To ask ditherers whether they realise how annoying they are?

[SplunkPostGres]

Caveat - I know some people need extra time due to age, non visible disabilities etc....

But - if you hold queues up because despite waiting for 10 minutes plus you wait until you arrive at the serving point to choose what you want......or you appear surprised that you'll need to pay and start rooting through a huge bag for a purse etc

Are you aware how annoying this?

Just really curious as the woman who held the ice cream queue tonight, deliberately over the many flavours seemed completely oblivious to everyone waiting, the children getting antsy etc

Sigh - many terrible auto corrects there!

I don’t think it crosses their minds for a minute. Like those people who say “I won’t hold you up, but let me just tell you this...” whilst very much holding you up.

They are completely oblivious to anyone or they wouldn't do it .
I'd like to know too very annoying .

In defence of ditherers, rushers are equally aggravating. If you're in that much of a rush, leave the house earlier and give yourself more time.

See also: people who get to the tube exit and need to find their ticket.

It's just ice cream. Save your annoyance for something major.

Orrrr maybe everyone else is just too impatient 🤷‍♀️

My DH is one. I order for him in restaurants now because he annoys himself with how much he dithers. Honestly he will ask them what kind of milkshakes they have when the menu is right in front of him!

It’s making me angry just thinking about it. Eatery’s being closed can only be a good thing!

If you're in that much of a rush, leave the house earlier and give yourself more time.

It's not always about leaving the house earlier. It's annoying when I've only got 30 mins for lunch and someone is holding up the queue hunting around for their purse or not bagging as their stuff is being scanned - waiting till it's all gone through and then starting to pack at the till.

It's a control thing.

I find mostly late people do it.

I’m getting annoyed just reading about ditherers. They are either selfish or just lack basic intelligence.

How do you know she didn’t have an invisible illness.

I’ve lost count of the people who’ve taken their frustration out on my Mum who often gets in a struggle when she needs to pay or make a choice. She looks young and healthy but she’s mid seventies and has had strokes and was beaten up leaving her with a head injury that affected her memory and moods. I’ve a friend who went through similar in her early 20s.

Just have a bit of patience. Impatience is equally annoying and a darn sight ruder.

Nope they don't notice. Yesterday at Tesco there was a couple and teenage daughter (though I thought it was one person per household still) looking at the specialty cheeses. I was waiting 2m away for them to choose and move on. Mother picks up a cheese. Chats to her husband and puts it back, and picks up another. Then daughter rocks up and she can clearly see me waiting as she is facing me. Another chat ensues. Finally the mother makes her choice and they slowly move on. Painful. But oblivious. If they had just been standing there chatting I would have asked them to step aside, but they seemed to be deciding what to get, though taking a very very long time!

If you don't find it annoying, do you think you might be one?

Bet you can't see the ice cream flavours til you get to the counter

@NameChange - the OP specifically said this wasn't about being with conditions that effect their ability to do this.

It's maddening when this happens, a few of my friends are like it. I hate going out to eat with them because I find if embarrassing. Everyone else has decided what they want and a member of staff comes to take the order. They will then ask a hundred questions, can they swap this for that or have this dish but with the sauce from the other one, could they get it cheaper if they didn't have chips, etc. Everyone else is sitting there with rumbling stomachs and the nine times out of ten they will go for the burger. After all that. It's not cute or a character quirk. It's thinking that nobody else has anything better to do than be held up by them. It's extremely rude and annoying.

It's like the idiots that wait until they get to the front of a giant boarding/passport line to start looking for their ticket/passport in their hand luggage - you KNOW you are going to need it, and are wasting time in a queue, how does it not cross your mind to get your fucking ticket/passport out in that dead time so you don't hold everyone else up?

I was behind a mother and a DD10ish in Lidl this afternoon, dozy mother lifting each item
out and looking at before placing it on checkout, child lifts stuff and chats instead of helping put them up, the girl has starting hurtling items through till and dizzy starts ‘oh I forgot a bag’ thought check out girl was going to start chucking her stuff on the floor!!
The sighs from the queue were audible.

Mother picks up a cheese. Chats to her husband and puts it back, and picks up another.
Not ideal at the moment. That sounds like the bloke who was working his way through half the ice cream cabinet at Tesco at the weekend, picking them up & putting them down again

@Ohtherewearethen

I did see the “caveat” wanted to know how did the OP know that the woman in the queue was completely healthy and didn’t have any cognitive impairment?

I’m one of those that’s probably a bit too considerate of others and rush decisions, packing shopping etc. Still it would never occur to me that friends who take time over ordering are being rude in any way.

A bullet in the back of the head is entirely appropriate punishment for people at supermarket checkouts who act surprised when asked to pay for their shopping then start rooting around in their bags to find their purse, then get flustered then start apologising then forget to scan their loyalty cared then can’t find their coupons, then lose their parking ticket then get more flustered then JUST GET ON WITH IT YOU BLOODY IDIOT!!

Patience around fools is not my strong point....

People who stand still at the bottom of an escalator instead of taking one step to the left or right do my head in. We can't stop on the escalator so we WILL have to push you away.

@Keeva2017

I’m getting annoyed just reading about ditherers. They are either selfish or just lack basic intelligence.

I used to be somewhat of a ditherer although I wouldn’t have held a line up like this. It wasn’t to do with control at all. Or because I lack basic intelligence or am selfish.

It was because I was brought up by a narcissistic parent and I had very few rights. Consequently I often didn’t know I was allowed to make decisions. I didn’t know I was allowed in a public library on my own for example. I didn’t know how to say no to someone. Really really basic things.

I work in a call centre and I lost my temper today after 4 ditherers in a row.
Final one came on complaining about the wait to get through, I apologized and asked for her policy number. Oh hang on, shuffling papers for 3 minutes to find it.
Then asked basic questions do you want X, Y, Z. Ooh I’m not sure. I’ll ask dh wanders off comes back he doesn’t want it. No problem move on ooh actually can we go back I think I do want it. Right it’s x price it does X,y,z would you like me to add it. Yes.
Get right the way through to the payment page after numerous interruptions . Actually I don’t think I do want it. Right I’ll go right the way back and remove it. Got through to the payment screen again and she wanted to add it after all.
If she had been face to face I would have bitten her.

It just occurred to me that maybe she couldn't read as there's a huge sign outside listing all the flavours, and then labelled again when you got to the counter.

But it wasn't so much an individual person, as a general type who dither over decision making. I was behind a couple choosing bananas in the supermarket. I’d hate to know how long it took them to choose their mortgage as they took a good 5 minutes on their banana choice.