank kindly sent me a text message asking if I was happy with the mortgage holiday I had...but I wasn’t aware that I was having one, went home and asked my partner, who usually pays the monthly repayments as I’m working part-time looking after the 2 boys aged 5 and 7 - but we have a joint mortgage as I paid half the deposit (£80k) and he confessed that he had done this 2 months ago, but hadn’t told me ???!!!! He is still working, hasn’t been furloughed but has had to take a 10% pay cut, which he had told me about so of course I’ve been worried about money during this period and been v.frugal - however yesterday I asked if he could get a cycling helmet for the boys and he told me to get it, as money was tight....so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable to be absolutely f£&king fuming now that I know he’s been saving £1,200 a month without telling me????

What?? This ain’t a joint mortgage is it? Also, why is he only putting such a paltry amount in the joint account?
All salaries should go in the joint account, then pay yourselves the same set amount each month as personal spends.
He’s being a dick and I’d be furious

I think we’re all wasting our time here.

Well this is a bit unpleasant. So he pays the mortgage and gives you five hundred quid a month, and you pay everything else right?

So he took a mortgage holiday and hid it from you so he didn’t have to contribute more than his five hundred and could save the money secretly?

What a prince amongst men he is.

What does your husband earn. I have a relative who was with a man whom turned millionaire (learnt it whilst with her) split up she has got nothing not even the house as she wasnt on mortgage and she left him. If had been married she would have had half the houses he owns in UK and Spain etc. Wjere as my husband is just on normal salary. We have a joint account for shopping but have our own accounts for general spending

Joint accounts.
Me and DP put a set amount in the joint account to cover Bill's and emergencies

The rest is ours. Stays in our accounts for us to do with as we wish. Save what we want.
We will help each other out if needed but if you splurge your money on crap and have no money left at the end of the month.. well that's your fault
Bills are paid and thats that

Don’t mortgage holidays have an impact on your credit rating?

That’s it in a nut shell

Don’t mortgage holidays have an impact on your credit rating? nope that’s the whole point of why the government proposed the scheme

but you've managed to pay the bills until this point .. do you need more help

You’re spectacularly missing the point, although the fact they are arguing over who buys a cycling helmet indicates yes she does.

It’s the deception. He applied in secret and didn’t tell her so he could save the money as his own and not contribute more. He even said he couldn’t afford a cycling helmet and asked her to buy it.

smug married joint account owners, take note

I’m not sure you’re in any position to be doling out financial wisdom right now to be honest. And most partnerships don’t involve people lying and stealing from each other.

You sound so broken OP

Really doesn't have to be this way

Yes you understand!!! thank you, I just needed validation as to why I was so angry but I’m calmer now I know it’s not just me, I will get through this, and there will be a resolution

Thanks that me cry, but it’s ok I’ll be fine

Don’t mortgage holidays have an impact on your credit rating?

Under normal circumstances they are reported to the credit reference agencies but the FCA have instructed lenders to agree payment holidays for covid-related financial difficulty and for them to not be reported. It does affect the amount of interest payable on the mortgage and the monthly installment will go up after the payment holiday though unless the deferred payments are cleared by a lump sum for example.

I would contact bank to say you definitely do not want to extend your mortgage holiday for another three months and ask to make a record on your notes not to agree any more holidays unless they have your signature.

Being unmarried limits your claim to 1/2 of everything. If you do separate make sure all of his earnings are declared for child maintenance.

He sounds sneaky and underhand with money OP. I would be furious too.

More I think about it the more fuming I am on your behalf!!!

He is a devious lying selfish man possibly a fraudster too. I thought the mortgage companies had said it could still affect credit ratings despite it being a mandatory scheme...

I don't know which posters you're replying to each time OP as you seem to be indiscriminately gracious to some posters and rude to others. Hard to tell who you think is helpful and who you think is smug but either way this relationship is very unhealthy and is only going to get more resentful and more toxic as time goes on.

Well, I think that £3600 will pay for an excellent holiday for you and the kids next summer, OP.

Partner will sadly need to be at work and living on beans on toast for those three weeks.

I believe that if you take an extended mortgage holiday Nationwide have said it will affect credit ratings, and other lenders have followed this lead. The belief being that the first set of three months was understandable but if you take another three months it’s because you are a financial risk.

OP, I would call your bank and say you don’t authorise any further payment holidays to be made on the account. It will give you some breathing space whilst you work out what to do without worrying about your credit rating being affected.

My XH was as tight as the proverbial badger's arse, but we always had joint accounts. It's madness not to.

He only pays you £500 a month to cover everything. Food, gas, electricity, water rates, council tax, kids clothing and days out and birthday and Xmas gifts. How on earth do you manage that?

I can understand having separate account. Myself and husband always have, we don't even have a joint account for bills, we also have a dd. However we're very upfront with our money, have access to each other's cards/credit cards if we needed it etc. It just works for us that way, I also think we're both lazy and can't be bothered to faff about setting up new accounts, setting up payments, changing where our money goes etc. 😂
In your situation, I don't necessarily see the problem with him taking the mortgage holiday. Especially if he's a saver, he may have thought this was the best chance incase he lost any more of his wages you'd have a nest egg to keep you going. However he should have told you if it's a joint account.
Have you ever had any other concerns about him hiding money things from you? Or things relating to your house?

smug married joint account owners, take note

Well you aren’t exactly looking so smug right now are you? You might inherit a fortune once whoever it is dies but right now you have a partner paying into a mortgage that you aren’t when you aren’t even married. From what you’ve said you’ve also let your career and earning potential be put on the back burner when you are effectively living with your boyfriend, with separate accounts and you have no claim to his assets. I don’t understand why you seem to happy and smug you aren’t married? You’d be far better off financially right now if you were.

Your OH has taken a mortgage holiday without telling you, has been pocketing the money he should have been paying towards it, AND refused to buy his own child a £15-25 necessary piece of safety equipment to ride his bike safely. Knowing your part time earnings are considerably lower at the moment AND you do all the housework and 80% of the childcare.

He's a fucking arsehole.

Bloody hell OP. Doormat much?

Why on earth are you putting up with this tosser walking all over you financially?